Best Served Cold
by dreamsingreen
Summary: Forced into Starfleet's service again after his capture, Khan still vows to have his vengeance. And what better way to destroy Kirk than to possess his heart's desire, the admiral's daughter Carol Marcus? Kirk/Carol, eventual Khan/Carol, AU. COMPLETE.
1. A Vicious Cycle

Chapter One – A Vicious Cycle

Where his world had been composed of fire and rage and the deepest despair not so long ago (_weeks? Months? Surely if it had been a year he would have realized_), now his universe was a pristine white, an endless void that he drifted through indifferently.

Khan was content to drift, to continue to exist aimlessly, because if he thought, he would _feel_, and if he felt, if he recalled his profound failure (_however long ago_) he would be forced to confront the agonizing fact that he was utterly without hope once again.

He had miscalculated. He had underestimated his opponent, and now the remaining seventy-two members of his family were reduced to ash, relegated to history. Now he was the only one left of his kind, and he knew that once he had served his captors' purpose, he too would join his crew in death.

No, it was far easier to ignore his mistakes, and to forget his defeat, than to hear the deafening sound of six dozen lives ending piercing the comforting silence, than to see the bright columns of flame break the white monotony of his refuge.

The walls of his cell were seemingly solid and offered no glimpse of the outside world – not even a door was visible, though one could be activated for guards or interrogators to step through, as Khan knew from experience. He supposed that the feeling of being sealed in and buried alive was intended to break a normal prisoner, but he was no normal prisoner, and he was too far gone to care about himself regardless.

Several times in what he imagined to be each week, the circle of metal around his neck would deliver a powerful shock that would paralyze him long enough for his captors to drag him out of his cell to another room in the compound. In that room, there was a metal table with magnetic cuffs, instruments hovering above him within his sight, and many different forms of pain.

There were also questions that broke through his haze of pain, the sound of bones snapping and the whirring of the instruments, queries along the lines of "_What other technology did you design for Admiral Marcus_"and "_How did you escape from Section 31_."

Khan did not often deign to answer, and the cold, detached voices of his tormentors became more aggressive, more desperate. His sessions became more frequent, and even his superior body began to take longer and longer to heal.

He felt nothing but a grim satisfaction as his body slowly broke down – he would never tell the Federation of the full extent of Marcus's corruption. If he could not destroy Starfleet from the outside, then he was content to let it crumble from within.

His world used to have color, light, and purpose, but now it all that it contained was bright white, gunmetal gray, and his broken bones and torn skin.

And then it all changed.

* * *

"Think of the advances medical science could make if we could permanently contain him – his blood is like the goddamn Elixir of Life. You can attest to that, Captain Kirk."

Kirk shifted uncomfortably in his chair at the Admiral's reference to his technical 'death' almost three months ago. He knew that he logically _should_ have remained dead, and the fact that Khan, who had murdered the man that he considered a surrogate father, had also indirectly saved his life still disturbed him. He preferred not to think about it.

"There's no denying that, sir," Kirk responded reluctantly. "But is any benefit enough to justify the risk of keeping him awake?"

Kirk's thoughts wandered as two new Admirals began to debate whether Starfleet had the appropriate research facilities to securely imprison a genetically engineered superman. Hadn't Marcus already tried that before and failed? The results had been disastrous for many individuals in Starfleet and for countless innocents in London and San Francisco.

Until now, it hadn't been that difficult to push aside his reservations about the new blood flowing through his veins, because there was still so much rebuilding to be done. A sizeable part of San Francisco was destroyed and over twenty thousand people, civilians and Starfleet officers alike, were dead due to the _U.S.S. Vengeance _crash.

Kirk had attended over two dozen funerals since the attacks on the _Enterprise_ and the disaster in San Francisco, and he thought that he had seen enough grief and loss to last him ten lifetimes. All of the senseless destruction was caused by two men with entirely different goals, but a shared bloodlust.

Kirk glanced over at Carol Marcus while considering his opinion on Khan's fate. Carol was the _Enterprise's_ new science officer, and not a Captain or a Commander, but she was permitted to attend the tribunal because of her relation to the deceased Admiral Marcus and the high level of clearance she previously had on many of Section 31's projects.

Kirk's blood still ran cold at the memory of the events on the _Vengeance_; Khan's sudden recovery and betrayal after he was supposedly stunned, culminating in him crushing Carol's father's skull like an oversized grape. The image still stuck in his mind sometimes, and he was sure that it was a thousand times worse for Carol.

Carol rarely let her veil of stoic professionalism drop, but Kirk could tell that she was suffering – from both the revelation of her father's true character, and from witnessing his brutal death. She smiled slightly back at Kirk, still paying attention to the arguing admirals. Kirk knew that she felt unwelcome here, as if she shared her father's guilt.

"What about these seventy-two other freaks?" Admiral Warren's voice, far less kind, broke through Kirk's reverie. "They were condemned to death as war criminals, and have few protections under our current regulations. If we can research them and replicate their healing abilities, think of all the injured people in San Francisco and London we can cure."

Kirk felt Spock stiffen beside him, and he knew that his first officer was struggling to balance the logic of the admiral's argument with its morality. Truthfully, the ruthless suggestion disturbed him as well – he would not be bothered if Khan was frozen forever or executed, but dragging his blameless crew back into the mess as lab rats was an injustice on par with what Admiral Marcus had done.

Kirk still remembered Khan's plea on the _Enterprise_ as he spoke the first words that Kirk could identify with: _Is there anything you would not do for your family?_ It was the first and only trace of humanity he had seen in Khan.

Kirk met Spock's eyes in a silent question, and Spock nodded his agreement. Before Kirk could open his mouth to suggest an alternative, however, a voice on his left piped up.

"Sir, may I speak freely?" Carol asked, addressing the new head Admiral Stevens. Stevens paused and looked at her curiously, as if he was still not used to seeing her as the disgraced former admiral's daughter.

"Go ahead, Doctor Marcus," he allowed, no doubt curious about what she had to say. The absence of Admiral Marcus was still felt among the new chain of command, and his daughter's presence made it all the more conspicuous.

"As you all know by now," Carol began, her voice unsteady but her eyes bright, "my father Admiral Marcus started this entire tragic series of events by waking Mr. Singh to design weapons in the first place. His reasoning for doing so was twisted, but ultimately, he thought that his actions would benefit the Federation and save lives. He was wrong."

Kirk noticed Carol's hands shaking underneath the table and he grabbed one as support. She squeezed his hand back briefly before continuing.

"I mean what I say next with the utmost respect. My father was prepared to fight what he saw as evil, but in doing so, by taking the most ruthless course possible, he became evil himself, and the blood of all the people Mr. Singh killed is on his hands as well. War criminals or not, superhumans or not, the former commander and his crew are people, and treating them as weapons or as test subjects will only prolong this vicious cycle."

"So what do you suggest?" Admiral Warren sneered. "That the former commander should get off scot free? Go happily back to sleep?"

"Not at all, sir," Carol countered sharply. "Mr. Singh is a murderer, and he should answer for what he's done. But his crew is blameless for his recent crimes, and they should not share his sentence."

Spock looked at Carol with a new respect, and Kirk knew that he had to back her up. He wasn't about to let a world-weary admiral dismiss her argument, especially when he agreed with everything that she was saying.

"Sir, permission to speak?" Kirk asked, hoping that his support would help sway the ultimate decision.

"Speak up, son," Stevens allowed.

"I think that Doctor Marcus is right, sir. Even if some good comes out of exploiting Khan's crew, the ultimate cost to Starfleet will be far greater. Do we want to become an organization that disregards the basic rights of our enemies? An organization that punishes innocent crewmembers for the actions of their Captain? And even if we decide that such a moral sacrifice is necessary, how are we gonna control seventy-two ticking time bombs at once? We've already seen how much damage Khan alone can do. It's not worth the risk."

The occupants of the room fell silent for a moment as they considered Kirk's words. Kirk held his breath, focusing on the warmth of Carol's hand in his own. If their words were not heeded, if Starfleet decided to throw away everything that it stood for, he would have to resign his duties. He, for one, did not want to help continue Admiral Marcus's flawed legacy.

"Perhaps a compromise is in order," Stevens concluded after a pause. "Mr. Singh will be used as the Federation sees fit, but his crew will remain in cryostasis. The only issue that remains is how to prevent him from doing any further damage."

"If you will allow me to explain, sir," Spock spoke up suddenly at Kirk's side, "I may be able to suggest a workable solution."

* * *

The solid wall of the cell shifted and was replaced seamlessly by a pane of glass. Kirk and Spock peered in, shocked at what they saw. The cell's single occupant was a far cry from the self-possessed, prideful man they had fought and barely defeated several months before.

Khan sat slumped against the wall of the unfurnished cell, his eyes closed, breathing heavily from either exertion or controlled pain. He did not bother to look out of the window at them, perhaps not realizing or caring that this was a change in his routine. His hair was filthy, covered in sweat and something that looked suspiciously like dried blood, and he was unshaven. There was a thin metal collar circling his neck, though Kirk could not tell what its purpose was by merely looking at it.

Kirk pounded on the glass with his fist. "Hey, Khan!"

The augmented human froze at the sound of Kirk's voice and slowly opened his eyes, blinking as he saw Kirk and then Spock. A split-second later, he was hurtling across the cell and slammed into the glass wall, his eyes focused on Spock.

"Murderer!" Khan screamed, still standing despite the obvious toll his sudden movement had taken on his body. "You killed them all, you lying bastard!"

Khan slumped against the glass, propping himself up with one hand as Kirk and Spock exchanged alarmed looks.

"You seriously mean nobody told you?" Kirk replied in surprise, starting the feel the first stirrings of sympathy for Khan. It was enough for him to be imprisoned and obviously mistreated, without thinking that all of his loved ones were dead on top of that.

"Told me what?" Khan snapped, his eyes fixating on Kirk with all the intensity of a laser beam.

"Mr. Singh, your crew is alive," Spock began carefully. "All seventy-two of them remain in their cryo-tubes in a secure location."

Khan stared at Spock in disbelief before his eyes moved back to Kirk's, searching his face for any signs of dishonesty.

"How…" Khan wondered, confusion evident on his face for a split-second before his razor-sharp mind pieced the evidence together. He laughed raggedly and an invisible weight seemed to drop from his shoulders. "'Vulcans do not lie, the _torpedoes _are yours...' Oh, you _are_ smart, Mr. Spock. I suppose that you're here because you want something from me."

"We're here to make you an offer that you're free to accept or refuse," Kirk said firmly, "though it's probably in your best interest to accept it."

"Hmmm," Khan mused, his eyes glimmering dangerously. "I presume that it involves the fate of my crew in some way. Does your Starfleet never learn from its mistakes?"

"If you agree to our terms, the _Enterprise_ will ensure the safety of your crew as they remain in cryosleep," Kirk continued, ignoring Khan's jab. "If you choose to decline, the decision will go back to the Federation, and its top officers will determine the fate of you and your crew. You should know that many of them want to make you and your entire crew into lab rats."

Khan clenched his jaw in anger and looked away, trying to gather control over his emotions before speaking.

"And what _are_ your terms, Kirk?" Khan ground out, his pride injured from having to depend on his enemy's mercy for his crew's salvation.

"There is a Vulcan technology that has been around for several decades now," Spock replied in Kirk's place. "We only use it to reform our most violent criminals. It is placed along the patient's spine and encourages non-violence as well as obedience. If its recipient attempts to remove it without a qualified Vulcan physician's help, its removal results in paralysis or death."

"If you agree, you'll have to undergo that procedure," Kirk explained, "and Federation scientists will still want to run some tests on you on the _Enterprise_. But Dr. McCoy and I will ensure that they don't go too far."

Khan listened carefully, weighing the benefits and downsides of Kirk's offer. He knew that the Vulcan treatment would limit his actions and lessen his chances of being able to free himself and his crew, and he was far from eager to become a piece of meat for lesser beings' experimentation.

But he also knew that if he refused, he would be condemning his crew to an undignified fate far worse than death. Khan believed that he could rely on Kirk's mercy as long as he appeared to cooperate; the young captain had a conscience that many of his jaded new commanding officers lacked.

He could always bide his time and strike when Kirk least expected it. In the end, he still vowed that his crew would be awake and free, and that he would have his vengeance for this insult.

"If you prove to me that my crew is alive and well, I will agree to your offer," Khan responded finally.

"We can't take you there in person," Kirk countered, "but we can prove it. You'd better not screw this up, you murdering son of a bitch."

Khan regarded Kirk curiously. "Why did you speak for us? I would have destroyed your crew, and yet you protect mine?"

"Don't thank me," Kirk shot back as he and Spock turned to leave. "Thank the woman whose father you murdered right in front of her eyes."

_The Admiral's daughter_, Khan recalled, _Dr. Carol Marcus._

He stood contemplating that name for a long time after his visitors were gone.

* * *

_a/n:_ I'm new to the fandom and this is my first try at a Star Trek story, so if I get certain details wrong from the canon, that's the reason why. If this is worth continuing, please review and let me know! :)

This first chapter was partially a response to something that bothered me in the movie, which was Khan being shoved back in cryo as if nothing ever happened. I would have liked to see an explanation of that, but I decided to take an AU route for this story.

Carol will feature more in future chapters, and she and Khan will gradually be drawn to one another ;) I hope that everyone is in character so far.


	2. Trial and Error

Chapter Two – Trial and Error

"_Well, Kirk…seems apt to return you to your crew. After all, __**no ship should go down without her captain**__!"_

_Beams of light surrounded both Scotty and Captain Kirk, transporting them back to the Enterprise, but she remained in stuck in place, trapped on an enemy ship with one of the most dangerous men in the known universe._

_She tried to move, to escape somewhere to more relative safety, but she was pinned down like a frog in a science experiment, both legs broken, the bones in her arms shattered and locked in place. _

_She chanced a look to her left and her heart nearly stopped as she took in the gruesome sight that she had tried to block out of her mind; her father's lifeless body, his head reduced to nothing but a bloody pulp._

_She screamed again in horror, momentarily forgetting not to draw additional attention to herself. The dark creature in the captain's chair swiveled slowly upon hearing her, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. His eyes, so cold and devoid of any traces of humanity, even hatred, locked on hers. _

"_I want you to watch carefully, Dr. Marcus," the rogue commander began, his whisper carrying across the bridge, "and see what happens to those whom I deem to be my enemies. Watch, and pray that I show you as much mercy as I will show them."_

"_Wait" she wanted to say, or "kill me instead", but her voice caught in her throat, and she could not make a sound no matter how much air she drew into her lungs._

"_Lock phasers," Khan commanded, his voice sounding almost indifferent._

_Across the cold reaches of space, the Enterprise remained motionless, its warp core damaged and its shields nearly wiped out from the Vengeance's first barrage only minutes ago._

_She wanted to look away, but just as it had been with her father's death, her eyes refused to obey her. She thought of the people she had met during her short time on the Enterprise: Commander Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scotty, and Captain Kirk…all of their lives would be extinguished in under a minute for no reason other than a madman's grudge._

"_Fire!" Khan shouted, the first traces of excitement appearing in his voice. She watched transfixed as red beams of energy tore through the Enterprise, its machinery and crewmembers thrown into the void of space. Eventually, several surreal seconds later, the Enterprise itself fell in flames, its warp core and shields damaged beyond repair from Khan's attack. _

"_Report all signs of life from inside the enemy ship," Khan ordered the computer, his voice clipped and his eyes hungry._

"_No signs of life detected," the Vengeance's automated voice replied several seconds later._

_Khan allowed a wide smile to split his face, and he stood, his eyes fixed on distant stars, basking in the glory of his total victory._

_She felt tears slipping over her cheeks, and she could only watch, paralyzed, as he slowly turned to look at her, considering her fully for the first time._

"_My many other enemies are dead and gone," he said quietly, his combat boots hardly making a sound as he strode towards her, "but the matter of your punishment must still be addressed."_

_He was all shadowed angles and predatory grace, and as he reached her, he knelt down to her level, stroking her wet cheek gently in mock comfort._

"_When I was the Admiral's prisoner," Khan began, his tone open and conversational, "I heard that he had a daughter, so pretty and intelligent, so loving and devoted. You supported your father, knowingly or not, in every project that he ever undertook."_

_She began to shake her head in denial, but was stopped by two hands braced on each side of her skull, fingers as cold and strong as steel holding her head firmly in place._

"_So why should you not share his fate?"_

_Khan began to squeeze, and Carol felt her world collapse around her as she screamed again in indescribable agony – _

Carol's eyes shot open and she sat up quickly, her heart hammering in her chest. Small patches of light filtered into the dim room from the hall, illuminating the rumpled covers on the bed and the form of the man beside her.

Kirk shifted and yawned, awake from her sudden movement. He sat up slowly, leaning against the headboard and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, feeling the tremors running down her body. It had been like this most nights he slept beside her during the past few weeks – she would toss and turn, tormented by whatever new tortures her sleeping mind concocted before waking up entirely, unable to fall back asleep.

In the morning, Kirk knew that she used makeup to cover the dark circles underneath her eyes, but he still saw subtle signs of her exhaustion that were harder for her to mask.

She never told him the content of her dreams, but Kirk could make a few good guesses. Anger churned in his stomach as he thought of the likely culprit.

"It's nothing, Jim," Carol responded quickly. "I'm fine. It's just…" She ran a shaking hand through her hair in frustration, unable to express her fear and uncertainty in words.

"What is it? You can tell me," Kirk repeated quietly, his hands gently massaging her arms and shoulders.

"Did I do the right thing? Are we going to regret this?"

Carol's voice was hesitant in the darkness and silence, and Kirk did not need to ask her to specify what she was referring to. Khan was going to be transferred back from New Vulcan and onto the _Enterprise_ later that day; according to Spock's report, the treatment was a success. Still, despite his appreciation of some aspects of Vulcan technology, Kirk was paranoid about it not working – if there had been any error, no matter how minor, Khan would quickly find a way to exploit it.

"The device is supposed to be foolproof – even he shouldn't be able to interfere with it," Kirk responded slowly, trying to reassure Carol as well as himself. "I **know** that we did the right thing - if not for Khan, then for his crew, and for Starfleet as a whole."

"I hope that you're right," Carol whispered, easing back down underneath the covers.

"Hell, we'll barely ever see him," Kirk continued, trying to sound nonchalant. "He'll be in the med bay, and Bones will be fighting off the scientists trying to dissect him. After a few days, we might almost forget that he's here."

Carol smiled absently, her mind wandering as she thought about how she had arrived at this point in her life. If someone had told her three months ago that her father was a ruthless warmonger, or that she would end up tentatively dating Jim Kirk, she would have laughed in in their face before flipping them the bird.

Her father…had become increasingly distant since her teenage years, but the revelation of his crimes had still shaken her world at its foundations. Witnessing his murder and attending his funeral did not provide closure for her; she knew that she was still associated with her father's bloody legacy every time she saw people's pity-filled gazes and quickly averted eyes, and heard sudden silence whenever she walked into a room.

While she had never been shown outright _favoritism_ in Starfleet before her father's death and disgrace, oftentimes because of her own insistence, officers and her father's fellow admirals had a level of warmth and familiarity with her that they did not always show other cadets.

Now she was the daughter of a traitor, and she would have to work hard to forge a new image for herself, if such a thing was even possible.

Kirk had shown total faith in her, and as they spent more and more time together while Carol recovered from the events of the past months, her physical attraction began to morph into something deeper.

She still wasn't entirely sure how she felt, and despite Kirk's support, she could not afford to forget about what had happened to poor Christine Chapel, and God only knew how many other girls. She wanted to trust Kirk, but she had wanted to trust her father as well, and she had only ended up disappointed.

Carol relaxed against the pillows, feeling Kirk's arms wrap back around her. She knew that she would be unable to fall back asleep, so she mentally reviewed her schedule for the day. She would have to do her usual checks of the _Enterprise's_ weapons and defensive systems before heading down to medical to have Bones check up on her leg, hopefully before Khan arrived.

Carol hoped that Kirk would be right about forgetting that Khan was aboard, but even now, the memory of his icy blue eyes would not leave her tired mind.

* * *

He woke again in a panic, electrical shocks travelling up and down his spine and throughout his body. It felt as if he was slowly being cooked alive from his spinal column outward. Khan groaned, bright fluorescent light filtering in through his closed eyelids and making his headache worse. He tried to move an arm and was surprised to find that he could; apparently he hadn't been cuffed or strapped down.

Remembering something, he reached up to touch his neck, noting that the shock collar that had been there for months now was gone. He presumed that his 'treatment' had been deemed a success – they would never risk removing it otherwise.

Footsteps sounded on his right and Khan tensed, preparing to address the potential threat despite his body's distress.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic," a semi-familiar voice chided, "you only had a mind-control device grafted onto your spine. Jim was dead for ten minutes, and even he didn't bitch about it as much as you."

He slowly opened his eyes, wincing as the bright light streamed in. "Dr. McCoy," he ground out, his throat dry and his voice rough from dehydration.

"The very same," the man on the right side of his bed quipped, manually measuring Khan's heartbeat and temperature with the device he was holding. "Glad to see that the treatment hasn't impacted your memory – it took those bastards a week to connect it to your spine and test it for errors."

"A week..?" Khan responded, McCoy's words triggering further unease. He sat up quickly, a painful pulse of energy running through his body as he did. McCoy's flinch was barely noticeable, but he still moved away – a fearful reaction that Khan was pleased he could still inspire. "Commander Spock told me that the procedure should take around three days. Why was the extra time necessary?"

McCoy frowned, his eyes measuring Khan's reaction. "The procedure takes approximately three days on a _healthy_ patient."

Khan stared back, his frenzied mind not fully comprehending the doctor's insinuation. "I'm sure that I'm stronger than any Vulcan criminal who has ever been forced to accept this treatment."

"But not healthier," McCoy lectured, crossing his arms. "You had more than a few fractured bones, internal bleeding, as well as signs of dehydration and starvation. It's lucky that you healed so damn fast once they hooked you up to an IV."

"I see," Khan replied, relaxing slightly back onto the bed. He was relieved that McCoy did not mean something else – he would have healed quickly from the interrogations anyway.

"Mind sharing how all of that happened?" McCoy inquired, shining a small light in Khan's eyes.

"I fell," he replied drily, reluctant to talk about his prior time in captivity, the light aggravating his headache even more.

McCoy rolled his eyes in exasperation and clicked off the light, setting a glass of water and a handful of pills beside Khan's bed. "Well, at least your sarcasm hasn't been affected – it could be worse. Benzodiazepines," he said, indicating the pills on the table. "Take them when you feel a bit stronger, and drink all of the water. They should help."

"With what?" Khan inquired, reluctant to take medications when he still was unsure of how the new device in his body worked.

"The electric shocks that I'm sure you're getting. That sensation reportedly fades within a few days as the body adjusts. Perhaps a bit more quickly for you. And don't even _think_ about going anywhere."

Khan closed his eyes again, and he heard the doctor's footsteps moving away several seconds later. He tried to control his breathing and ignore the maddening pulses of energy coursing through his body. He needed to stay calm, to focus his mind and discover how this new Vulcan-designed restraint worked.

He had been in dire situations many times before during his twenty-six years of life before cryosleep; circumventing the new device in his spine and outwitting the crew of the _Enterprise_ at the same time would be a challenge, but one that he was confident he could overcome.

Khan ignored McCoy's medical advice, his thoughts turning back to his unexpected defender among the _Enterprise_'_s_ top officers – Dr. Carol Marcus. He had learned several important details about her when he was forced to serve Admiral Marcus; she was one of Starfleet's top weapons specialists, and also one of the youngest officers ever to graduate from their academy.

He had wondered fleetingly once before meeting her if she was an aggressive warmonger like her father, and if his shared values explained her interest in military technology. After he had seen her on the _Enterprise_, and after he had broken her leg on the_ Vengeance_, however, he was forced to rework his initial hypothesis.

He had sensed that she _despised_ violence, a mindset that was both foreign and unnatural to him, and that her main objective was to ensure the safety of her friends, which was a goal, conversely, that he could sympathize with entirely.

But now, apparently, she had spoken for her father's murderer, or at least his crew, despite all the deaths that he had caused. When Kirk had returned to his cell before he was taken to New Vulcan for the treatment, the captain had listed a number in a transparent attempt to guilt his prisoner – over twenty-thousand dead in San Francisco alone, not counting in London and dozens of crewmembers on the _Enterprise_.

Carol Marcus had every reason to despise him, and to want him to suffer, yet she had defended him and his crew. Khan reasoned that morality had little to do with it; who would defend a mass murderer? He suspected that she had a hidden motive, and the more he thought about it, the more uneasy he became.

She was her father's daughter, after all.

After a few minutes, Khan noticed that his unease was not only mental, but also physical. Tendrils of pain shot through his arms and legs, different from the electricity before, and he felt the urge to get up and _move,_ along with the troubling feeling that he was forgetting something important. Khan frowned – he never forgot anything.

He wanted to walk out of the med bay, but he remembered Dr. McCoy's warning: _Don't even think about going anywhere_. Khan thought it would be best to obey, at least until he gained the man's trust. But surely the doctor wouldn't object to him walking around his room?

Khan stood, the handful of pills and the glass of water catching his eye. He scoffed and took a few steps towards the window, his discomfort only growing worse. He turned back to stare at the medicine, a sudden idea appearing in his mind.

Spock had said that the technology "_encouraged non-violence as well as obedience._" By "encouraged" Khan assumed that there was some form of physical coercion. Did the pain he was experiencing now count? Was he allowed to disobey Dr. McCoy's orders?

There was only one way to find out – the doctor had given one very clear order. Khan peered out of the window and hesitantly opened the door, stepping into the hall. The second he did so, his entire body felt as if it had been doused in gasoline and lit with a match.

He barely suppressed a scream and rushed back into the room. The agony subsided almost immediately, and Khan sank to his knees, still shaking in shock. Not all of his pain vanished, however, and he remembered McCoy's other order.

Khan reluctantly stood and swallowed the pills, drinking all of the water as McCoy had specified. Again, his pain vanished right away, and he growled in frustration, crushing the glass in his grip. Shards stuck in his hand and he sank back onto the bed, holding his head in his hands. At least he knew more now about how the technology worked, though he had no ideas yet about how to combat it.

The sedatives gradually made him drowsy, and when his world was mildly blurry, Khan lay down again, hoping for a short escape from his puzzling new situation.

* * *

"It's looking good," Dr. McCoy exclaimed as he studied the x-ray results in his hands. "You should only have to wear the brace for another week. Make sure you come back for a final checkup before walking without it, though."

"Thank you, doctor," Carol smiled, putting her leg brace back in place and standing up carefully. She had been reluctant to go to medical today after seeing Khan wheeled in on a gurney, flanked by a dozen security guards, but perhaps he was still unconscious. Carol only hoped that Kirk's faith in the Vulcan treatment was not misplaced – Khan would presumably not be asleep forever.

Bones noticed her distant look and glanced at a room down the hall knowingly. "I bet you're wondering where they put the walking WMD – he's right over there, probably still brooding."

"You mean he's already awake? Did you speak with him?" Carol inquired, a hint of fear entering her voice.

"Yeah, he seemed a bit confused. And pissed off," Bones added, a smirk spreading over his face. "I gave him some sedatives to calm him down."

"Is he…is the treatment working? If it doesn't work, how will we stop him?"

Bones smiled sadly at her, a hint of sympathy in his eyes as he remembered what had happened to her the last time she had seen Khan. "It's working, trust me. He's harmless as a newborn kitten and he _knows_ it. And if he tries to step out of that room without my permission…he'll regret it. Those Vulcans don't mess around when it comes to rehabilitating their criminals."

Carol grimaced slightly at the mention of the intense physical punishments that the device supposedly inflicted for certain actions, while feeling a sense of relief that Khan was fitted with it at the same time.

She said goodbye to Dr. McCoy and walked slowly down the hall, cautiously approaching the room where the former terrorist was being held despite her apprehension. She felt an almost reckless sense of curiosity driving her forward – she had to see what had become of Khan, to make sure that he was harmless for herself, or she would never have a moment's peace.

She glanced into the window, seeing only the outline of a form beneath the standard-issue hospital covers. She frowned, dissatisfied at not being able to see his face, to see the evidence of his defeat. She noticed that the door of the room was slightly ajar; if she could peek in for a second at the threshold, she could see him at a better angle. After all, Carol reasoned, he shouldn't be able to leave the room, and she could move out of his reach easily if he decided to attack.

She crept forward, her leg brace making her movements awkward, and her heart pounding in her ears. She peered past the open door, seeing his dark hair sprawled across the pillow and his chest rising and falling slowly in sleep. His face looked so peaceful, so different from how desperate it had been three months ago during the conflict and how menacing it was in her dreams. Carol smiled slightly despite herself, glad that he didn't seem to be in any additional pain.

She heard a cry from beyond the hallway and looked quickly over her shoulder, her heart nearly jumping out of her chest. She watched as a mechanic was helped into the med bay, blood dripping down his arm, presumably from a work accident.

She relaxed again and turned to leave, satisfied that the _Enterprise_ was safe for the moment, before feeling a vice-like grip around her upper arm and an equally strong hand muffling her scream. She was pulled back past the threshold of the room and spun around so that her attacker could see her face.

"Dr. Carol Marcus," Khan whispered, his eyes as blue and cold as they always were in her nightmares, "what a lucky coincidence. You are just the person I want to see."

* * *

_a/n:_ Thanks so much for all of the kind reviews! You guys really encouraged me to continue writing right away. :) Next chapter will include Khan's and Carol's first confrontation (obviously), and I apologize for the cliffhanger, but I really want their interaction to be good. I also can't seem to resist the urge to torture all of my favorite characters…hmmmm. :)


	3. An Earnest Question

Chapter Three – An Earnest Question

"Dr. Carol Marcus," Khan whispered, fighting to ignore the sharp stabbing pains in his arms and hands, "what a lucky coincidence. You are just the person I want to see."

Her initial scream had been muffled by his hand, and now her blue eyes were filled with some of the purest terror that Khan had ever seen. It was a beautiful reflection of the power he once had, and of the power he could have again if he remained determined and calculating.

Of course, he had no power now, no _true _power that was not a smokescreen or an illusion. When he had heard footsteps approaching his door that were lighter that Dr. McCoy's, as if they were a woman's, and with a slight drag and an awkwardness that indicated a limp, he knew that his once-good fortune had not completely run dry.

He had been on the verge of sleep when he heard Carol Marcus approach and pause hesitantly by the door, and when a sudden incident from outside caught her attention, he took the opportunity provided to him and grabbed her.

The animal fear in her eyes was certainly gratifying, but the pain that his impulsive action had caused him was not. It was yet another reminder of his new status as a slave to lesser beings, a status that he vowed to reverse.

Aware of the device in his spine, he had not _intended_ to hurt her, and was careful to mind his strength, but the pain in his arms was both an indication that he had crossed a boundary and a warning not to go any further. Khan still remembered the agony that disobeying McCoy's direct order had caused; he was not eager to learn the punishment for so-called violent actions just yet.

Carol began to struggle, beyond her initial state of frozen terror, and the spasms that wracked his arms suggested that he would not be able to hold her much longer without further consequences.

"Dr. Marcus," Khan began, his voice firm but soothing, "I cannot hurt you, as I'm sure you already know. I only wish to talk, and this was the only way I saw how. If I let you go, may we have a civilized conversation?"

* * *

Carol froze again, her eyes narrowing as she considered the augment's words. Once she had overcome her initial shock, she noticed that Khan's arms were shaking, as if he was in considerable pain from holding her. She was not completely convinced by his argument that he was _unable_ to hurt her, as she recognized his talent for deception, but she guessed that if he did, the punishment from the device along his spine would be terrible.

She nodded once and he smiled slightly, holding her gaze as he let go. The spasms in his arms seemed to subside, but she did not give him any time to recover. Instead of running or screaming for help, she indulged her anger and drove her fist into his face as hard as she could.

Khan barely flinched, and Carol knew that she had done far more damage to her hand than she had to his nose.

"That was still too civilized for you," she hissed, her righteous anger at being startled quickly morphing back into fear. She took a step back out of instinct, wondering if he would grab her again if she tried to run. Had she gone too far? Would he take his chances and hurt her now?

Khan only stared at her curiously, his head tilted, before he began to laugh softly. "You are certainly _full_ of surprises, Dr. Marcus. And you hit almost as hard as Kirk, though I suppose that is not high praise."

"Go to hell," she spat, trying to disguise how much her voice was shaking. "I would have spoken with you if you had just _asked_, Khan. You know, like a _normal_ person, instead of a psychotic killer."

"Ah," Khan responded, nodding in acknowledgement of her words. "I apologize," he began, although he didn't sound particularly sorry. "I have had a very trying few months with some unusually…_ruthless_ people. Please excuse me, Dr. Marcus."

Carol shivered; she was certain that he had just made a reference to torture, though she supposed that it shouldn't have surprised her. Until the meeting a week ago when she had persuaded the admirals to spare Khan's crew from becoming lab rats, she had thought that all beings in the Federation had basic rights.

Even if Khan _deserved_ to be tortured and experimented on for his crimes, Carol believed that their leaders should strive for better. And, of course, the longer she thought about it, the more she wondered why it had been necessary to torture him in the first place.

Despite her unexpected flash of sympathy, however, Carol still loathed the arrogant man in front of her. He had tried to destroy the _Enterprise_ even after Kirk had risked all of their lives to spare and protect him and his crew in defiance of her father's orders. And her father…even if Khan was justified in killing him, he could have done so in a less vicious manner. Despite her knowledge of her father's crimes, Carol wished that he could have had an open-casket funeral.

"What do you want with me, Mr. Singh?" Carol snapped, her voice cold. Apparently it was the wrong response – Khan's open and relaxed demeanor became tense, and his eyes were like two chips of ice.

"How interesting, doctor – I wanted to ask you that same question." Khan took a step closer, closing the new distance between them, his glacial gaze never leaving her face.

"What are you playing at –" she responded before Khan cut her off.

"_Twice_ now, doctor – twice you have behaved unexpectedly in regards to me. Firstly, you risked your rank to defend us, or at least my people, in front of a group of Starfleet admirals, despite the fact that it is your right to demand that I suffer. Then you come to peer at me from the doorway, even though you obviously fear me. Would you care to explain these contradictions?" Khan's voice became quieter and more deadly as he listed his queries, ending in a low whisper, but Carol heard every word.

"Wait - who told you what I said to the admirals?" Carol wondered, knowing that there were only a few logical suspects – Khan probably had not had contact with many high-ranking people in Starfleet since his capture.

"That is irrelevant," Khan snapped impatiently. "Don't avoid my questions."

"_Don't_ tell me what to do," Carol shot back, gaining more confidence as Khan's veil of power and menace slowly unraveled. He could say whatever he wanted to her, and make whatever threats he wished, but he couldn't back up his words with violence without hurting himself the most.

Khan's eyes narrowed and an almost inhuman expression crossed his face before his features smoothed back into a blank mask. A thrill of terror ran down Carol's spine; she wondered if Khan had looked that way when he set the _Vengeance _on a collision course with San Francisco.

_Twenty-thousand people died because of his order_, she reminded herself, _and he has yet to show even a hint of remorse for it._

The fact that he wore a polite, civilized mask to disguise the savagery beneath disturbed her more than she was willing to admit. As a weapons specialist in a high-tech world, Carol knew that even the most innocuous –looking objects could be deadly. She knew how to find and disarm untraceable bombs, and she was the only person on board the _Enterprise_ who had suspected that there was something suspicious about the Admiral's seventy-two torpedoes.

Carol also knew that weapons were one thing, and sentient beings were quite another. Khan was _both_ ; he was a person who could think, feel, and act for himself, as well as a being who had been _designed_ by his creators to be as strong, intelligent, and savage as humanly possible. He was unpredictable, and Carol knew that if she wanted to get the upper hand in this conversation, she would have to be unpredictable as well.

"You should listen carefully, Mr. Singh," Carol lectured, a confidence that she was not yet sure she felt leaking into her voice. She took another step towards him so that their bodies almost touched, invading his space as he had invaded hers. "You have no right to ask _any_ questions, or to order me or anyone else on this ship to do _anything_." She leaned forward, her lips almost brushing against his ear. "Shall I tell you why?"

* * *

"Shall I tell you why?"

The admiral's daughter was so close that he could feel the heat from her body, and her lips almost brushed against his ear as she leaned up.

She had said something as she unexpectedly closed the distance between them, but Khan was not sure what it was. He could only think of how her lips would feel against his skin, and how if he leaned forward even slightly, they would be pressed together.

He was not usually one to be swayed by a woman, at least before cryosleep. In his former life, if he had a need, he always found someone to take care of it before he moved on without any further attachments.

After sleeping for three hundred years alone, however, he was starting to feel as if he was missing something. In the past year that he had been awake, Khan had broken bones, crushed skulls, and had unfortunately received many injuries himself. As a born warrior, violence satisfied some of his need for physical contact, but it was not _everything_.

_What is she doing?_ Khan thought, wondering when her fear of him had evaporated, leaving only defiance behind.

He appreciated her fear far more – when he had demanded that she answer his questions, she had replied with an order of her own, despite the fact that she probably did not realize the full significance of her words. The device in his spine might, however. He would have to be careful about "telling her what to do" in case she _did_ have authority over him like Dr. McCoy.

He was essentially powerless against her, and he was certain that she wanted to use him and his crew for her own ends. It angered him beyond belief, and Khan had struggled to keep his expression neutral.

And now she wanted to play games with him.

It vexed him, but Khan would play if he had to. He knew that he needed to keep tighter control over his emotions; he had allowed Marcus and then Spock to manipulate his desire to save his crew months ago, and all of the obstacles he faced now were partially a result of that. From now on, he knew that he would have to favor his cunning over his strength, his resolve over his righteous anger. The change suited him well; after all, calculated strategy was an essential part of warfare.

"_Please_ tell me," he whispered in response, careful not to make an outright demand.

She circled around him, her warmth moving from his front to just behind his right shoulder. He held his breath, wondering what she was about to do. He jumped slightly as he felt her finger run slowly down his spine, pain and pleasure merging together at her fingertip. He barely suppressed a moan, and tried not to lean into her touch.

"_This_ is why," she replied quietly, her voice no longer shaking in fear, but in suppressed rage. "Three months ago, Captain Kirk and everyone under his command risked their _lives_ to protect your crew and to get you a fair trial. And then you betrayed us regardless. _Dozens_ of people on board this ship died when you fired on us, and…and _Kirk_ died, even after you already had your revenge against my father for his crimes. But that still wasn't enough for you, was it, Mr. Singh? You deliberately piloted a starship into a populated city, with the intent to kill everyone in your path."

"That's not what–" Khan began, offended by her one-sided version of events.

"No, _shut up_," Carol snapped, and Khan stopped speaking when he felt the first indications of fiery pain.

"And your suicide attack might not have killed you, but it killed twenty-thousand others. People who were just going about their daily lives, people with _families_. None of them had any idea who you were, or why they were about to die," Carol continued, the conviction in her voice only growing stronger.

"And you didn't _care_ about any of it. You still don't. I don't know why – if it's because you were designed to be this way or because you simply enjoy being a monster. But I _do_ know that Kirk is risking everything to protect your crew again. You as well – you're better off here than anywhere else. And this –" she jabbed his spine with her finger, and this time there was no pleasure, but only a spasm of pain " – _this_ ensures that you'll never be able to repeat what you did. You have no power here, and that's why."

Khan's ire rose as her speech went on and on. Not long ago, he had been proud of the damage he had caused, believing that it was a just payment for what Starfleet, and by extension Earth as a whole, had done to his family. Now he felt the absurd need to justify his actions to the daughter of the man who had set all of it in motion in the _first_ _place_.

He would prove her wrong, if only she allowed him to speak. But he had to remember to keep his anger in check; if he could play on her sense of justice, it would get him further.

Khan slowly turned to face her, noticing the fresh tear tracks on her cheeks. He held back a smile, knowing that this would be easier than he thought. Carol Marcus had intelligence and a strong sense of justice, but first and foremost she had _heart_.

He would rip that heart out of her chest and make it his own, before replacing it and sealing up the wound. There was more than one type of power, after all.

"Will you allow me to explain? Please?" He asked, hoping that the show of humility would satisfy her.

Carol glared at him and glanced over his shoulder out the window, checking to see if Dr. McCoy or his nurses were making rounds nearby. Eventually she nodded, her steely blue eyes fixed on his.

"I questioned you about your interest in my crew's and my own…_welfare_ out of concern, not out of spite. You must understand my position," Khan began, his tone imploring. "I still care about my own fate, but that concern has always been secondary to the fate of my crew. I am the only awake, aware member of my race. There are seventy-three of us left in total."

"You are all still humans," Carol argued back, "albeit engineered humans."

Khan shook his head. "We will have to agree to disagree on that point. We look the same as regular humans, but our differences far outstrip our similarities. But I digress; I am not only the captain and friend of my crew, but it is also my responsibility to protect and preserve our kind. "

"And you turn to murder to do so?" Carol cut in. "Haven't you learned anything from history? But I suppose you _were_ one of those bad examples, weren't you, Khan?"

Khan laughed and shook his head, more out of exasperation than amusement. Did everyone from the twenty-third century really believe that his regime had supported deliberate genocide? He would have to address that concern later, once he had his bearings.

"History is always written by the victors," Khan replied dispassionately. "But the fact is, Dr. _Marcus_, I was perfectly content to sleep until _your_ father woke me up, holding my friends' lives ransom to engineer a far bloodier war than anything I ever attempted."

Carol paled at the reminder of her father's actions, avoiding his eyes for the first time since he started speaking.

"He threated to kill them one by one to ensure my cooperation," Khan continued, the helpless rage he had felt a little over a year ago finding its way back into his voice. "And I _did_ cooperate, Dr. Marcus, until it became clear to me that he would execute us all when we had served our purpose anyway."

"Then your issue was with him, not all of Starfleet." Carol felt sick at the reminder of her father's crimes. She had barely talked to anyone about it, and it was darkly ironic that the first completely honest conversation she had after his death was with his murderer.

"I thought so too, Dr. Marcus," Khan sighed, "until he let me think they were dead. And then your mighty Captain Kirk appeared on Kronos – " Khan noted how Carol tensed at his slight mockery " – preaching _justice_ for my actions, as if he knew what his own commanding officer had ordered. As if we would ever be treated fairly once he brought us back to Earth."

"And crashing a starship into San Francisco? Can you justify that, too?"

"I should not have to justify anything to Starfleet, especially to you," Khan sneered. "But I thought that Commander Spock had just disabled my ship by detonating my entire crew. I set the destination for Starfleet Headquarters in response, not that it is any consolation. But the civilian deaths were…regrettable."

"Regrettable," Carol responded drily.

"Yes. But if someone murdered your entire family, your entire _species_, how would you react?"

"Not well," Carol admitted, looking him in the eyes again. "But you killed what was left of my family, and I spoke for you."

"_Why_?" The question that had been haunting him burst from him of its own accord at her confession. "You would not help us out of _charity_. What is it that you…"

"Want?" Carol guessed, looking resigned and older than her years. "Is that it? You think that I want to use you and your family like my father did, like some of the other admirals do? That I can't do the right thing because of whose daughter I am?"

Khan stepped towards her and she backed up into the wall as he approached, some of the old wariness in her eyes, but also a hint of something…else.

_No, _he thought, _it can't be_.

He leaned forward and reached up, running his fingers through her soft blond hair. Carol's breath was fast and uneven, and her eyes never left his own.

"And visiting me here, watching me from the doorway?" Khan murmured, his voice husky. "Are you entirely sure of what motivated that?"

The look in her eyes and her silence was an answer enough. _Checkmate_.

He felt some of his old power and confidence return; he would have her heart sooner than he thought. Khan leaned down slowly, preparing to bush his lips against hers, when his sensitive ears picked up the sound of footsteps from the hall.

Quickly and gracefully, he moved back to the bed and feigned sleep, trying to slow his breathing enough to make it look convincing. Carol stood frozen where he had left her as McCoy entered the room, jumping in surprise as he saw her.

"What are you doing in here, sweetheart? This is the last place I expected to run into you."

"I – I'm sorry, Doctor, I just had to make sure –"

"That he was harmless for yourself? I get it, but you shouldn't be here alone with him. He can't hurt you _physically_, but…I still don't trust that son of a bitch."

"Oh, neither do I, doctor. I've seen enough here," Carol said firmly, and Khan smirked inwardly at the lie. She would be back, whether she knew it now or not.

"Yeah, well, I gotta prep this poor bastard for tomorrow, drag him back into shape. Some scientists are coming aboard to run a few tests on his super-blood. I told them it was too soon, but…" McCoy sighed in exasperation, not wanting to see his patient harmed despite his personal dislike of the man. "I saw Kirk a few minutes ago, and I think he was looking for you. Big date tonight?"

Carol laughed, but Khan could pick up a slight nervous edge to her voice. "Maybe so! Well, I'll leave you to your patient, doctor."

As she left and McCoy began his work, Khan considered the new array of possibilities in front of him. Both Carol's reactions and McCoy's words indicated that there would soon be another pawn on his chessboard – Captain James T. Kirk, the protector and captor of his crew.

If he could make the admiral's daughter his own, and turn her affections away from her captain, he could destroy Kirk more effectively than he could with any physical blow. Only one question remained: were Kirk's feelings genuine? Khan intended to find out.

_Well Kirk_, Khan gloated silently, _they say that revenge is a dish best served cold. And it is __**cold**__ in space!_

* * *

_a/n:_ Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and feedback! I think I've responded to all the registered users, but I'm also very grateful for guest reviews, they help me so much when writing the next chapter.

I sort of re-worked Khan's iconic line from _The Wrath of Khan _at the end of this chapter, with him vowing revenge on Kirk in a different situation, because how could I not? That line is epic in so many ways, and it inspired the idea for this fic. _The Wrath of Khan_ was an amazing movie, and I feel that Ricardo Montablan's Khan was played somewhat differently than Cumberbatch's, but I want to use elements of both portrayals in this story.

The last time I posted this chapter it didn't show up? I hope it works now.


	4. An Unexpected Comfort

Chapter Four – An Unexpected Comfort

Carol smiled back at Kirk from across the table, the candlelight casting a soft glow over the room. He was talking excitedly about the _Enterprise's _potential upcoming five-year mission, sounding like a new recruit again with his entire future ahead of him and whose dreams would all inevitably come true.

She found it refreshing to hear some optimism after the events of the last few months and especially after that day's encounter…

_Don't think about him_, Carol reminded herself before her mind got caught again in the loop it had been in since that afternoon. _Tonight is about Jim and me._

And truthfully, Carol was impressed. The _Enterprise_ had touched down earlier that day, and Kirk had found her shortly after her unsettling encounter with Khan, whisking her off with little preamble to one of the nicest hidden gems in San Francisco.

The food was delicious, and the candlelight and view of the park beyond gave the entire experience an intimate and romantic air. What was even more gratifying was the realization that Jim Kirk did not take just _any_ girl out on a nice date – at least, Carol got the impression that he never used to.

_What changed? _She wondered. _Would he have done this if he met me before, or only now after…recent events?_

With that innocent-enough question, Carol was vexed to find that her mind wandered once more back to _him_. Khan had fired on the _Enterprise_ three months ago, shutting down the ship's warp core as a result. Kirk had sacrificed his life to save everyone on board, including her. While Carol knew that there was probably always greatness in Kirk, she wondered how much his brush with death and the aftermath of Khan's rampage had changed him.

Was he becoming more serious now, living life more fully because of the new knowledge of his mortality? Carol knew that the changes in Kirk were not only due to his feelings for her, and it would be foolish to assume otherwise.

Regardless, he now looked at her with undivided attention and admiration, and Carol found it hard not to drown in those blue eyes. Kirk's gaze was warm and trusting, and so different from…_his_.

She mentally slapped herself at her lapse, but once the comparison entered her mind it was hard to simply dismiss it. Khan's gaze had been icy and emotionless that afternoon, with flashes of anger and desperation moving across his face as he had questioned her.

Carol knew that was to be expected from a man in his situation, and while it still disturbed her, she was not nearly as bothered by it as by what she had seen in his eyes at the end of their conversation.

When he had approached her, and had run his fingers gently through her hair, there had been calculation in his expression, as always. But Carol had also seen the same fiery passion that Kirk sometimes exuded when he looked at her, and hints of something akin to…gratitude.

She was certain that most of it was a part of his act, but she had a gut feeling that some of his vulnerability was unintentional.

It would have been far easier for Carol to dismiss Khan as a monster and to gradually forget about his miserable existence if he didn't show so many signs of humanity that she could relate to.

His explanation for his murderous actions still ran through her mind; she had refused to hear to his excuses at first due to her anger, but once she had listed her grievances, she was more willing to listen to what he had to say. Everything else had been taken from him because of her father, and to a large extent herself – she felt that he should at least be allowed his words.

His replies had been full of excuses and dismissal of the destruction he had callously caused, but the scary part was, Carol could understand his motivations for some of what he did. His crew and family – the people that he believed to be the remainder of his _species_, despite Carol's insistence that they were all human – had been used as bargaining chips to manipulate and control him. Carol did not doubt Khan's devotion to the safety of his people, especially after he had allowed himself to basically be enslaved again in order to protect them.

She tried to make conversation with Kirk as convincingly as possible, but in reality she was only half-there. She could not help but recall Bones's words in Khan's makeshift cell earlier that day – tomorrow, a group of scientists would come aboard to run tests on him, whether he was ready or not.

The longer she thought about it, the more sick it made her feel. Had they truly made the right decision?

As they finished dinner, and Kirk leaned down to kiss her, Carol could not help but compare it to the kiss that she had almost received earlier that day from her enemy. Anger burned alongside her unease; Khan's presumption had all but ruined her evening with Kirk, an evening that she had not yet expected to have.

_How dare he think that I can be swayed so easily,_ Carol fumed. _As if I could even be attracted to him at all after what he's done…_

Although her indignation and concern for him warred in her mind, both feelings pointed her clearly in one direction: she had to find a way to see him again, and soon.

* * *

He would crush their skulls _slowly_, after he killed everyone they loved before their eyes. He would reduce the _Enterprise_ to shrapnel after giving Kirk a lesson on far more effective beating than he had ever received from the so-called _Captain_. After he escaped with his people, he would return to Starfleet Headquarters and wreak such havoc that the _USS Vengeance _crash would seem like a _pleasant memory_ in comparison.

At least, Khan _would_ have done those things if he could summon the strength to stand, and if the wretched instrument of torture was not still fixed along his spine.

The scientists employed by the Federation had come aboard earlier that day bearing the equipment necessary for their tests and a cold, clinical resolve. They had been mostly human, as Earth was especially interested in his genetically-enhanced blood and healing abilities, but there had been a few Vulcans as well.

Khan had committed each and every one of their faces to memory as he looked at them, silently vowing to find them wherever they may go. He had felt a grim satisfaction upon seeing their poorly-disguised fear, a fear that seemed logical now but was really superfluous in the end.

_None of you are safe. I will hunt you all to the ends of the universe for this once I am free, and pick you off one by one._

If they were only ever to run tests on him, then Khan could find it in his heart to forgive and grant them all quick deaths. He knew that he was considered a criminal to them, and he could be understanding, after all. But he knew that if things had turned out slightly differently, if _she _hadn't spoken for him, they would be running the same experiments on all seventy-two of his people without hesitation or remorse.

And _that_ was something that Khan could never forgive.

They had taken blood samples for research and the production of a serum, which he could not really complain about, as his platelets regenerated so quickly. But afterwards, one of the scientists prepared a syringe of dark liquid, injecting it into his arm before Dr. McCoy succeeded in sending them away almost an hour later.

The pain that the toxin had caused…was not quite something that Khan had experienced before. He was a force of nature in battle, engineered to overcome exhaustion and pain from injury, whether it was from broken bones, open wounds, or blasts from energy weapons. He had been trained to resist torture and interrogation in his youth, a skill that he was happy had served him well during his recent three-month captivity.

Khan was never told specifically what was in the injection, but he got the impression that the poison was strong enough to kill a normal human many times over. The researchers had mechanically made observations and taken measurements as he writhed against the restraints, screaming at and pleading with people from his former life who were all either frozen or long dead, but seemed to be present nonetheless.

He knew that Dr. McCoy must have sedated him at some point, because when he woke up again, the room was empty and dark and the restraints were gone.

As Khan thought about how his people would have all been subjected to this, and whatever else was to come, he could not help but feel a slight and unwelcome sense of gratitude to Kirk for keeping them safe. He knew that he would still have to kill the captain and destroy his ship eventually in order to free his friends, but he would try to make his death relatively quick and painless.

It would be cruel enough, after all, for him to lose the woman he desired to his worst enemy.

And of course, he was unable to overlook the contribution of his people's unlikely spokeswoman, Dr. Carol Marcus. He had not yet decided on what her fate would be when he was finished with her, but he knew that it would be very different from Kirk's.

Khan's nerves still blazed with pain, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep, but he pushed himself to remain focused and alert as he considered his unwitting pawn. _She will be back_, he told himself as he tried to stretch his aching muscles. _Our last encounter was far from final._

She had not behaved quite how he anticipated. Khan knew that she was strong, but he had never expected her to overcome her fear of him so quickly, or to turn the tables on him, compelling him to justify his actions. His need to make her understand unnerved him; he had always accepted what he was, and whatever course of action he found necessary to take. He had never cared what anyone thought of him before, especially the daughter of an enemy.

Khan dismissed his unease, blaming his unusual reaction to her on his current situation. _It will not matter in the end_, he tried to reassure himself._ I'll use her to get to Kirk, and once I am free, I will no longer have to justify anything._

He smiled slightly as he thought about the events that would inevitably unfold. Nobody knew the full extent of the preparations that Admiral Marcus had made for war besides him. They would need his knowledge again soon, and when they did, the games could truly begin. And of course, his future would be woven even more tightly with Dr. Marcus's.

Although his mind spun with plans and fantasies of revenge against Starfleet, he could not help but think about how soft her skin had felt against his, her warmth, and the look in her eyes as he had leaned down to kiss her. She had been the one beacon of light in an otherwise dark and monotonous few months. He wondered when he would see her again.

Noticing his strange new train of thought, Khan shook his head, deciding that he needed more rest.

_What is happening to me?_

* * *

Slipping past the nurses as they changed shifts had been easy enough, especially for someone with a high rank and the ability to hack into the data banks to find their schedules. Carol was surprised to see a general lack of security guards in medical, despite the _Enterprise's_ devious new guest. She supposed that the device in his spine prevented a lot of the trouble that he could normally cause, however, and that the ship's computer would inform the bridge if Khan tried anything that the device did not catch.

She felt as if she was doing something wrong by slipping off to see him, even though she had only the best of intentions. By checking up on him after his experiments, she would ensure that Starfleet was not doing anything too ruthless and immoral, and inadvertently continuing what her father had started.

Even if she was unable to do anything to stop it, she still needed to know. She only hoped that her suspicions were wrong.

And of course, she needed to tell him her thoughts on that unexpected and…_unwelcome_ beginning of a kiss.

She peered into the dim room, seeing Khan sitting up on the bed but slightly hunched over, as if he was tired. He looked up a second later in her direction, though Carol could not fully see his expression in the darkness. She nodded once at him through the window regardless, certain that he could see her with his enhanced vision.

Carol quickly entered the security code beside the door, smiling slightly as the locks clicked open and the system beeped in recognition. She would not be caught off guard by Khan this time – she knew that he was awake, and that any violence, no matter how minor, would only cause him more pain.

She cautiously stepped into the room, closing the door carefully behind her and leaving the lights off. Now that she was closer, she could see Khan's face clearly – he looked almost as stoic as always, but there was a small smile forming on his lips.

"Dr. Marcus," Khan murmured, "I was expecting to see you again, but not quite so soon."

Carol stayed silent at first, studying him to make sure that he was all right. To any uninterested viewer, she supposed that he would have seemed fine. He was able to sit and make wise remarks, after all. But as Carol looked closer, she could tell that he had been injured somehow. His posture, which had always been flawless before, was now hunched and his breathing was slightly ragged, as if he was in pain.

"Are you here to kill me, Dr. Marcus?" Khan drawled, a quiet mockery in his voice.

Carol approached slowly as he watched her, sitting down on the bed beside him on an impulse. Khan laughed, looking at her in surprise. "I didn't think we were ready for _that_ just yet, my dear. But if you insist…"

Carol hit him lightly on the arm, noticing how he winced slightly before hiding his reaction behind his amused mask once again. _He must really feel unwell, if something like that hurts him._

"Stop it," she responded, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "I don't know why I'm here. I mean, I do know, but – "

" - But your reason doesn't make as much sense as you had hoped," Khan finished for her. "Am I correct?"

"You're right, Khan," Carol admitted. "I knew that they were testing your blood today, and it makes no sense to me now, but I thought that I should…"

Her voice trailed off and Khan remained silent for a moment, processing her words. He let the silence build before he responded, a hint of wonder in his otherwise matter-of-fact tone.

"You wanted to check on me, to see if I was all right?"

Carol opened her mouth to deny his completely correct assessment before Khan cut her off again, dark amusement in his voice. "_Or_ did you come here to gloat and revel in my supposed misery, which you undoubtedly think that I deserve?"

Carol huffed angrily. Khan was not making this any easier, though she supposed that was to be expected from a man who loved mind games.

"You _do_ deserve it," she snapped. "You are a monster. But _I'm_ not enough of a monster to enjoy anyone's suffering, even yours."

"Who said that I was suffering, Dr. Marcus?" Khan replied, his tone dangerous.

Carol knew that Khan would never willingly admit to being in pain because he was so afraid of appearing weak. She supposed that it was partly a guy thing, and mostly because he wanted to hold onto whatever pride he had left in his situation. Carol couldn't blame him for that, but she needed to know what was happening to him.

"Tell me what tests they ran today, Khan," Carol said authoritatively, knowing that he would have to reply to a direct command. "That's an order."

Khan growled and grabbed her chin roughly, turning her face towards his own. "Very well, Dr. _Marcus_," he hissed, his voice deadly, his anger no doubt fueled by the warning from the device. "They just took blood samples at first, and ran a few tests on those, but I was not sure exactly what tests. Then they prepared a syringe and injected poison into my veins, taking notes as I twitched and hallucinated. I _believe_ that they left after that, but I am not completely certain. Is that _specific_ enough for you, doctor?"

If Carol did not know better, she would have been terrified at that moment. Khan's face was murderous, and the last time she had seen him so angry was the second before he had crushed her father's skull. But instead of fear, she only felt regret for pushing him so far, for taking what little control he had left by her impatient order.

And of course, she regretted being part of an organization that tortured a helpless prisoner, no matter what he had done.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, pushing back her tears. "I'm so sorry, Khan."

Khan let go of her chin and looked away, his anger partly diffused by her apology.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said after a pause, his voice distant. "You spoke for my crew. If it was not for your words, they would all be test subjects right now. I owe you a debt."

"Is there anything I can do?" Carol asked, helpless at his resignation. "Anything that would make it better?"

Khan smirked playfully. "You could free me. I'm sure that you are intelligent enough to find a way."

"Um…no," Carol laughed uneasily. "Sorry, but I'm not willing to commit treason over you, Khan."

"I understand," he replied in mock seriousness. "How about this, instead?"

He leaned down, and though Carol knew what he was about to do, she didn't stop him. He kissed her hesitantly at first, as if he was just learning how again after three hundred years without a woman. Carol knew that she needed to stop and push him away, and that she was betraying Kirk, but she lost the will to resist once his lips met hers. She didn't _intend_ to respond, but her body refused to listen to the wiser part of her mind.

She kissed him back hungrily, as if she had been drowning her entire life and he was her first breath of air. Khan moaned and pulled her into his lap, one hand tangled in her hair, the other running down her back. She bit his lip playfully and he growled, breaking the kiss to teasingly place a line of kisses and bites down her neck.

Carol gasped at his attentions, lost in the pleasure of his kisses and his hands exploring her body until she felt one hand move slowly up her skirt along her inner thigh. She froze, feeling as if a bucket of cold water had just been thrown over her. _What am I __**doing**__?_

Her body urged her forward, but as her mind cleared again, Carol knew that she was not ready to make such a big mistake. _He tried to kill everyone I care about_, she reminded herself, _and I can't do this to Jim._

Khan paused, noticing her hesitance, and Carol slowly pulled away, climbing off of his lap and straightening her dress as he watched silently.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "but I can't do this. Not with you."

Khan chuckled bitterly, but his expression was unnervingly calm. "I understand. You should run along, Carol. Kirk is no doubt waiting for you."

An unexpected feeling tugged at her heart at his words, pain and affection mingling together. _It's the only time he's called me by my first name_, she realized, giving him a lingering look before turning to leave. She paused by the door, feeling his eyes on her back.

"Goodnight, Khan," she whispered, wishing that things had gone differently.

"Goodnight, Carol," he responded evenly, but she could hear his smile in his voice. "See you later."

Despite her reservations, her heart was considerably lighter as she walked down the hall.

* * *

The ruins of Kronos were uninhabited once again, save for the hundreds of new bodies that littered the barren terrain. A Klingon pilot stared unseeing out of his ship, his body stiff in death and his empty eyes full of secrets that were forever lost. Members of his crew were either sprawled lifelessly inside of his ship, or contorted in their final agonized poses outside near the bodies of the patrol squad that had gone missing months earlier.

If one cared to check the ship's computer, he or she would see that a transmission had been sent, a message that marked the beginning of a war.

* * *

_a/n_: Well, there was the first kiss…I hope it met everyone's expectations! This couple is so much fun to write. Carol is in a bit of a dilemma with these two boys, but I don't think she will give in so easily to our favorite augment just yet. ;)

Thanks to all my subscribers and reviewers! I'm so glad this story is getting attention, reviews are like candy and sunshine to me. :)


	5. Lost in Translation

Chapter Five – Lost in Translation

Kirk re-read a section of Bones's medical report for the fourth time, drumming his fingers rhythmically against the desk. The more he read, the more agitated he became, and now he suspected that there would be a migraine in his near future for his troubles.

He stood suddenly and pushed the report across the desk in exasperation at his first officer, walking over to the cabinet to pour himself a stiff drink.

"Captain, I do not believe that alcohol will help you deicide on a more reasonable course of action," Spock lectured smoothly, picking up the PADD to skim its contents. "On the matter of Khan, we must possess our full faculties in order to make logical decisions."

"I'm not calm enough to think logically. Which is exactly why a drink or two is necessary, Spock," Kirk shot back irritably, his hands shaking slightly as he uncapped a bottle of scotch, though he was not sure what emotion triggered it. Anger at what was happening on his own ship? A sense of guilt over his responsibility in this entire mess? Fear over what Starfleet was capable of?

"Read it for yourself," Kirk continued animatedly, taking a swig of his drink. "The Admirals said that they wanted to conduct some _basic tests_ in order to develop treatments for the victims in San Francisco. In what language does outright torture equate to _basic tests_?"

Spock looked over Dr. McCoy's notes dispassionately at first, becoming more and more unsettled as he read.

_Attn: James T. Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise_

_Captain,_

_I am writing to inform you of the ongoing status of the prisoner Khan Noonien Singh, currently a patient aboard the Enterprise. Two weeks ago today, Mr. Singh consented to undergo a Vulcan Rehabilitation Treatment conducted on New Vulcan, as you are already aware. The treatment commenced shortly after his arrival on the planet, and should have been complete within three days, but due to health complications with the patient the procedure took nearly one week._

_The doctors who conducted the surgery informed me upon Mr. Singh's arrival on the Enterprise that his condition had indicated signs of torture: several fractured bones with signs of multiple deliberate breaks, dehydration, and early signs of starvation. Fortunately, Mr. Singh regained his usual ability to quickly heal once these concerns were addressed, and the procedure was a success._

_Since his arrival on the Enterprise, Mr. Singh had been eating and drinking with more regularity, and I have seen him doing exercises to preserve his fitness and muscle mass. Physically, he is healthier, but it is harder to determine his state of mind._

_My concern over the patient's mental state brings me to my next point: the series of tests that Federation scientists have been tasked to run on Mr. Singh._

_At this point, there have been three days of testing in a one-week span, the most I felt comfortable allowing as his doctor. Despite Mr. Singh's remarkable ability to heal and seemingly shrug off injury and pain, I believe that these experiments will soon begin to take a toll on his health._

_For the first series of tests on the patient's second day aboard the Enterprise, the researchers began by drawing several pints of blood for further experimentation, which I believe posed little risk his health. Afterwards, however, I soon became aware that Mr. Singh was injected with a neurotoxin that is lethal to ordinary humans and most mammals. I assume that the researchers wanted to study the durability of his nervous system. _

_Despite the fact that he received a concentrated dose, several times more than the amount sufficient to kill any human or related species, Mr. Singh recovered within eight hours. He does not appear to have any lasting nervous system damage at this point in time._

_I supervised the second series of tests more closely as a result, and felt that I had to step in and send the researchers away before their work was complete. They made several deep lacerations on the patient's torso to determine his rate of healing compared to 'typical' humans and broke two fingers. The cuts healed within an hour and the bones mended within four hours after I reset them._

_The third and most recent set of tests explored Mr. Singh's neurology and seizure threshold. I stepped in before the researchers could induce a generalized seizure. The measurements and amount of electricity used indicate, again, that Mr. Singh can tolerate far more damage than any 'ordinary' human._

_Despite the lack of any lasting physical damage so far, however, this unethical experimentation is likely taking a toll on the patient psychologically. Mr. Singh usually appears calm and focused, even when he is evidently in pain. His experience in combat situations prior to cryogenic sleep undoubtedly helps him remain balanced even in the most stressful situations. This does not mean, however, that repeatedly being helpless and at the mercy of researchers will not induce Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or further his distrust of humans._

_Captain, I'm aware that this knowledge puts you in a difficult position: the Federation will want to research Mr. Singh regardless of ethical objections, and if they feel that they are not getting enough valuable data, the decision will be taken out of your hands. Still, I believe that this knowledge is essential for making a correct decision._

_Leonard McCoy, M.D._

As Spock frowned, lost in thought, Kirk knocked back the rest of his scotch, looking at McCoy's report in disgust. "You _see_, Spock? No matter what he deserves or doesn't deserve, how can I condone torture on my ship?"

"This situation does present an ethical conundrum, Captain," Spock allowed. "As well as a political one."

As Spock pondered the implications of the report, his mind latched onto Kirk's particular word choice: 'deserved'. What _did_ Khan deserve?

Now that his Captain and friend was safe again, brought back from a clinical death by Khan's blood, Spock was relieved to note that he was once again able to regard the Augment with detachment. The rage with which he had pursued and beaten Khan after Kirk's death still disturbed him. If Uhura's voice had not broken through his fury, promising a means to save Kirk, Spock knew that he would have executed a man without a trial.

Morally, he would have been no better than Marcus, or Khan himself.

'_Deserved'_ – regardless of what Khan deserved, and of how many people he had killed, the Federation was supposed to represent advancement. Reenacting the tortures of the Middle Ages and the ruthlessness of the Eugenics Wars _used_ to be against Starfleet protocol. Now, Spock was not as certain about what the organization he served represented.

Spock felt Jim's eyes on him and knew that the Captain was hoping he would present a simple solution to Khan's mistreatment that would benefit everyone. Unfortunately, he had no such answer to give.

"What should I do, Spock?" Kirk asked quietly, setting the glass down and pacing over to the window.

"I am unsure, Captain," he replied after a pause, watching Kirk's shoulders tense in frustration. "If you and Dr. McCoy do not allow the researchers to gather all of the data they request, I suspect that the Federation will demand Khan back. I am sure that they would also re-determine his crew's fate, and not to their benefit."

"Lab rats," Kirk muttered absently, gazing far into the distance. "This isn't the Starfleet that I enlisted in."

"In that, Jim, we are in full agreement."

Kirk turned abruptly, a sudden idea forming in his mind. "Bones's report indicated that they tortured him before all of this. Why would they do that, Spock? I mean, he was in bad shape when we first saw him, and he killed a lot of officers, but…it seems gratuitous. Unless…"

"Unless they suspected he had information that they desperately wanted," Spock finished slowly, catching onto Kirk's line of thought.

"Son of a bitch," Kirk muttered in disbelief. "Do you think he told them? We have to find out what he knows, and soon."

"Especially if it involves the workings of Starfleet, which I suspect that it does," Spock added.

Kirk sighed in exasperation. "This bastard will be the death of me." In response to his first officer's startled look, he smirked wryly.

"_Again_."

* * *

Carol stood hesitantly, anxious about walking for the first time without the leg brace. She took a couple of careful steps, pleased to note that there was no discomfort.

"How does it feel?" Bones asked intently.

"Great," Carol exclaimed, excited that the last visual reminder of the horrors of three months ago was gone. "It feels…good as new."

"Well, that's a relief," Bones muttered, more to himself than to her. "At least I can help _some _of my patients."

Carol frowned, wondering what he was referring to, before noticing his dark glance in a certain direction down the hall. _Well, that explains it_, she realized with a pang of sympathy. She had some unresolved issues with the patient in question herself.

She had not seen Khan since he had kissed her nearly a week ago. _And I kissed him back_, she reminded herself, guilt turning her stomach as she thought about Kirk.

_Khan_ had initiated the kiss, of course, and Carol allowed him to because…because she felt sorry for him. At least, that was what she kept telling herself.

She determinedly ignored the fact that it was the best kiss of her life.

"You're referring to the experiments that they're conducting on Khan?" Carol asked Bones quietly, sympathetic to his plight. As a doctor, he naturally had the desire to help his patients, even patients that he disliked. She wondered how much the Federation scientists were throwing their weight around.

Bones looked at her carefully, nodding. "They're…not nice experiments, Carol. Even if he deserves it…it's not ethical. I have the authority to stop them, on this ship…but that's just the issue. If they complain to their bosses, Khan _and_ his crew will be taken away into a worse situation."

Carol shuddered, remembering Khan's forced description of his first day as a lab rat. She _wanted_ to despise him as much as others thought she did, but how could she, when the man had thrown away any chance that he had at escape to protect his crew from a terrible fate?

"I don't think he deserves it," Carol murmured, and Bones looked at her in barely-disguised shock.

"You're a forgiving person, then," he said softly.

"I have to be," she whispered, thinking of her father firing on the _Enterprise_, ready and willing to kill its entire crew for his own flawed ideals.

For the past week, Carol had tried to brainstorm a way to help improve Khan's situation, but her normal tasks and lingering reservations about the kiss had occupied her time and kept her away.

The _Enterprise _was en route to Ceti Alpha VI, a remote planet in Federation space that was experiencing unexpected atmospheric changes. Carol had primed all of their weapons systems over the past week, in addition to gathering as much data as possible about the uninhabited system of planets. She hoped that her upgrades to the _Enterprise's_ defenses were unnecessary, but in current times, it was impossible to take safety for granted.

The ship rocked suddenly, and Carol barely kept her balance, grabbing on to the edge of the examining table. Medical equipment that wasn't fixed to the floor or walls slid across the room.

"What the hell is this?" Bones exclaimed nervously, listening for the alarms that preceded an attack.

The room shook again, more violently this time, and Carol's heart pounded in anticipation. She was hearing none of the ship-wide warnings that indicated an enemy, and the territory was supposed to be uninhabited…

The intercoms cracked with static before Carol heard a familiar and welcome voice.

"_This is Captain Jim Kirk. First of all, everyone relax, we're __**not**__ being fired on. We encountered an electrical storm as we dropped out of warp. We have every reason to believe that these storms are natural phenomena on Ceti Alpha VI based on our readings of the planet and not anomalies like…the storms from over a year ago._

_We're relying on auxiliary power now and we have to land to make repairs. Mr. Scott in engineering estimates that the ship should be fully functional again within an hour. Just taking precautions. Kirk out."_

Carol smiled shakily and Bones breathed a sigh of relief. She said her goodbyes and strode to the bridge, aware that she would be needed soon since she had studied the environment of Ceti Alpha VI in the most detail of anyone besides Commander Spock.

She would worry about Khan later.

* * *

Kirk was still tense and on-edge despite his reassuring message to his crew. He was fairly sure that _something_ like this would have happened eventually during the survey of Ceti Alpha VI, but still, it was not a promising start to a routine mission.

He turned to Uhura. "Lieutenant, please contact Starfleet, let them know that we are experiencing some technical difficulties due to the atmosphere but we should be back in the air soon."

"Yes, Captain."

He paged Scotty in engineering to request another status update. The thrusters were damaged due to the electricity from the nearby nebula, and Scotty had to ensure that the warp core and related systems were still safe to fly with.

Kirk sighed, agitated, before he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Captain, I must admit that this situation unsettled me at first as well, due to the reminder of Nero's attack a year ago. But we have every reason to believe that this is a normal setback based on our readings."

"Thank you, Mr. Spock." Kirk relaxed again, realizing that he was still in battle-mode from his last major mission months ago. _It's not like we're going to get into a firefight every time we go on a mission_, he tried to reassure himself.

The door to the bridge slid open and Carol paused at the threshold. "Permission to come aboard the bridge?"

Kirk grinned, glad to see her face. "Granted, Dr. Marcus."

She smiled warmly back as she stepped inside, but her expression quickly became businesslike. "Captain, we really should discuss these sudden changes in Ceti Alpha VI's environment in more detail. Based on our current readings, in the future the planet could potentially experience more– "

Sulu's sudden warning cut her off. "Captain, there are three ships entering the atmosphere – "

Kirk's heart pounded, and his recent state of relaxation was gone in an instant. "What type, Mr. Sulu? This region was supposed to be uninhabited!"

Sulu looked back at him, and Kirk saw his confusion and fear mirrored in his eyes. "Klingon vessels, sir."

"Full shields, use as much power as we have available."

"Yes, sir."

Kirk stared at the screen transfixed as the ships approached and circled the _Enterprise, _stopping to hover about thirty meters above it. He weighed his options; the _Enterprise_ was not fully repaired yet, and he risked damaging it further if he attempted an escape. He was not sure if it could withstand a firefight and then warp safely afterwards.

The Klingon ships were larger than the ones he had encountered on Kronos and more heavily armed, but still not a third of the size of the _Enterprise._ Normally, they would be no match individually, even though the _Enterprise_ was intended for exploration and not war.

_What are they doing in Federation space?_ Kirk wondered. Regardless, he knew that their intentions were far from friendly.

Uhura met his eyes. "Captain, they're hailing us."

"On screen."

A view of the interior of one of the warships and a Klingon whom Kirk assumed to be the head Captain came into focus.

The Klingon captain began to speak, his guttural speech slightly ahead of the mechanical voice of the _Enterprise's _translation software.

"As you can see, Captain, we have you surrounded. Our sensors tell us that your ship is operating on limited power. Surrender to us now unconditionally and I will not fire on your ship."

Kirk's ire rose but he forced it back, focused on remaining calm and calculating.

"This is an unlawful incursion into Federation space. Are you and your people aware that such an action could spark a war?"

The Klingon paused momentarily before responding, no doubt waiting on his own translation.

"War has already begun. The Klingon Empire is responding to a prior Federation incursion into _our _space. Hundreds of people have died on our home world and other territories, killed dishonorably by agents of the Federation and their biological weapons."

"Biological weapons…" Kirk began with confusion, noticing Carol lean forward suddenly out of the corner of his eye, horror on her face. "The Federation has authorized no such attacks. I have no knowledge of what you're referring to."

The Klingon captain smiled slowly, his feral grin promising bloodshed and vengeance.

"We owe Federation cowards no answers, but I will cure your ignorance regardless. Three months ago, a patrol squad was killed on our home world, presumably by your agents. We found weapons common to your people left behind."

Kirk's blood seemed to freeze at the revelation contained in the Captain's words, and he tried not to gape in disbelief.

"Of course we searched for our missing squad," the Captain continued, the first signs of what seemed to be anger entering his voice. "And the warriors assigned to recover them perished as well, but not honorably in battle."

Kirk noticed that Carol was watching the pilot intently, hanging on to his every word as if she was piecing a puzzle together.

"They died almost instantly upon reaching the surface of Qo'noS. When we were finally able to recover their corpses, we found that they died from radiation engineered specifically to kill our people. Other planets in our system have suffered as well. War is the only fitting response to this insult."

Kirk was still in shock, but he knew that he had to stall as the _Enterprise_ was repaired. "And how will taking us hostage help your cause?"

The captain sneered dismissively at Kirk's inquiry. "I have answered enough of your questions, human. Starting now, I am giving you ten minutes to surrender unconditionally or die."

The screen went blank and Kirk sat frozen for a moment. The silence on the bridge was deafening and he felt every pair of eyes locked on him.

Then, as if they each shared one mind, Kirk, Spock, and Carol met each other's eyes, speaking one word in tandem.

"_**Khan**_."

As if a spell had been broken, Kirk stood and moved into action.

"Keep those shields at full power, Mr. Sulu! And give me updates from Scotty on the warp core!"

"Yes, sir!"

Kirk rushed to the med bay, Spock and Carol right behind him. He supposed that now was as relevant a time as any to have those answers Starfleet so desperately wanted.

* * *

_a/n:_ Thanks so much for the follows/favs/reviews!

In regards to the "tests" done on Khan, I have little medical knowledge so please bear with me. I hope this chapter explained that aspect of my story a little more.

Sorry about the lack of Khan's POV or more Khan/Carol in this chapter, I had to get the larger plot moving. There is plenty more of that coming up next, I promise! :)


	6. Destroyer and Preserver

Chapter Six – Destroyer and Preserver

Khan looked up questioningly as Kirk charged into the room, with Spock and Carol following close behind him. The second the Klingon pilot had mentioned "Kronos" and "biological weapons," Carol knew that Khan must have played a major role in their creation.

_Undoubtedly for my father_, she realized, feeling a knife twist in her heart once again. She wasn't sure that Kirk wanted her here for this, but she knew that he would probably need her expertise.

And _she_ needed to hear this interrogation for far more personal reasons, as painful as they were.

"What. Have. You. _**Done**_?" Kirk ground out, glaring murderously at Khan. Despite the fact that Khan was the invincible super-soldier in the room, Carol was almost afraid for him.

Khan looked confused for a split second before his features smoothed out once again. "Captain, I don't know what you're referring to –"

"_**No**_. Not good enough, you bastard!" Kirk pulled Khan up by his collar and slammed him against the nearby wall in one swift movement. Khan permitted it, Carol realized, because he was probably not sure if the device allowed him to defend himself. Khan's eyes met hers and despite his blank expression, Carol could see a challenge in his icy gaze.

_It's the first time that he's seen Jim and I together since…since __**that**__ happened_, Carol realized, tensing as she wondered if Khan would use their encounter against her to taunt Kirk. If he still had any sense of self-preservation, Carol believed that he wouldn't.

At least, she _hoped_ that he wouldn't.

"Three Klingon ships have just surrounded the _Enterprise_, demanding our unconditional surrender," Spock supplied smoothly, his tone more measured than Kirk's, although his voice still carried a thread of urgency. "Their captain claims that biogenic weapons were used against their people on Kronos and their other territories. They are declaring war in response."

Khan looked from Spock to Kirk, his eyes flickering back to hers for a split second. His gaze was cold as he met the glares of the Captain and Commander, but when he looked at her, he seemed almost…apologetic.

"I didn't put them there, Commander, if that is what you are suggesting," Khan replied coolly, his voice still perfectly even.

"Tell me everything you know about those weapons," Kirk demanded, his anger only slightly calmed by Khan's denial. "And tell the _**truth**_."

Khan sighed softly in resignation and Kirk took a step back, giving the augment more space.

"The weapons contain a form of radiation that is designed specifically to kill Klingons in under a minute, though it is mostly harmless to other species. It is extremely deadly to Klingons even in microscopic amounts, and the range at which it is active can be controlled from a remote distance. They were designed to be used in the event that the Klingons began conquering Federation space."

"You designed them for Admiral Marcus?" Kirk asked quietly, aware that the disgraced officer's daughter was in the room.

"Yes," Khan replied simply, his voice oddly free of condemnation and spite.

"How is the radiation delivered?" Carol cut in, her intense gaze fixed on Khan. She had studied biological weapons in theory, and if she could promise the Klingons that they could be disarmed… perhaps they would be more willing to compromise.

_Extremely unlikely_, she realized.

"It can be delivered instantly in bombs or proton beams, or it can seep more slowly into the ecosystem and water supply. In every case, however, the Federation can control these devices from a distance after they are planted," Khan answered, holding her stare a bit longer than he should have. Kirk tensed as he looked between them, no doubt interpreting Khan's focus on Carol as a threat to her.

"You knew about this all along? Who else is involved?" Kirk snapped, breaking Khan and Carol's trance.

Khan's eyes narrowed at him before he answered. If Carol wasn't so mortified by the entire situation, she would have been darkly amused at the two Captains' eternal rivalry. They still fought even when it was a secret about what they were fighting _over_.

"I helped design them, and I was fairly certain that Marcus was preparing to test them, though I did not smuggle them onto Klingon worlds. Marcus must have had the support and funding of others in Starfleet for this project as well, but they probably were not aware of his full intentions. That is all I can tell you."

"Have you told anyone else, Mr. Singh?" Spock questioned, his voice light. "Your interrogators at Starfleet, perhaps?"

Kirk and Carol both glanced at Spock in surprise at his flippant question. Khan paled and tensed for a split second before he regained his usual composure. "No, Mr. Spock," he said quietly, his voice low. "I have not told anyone else."

Kirk sighed in exasperation, running a hand through his hair. "Even if we tell them what happened, I think they'll still want war, and there's no way in hell they'll just let us fly away from here."

"Captain, are you suggesting that we surrender?" Spock asked quickly, his distaste of that option clear in his voice.

"_**Hell no**_, Spock. If we do that, there's no way we'll ever be let free alive. But our ship is still crippled – we can barely maintain our shields. We don't have many…attractive options."

He looked back at Khan, and the augment smiled slowly, no doubt realizing the captain's intentions.

"Captain, I am only one man."

"You're only one _killing machine_. And your crewmembers' fates are at stake in this as well, as I'm sure you're aware."

Spock's eyes widened and Carol was able to guess what Kirk was suggesting. "Captain, I must object –" the Vulcan began, shocked at Kirk's proposal to allow Khan any kind of weapon, let alone a small arsenal.

"We have no other _choice_, Spock! We have five minutes left to surrender or die! And you saw what he did to those Klingons on Kronos…better them than us."

Carol frowned in confusion. "Can he even harm anyone at all? I thought the treatment prevented that."

Kirk smiled, and Carol thought that he looked a bit smug. "He can if I allow him to in certain situations. We didn't fill him in on too many details of the procedure because who knows how he'd manipulate that knowledge…" He looked back at Khan, smirking. "Sorry."

"A logical choice," Khan conceded. "But can you really trust me with weapons?"

"I don't trust you," Kirk shot back. "I trust Vulcan medical science. Are you in?"

Khan nodded once slowly. If his crew's lives were at stake, then he needed no further convincing. Also, even if he was being used as a tool by Kirk, he was still itching for a good fight. He had longed to destroy his captors and tormenters for weeks now, but the Vulcan device held off his vengeance. If the attacking Klingons gave him an outlet for his suppressed rage, he wasn't above utilizing it.

Kirk nodded back. "Dr. Marcus, I think we'll need to find him some suitable weapons."

* * *

Khan took a series of deep breaths and calmed his mind, mentally preparing himself for battle as he stood in the transporter room. Kirk had hurriedly explained the design of the Klingon ships and the estimated number of crewmembers after giving him a specific series of orders on what he could do and could not do with the weapons that Carol had provided him.

He smirked as he remembered the expression on Kirk's face as Carol had handed him a more powerful type of phaser and a beam cannon. His fingers had brushed against hers as her Captain and lover watched. Khan had allowed his eyes to roam her body, lingering on her curves and the blush on her cheeks. Kirk had looked _murderous_ – and Khan presumed that he didn't even know about the kiss yet.

_Well, Kirk,_ Khan mused. _I hope that your plan will be more of a success than your relationship._

He would not be beamed down immediately – Kirk's deception would draw the Klingons out, and when they were vulnerable, he would strike quickly and efficiently, aiming to disable first and only to kill as a last resort.

Khan was not happy about Kirk's morals interfering with his combat. He longed to engage his enemies to the death, to _truly_ fight. The humans feared and derided his savagery, but they overlooked the fact that he always got the job done.

His mind wandered back to _her_ until he felt the familiar energy surround him, transporting him to a strategic location outside of the ship.

_Stay safe, Carol Marcus._

* * *

As soon as Khan rematerialized on the outcropping behind the Klingon ships, he powered up his beam cannon, firing and hitting the underbelly of the one fighter still in the air. It spiraled to the ground not far from his hiding place, and was consumed in a bright column of flame the instant it crashed. Khan glanced appreciatively at the cannon as he readied the phaser; it was clearly much more powerful than the weapon he had used on Kronos, no doubt thanks to Carol's upgrades.

_There may be hope for you yet, my dear_, he thought as he fired into the ranks of Klingon soldiers, emerged from their ships to capture the "surrendering" Starfleet officers. The Klingons shouted instructions to each other in their language, returning his fire as Khan ducked and weaved, careful to only stun his attackers and not the _Enterprise's_ crew.

The remaining Klingons broke formation and charged at him from several directions, forced to contend with fire not only from Khan, but also from Kirk and his crew. Khan picked them off one by one, adrenaline coursing through his veins, fueling his euphoria. It had been so long since he had enjoyed a challenging fight.

He stumbled as an energy blast hit him directly in the shoulder, cutting through his armored vest like a knife through butter. Khan growled as his arm was consumed with a fiery pain, using his injury to feed his rage.

The remaining two ships took to the air, turning to unleash their payloads of weapons in his direction. Khan raised the beam cannon and took them out with an efficient series of blasts, satisfied beyond measure as he saw them fall, joining their doomed sister.

His satisfaction was short-lived, however – in the time that it took him to destroy the ships, the remaining Klingons on the ground had swarmed him, panicked at the loss of their transportation and eager to take vengeance for their fallen brothers.

Twenty of them? Thirty? Khan couldn't tell from such a close distance. He swung the cannon with one arm, feeling his injured shoulder pulse with agony, and fired wildly into the crowd with the phaser. Klingons fell to each side of him, stunned or disabled from broken limbs.

A fierce joy took hold of his senses – he was going to win this fight. He swung the cannon at two charging Klingons, knocking their weapons out of their hands and throwing them aside. Khan thought that he saw a movement in his peripheral vision, and spun to address the threat, stopping short as his midsection erupted in agony. He looked down and saw a bat'leth protruding from his stomach through his vest, its blades piercing cleanly through his back.

His attacker roared in victory as Khan struggled to stay on his feet, feeling ominous dark spots gather at the edges of his vision. Khan smiled slowly and savagely, feeling blood pool in his mouth. As the Klingon readied his knife, preparing to make the killing blow, Khan flipped the setting on his phaser from 'stun' to 'kill.'

It was over in less than a second, and soon his foe was no more. Khan sank to his knees, dropping his phaser and clutching the sword embedded in his stomach with one hand. The final conscious Klingon appeared in his blurred vision, stopping to stand before him, but Khan could barely perceive him over the buzzing in his ears and the veil of darkness swiftly moving over his eyes.

Then the Klingon was falling and so was he, down into a deep, dark pit of oblivion.

* * *

Carol sighed in relief as the remaining Klingons fell from shots fired by _Enterprise_ crewmembers. Kirk's improvised plan had been wildly successful, no doubt due in large part to Khan's battle prowess. The Klingon ships were destroyed and their crews were either stunned or dead – though Carol knew that the level of fatalities could have been far worse.

The only sounds that broke the silence now were the cries of pain from crewmembers that had been injured, and the Captain's and Dr. McCoy's shouted instructions.

Carol dropped her phaser, adrenaline still pumping through her veins. She knew how to use many forms of weapons from her training and studies, of course, but she had never used one in an actual _battle_. It had been chaos – blaster bolts in every direction and Klingons and her own crewmembers all shouting at once.

_How can Khan thrive off of fighting so much?_ She wondered as she remembered their unlikely savior, who should have been reporting back now that the fight was over.

She looked around for him, noting to her growing unease that she didn't see him anywhere.

_Where is he?_

"Dr. Marcus!"

Carol turned at the sound of Commander Spock's voice, her eyes widening as she saw the form slumped over his shoulders.

She ran up to them, her heart nearly leaping out of her chest. Khan's eyes were closed, and his face was so pale. As Spock set him carefully on the ground, Carol saw a bat'leth protruding from his stomach, a pool of blood already growing under the injury.

She knelt beside him without thinking, barely hearing Spock's request to watch him as he summoned Dr. McCoy.

"Khan, you were amazing," she whispered, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth. His shoulder was twisted and blackened, the skin seared off to the bone from a series of blaster bolts, and his chest rose and fell unevenly.

As if from a distance, Carol felt tears slipping down her cheeks, looking down in surprise as they fell.

_He won't die_, she reassured herself. _He was designed to survive much worse than this. But then with all of the experiments…_

Dread ran through her veins, taking on a life of its own. She looked up numbly as Dr. McCoy and his assistants arrived, pulling Khan from her unresisting arms and taking him back onto the ship on a stretcher.

Though she knew that she had no good reason to care what happened to him, she followed them anyway.

* * *

_a/n:_ I'm a monster and I must kick puppies as I write these cliffhangers, I know…but at least it was a quick update, amirite? :D

THANK YOU GUYS so much for the reviews and feedback! They were helpful as always.


	7. Honesty From Liars

**Chapter 7 – Honesty from Liars**

Carol sat hunched over in an uncomfortable chair in the med bay, fidgeting as she glanced over sources detailing known instances of biological warfare within the last century. She found it hard to absorb the words on the screen in front of her despite reading them for the fifth time, and the light from the PADD in addition to the harsh fluorescent lights in the waiting area were giving her a headache.

She wanted nothing more than to sleep, but there was too much accomplish as the _Enterprise_ orbited Ceti Alpha VI. Carol knew that her analysis of the weapons placed on Klingon planets would help Kirk determine his next move, but her mind refused to cooperate with her.

Every time she heard a door open from the operating room, a sudden new sound from the machines, or the raised voices of Bones and his staff, her heart beat furiously and any small amount of concentration she regained was gone in an instant.

She knew that Khan was the only patient inside. The rest of the crew's injuries, thankfully, were relatively minor, but his were life-threatening. She couldn't forget how the bat'leth had grotesquely pierced his body, or how the pool of blood underneath him kept growing.

He had been so pale, and his normally expressive face was so unresponsive – if Spock hadn't found him, he would have been dead within minutes. She had no idea what his condition was now, because she was not allowed inside while the doctors were working.

_If he hadn't been in this fight, _Carol wondered, _how many of our people would have died?_

She had a hunch that it would have been most of them – the Klingons were trained warriors, while a majority of the crew only had limited combat experience, if any at all. Khan had saved their lives, even if he found the idea distasteful.

_He fought to save his people_, Carol reminded herself, _not to save us._

Even so, she couldn't help but feel guilty on Starfleet's behalf. If Khan hadn't been experimented on, and mistreated while he was in custody before that, he would have been at his full strength. He had survived a starship crash three months ago – the Klingons shouldn't have been able to hurt him that badly.

Her guilt didn't stem solely from other people's actions, however, but also from her own. _Here I am safe while Khan could die, and the second he wakes up, I'll have to use him like everyone else. How am I any better than my father?_

She needed his knowledge and insight into the weapons he had created, and the sooner she had it, the sooner they could determine what to do next.

_After all, _she told herself firmly, _that's the only reason why I'm still here._

Despite Carol's need to convince herself of her own detachment, however, her excuses rang hollow. The weapons were barely on her mind at all; she could only think about the loyalty in Khan's voice when he spoke of his people, the way her entire body had shivered when his fingers brushed against hers, and the passion in his normally cold eyes as he leaned in to kiss her.

_Khan_, she swore to herself, _if you die, you unbelievable bastard, I'll find a way to revive you so I can kill you again myself._

"Dr. Marcus?"

Carol didn't realize that she had been staring off into space again until she heard a familiar voice to her right. She looked up and jumped slightly as she saw Commander Spock standing before her, studying her like she was a curious specimen under a microscope. Carol forced a smile on her face, but she was sure that it didn't reach her eyes.

Spock seemed to be making a habit of showing up and questioning her whenever she was the most vulnerable. Carol wondered why he was so reluctant to trust her in particular; it wasn't like she was the only one who had ever broken a rule on the _Enterprise_.

"You have been in the med bay for hours, Doctor. Am I correct in assuming that you are waiting to hear an update on Khan's condition?"

"Y-yes Commander," Carol replied unsteadily. His completely innocuous question still made her feel as if she was doing something wrong.

_But maybe I am_, she told herself. _Should I really be so concerned about my boyfriend's enemy, regardless of the fact that he saved us?_

"Then you should know that the bridge has just learned that Khan is stable again. He is resting, and Dr. McCoy expects him to make a full recovery."

Carol let out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding before remembering not to look too relieved around Spock.

"That's excellent news, Commander," she replied, trying to keep her tone detached and professional. "Khan knows more about the weapons he created than anyone else, even me. He'll be a valuable source of information in the future, whatever Starfleet chooses to do."

Spock inclined his head. "That is a perfectly logical reason for concern about his injuries. I admit that I shared the same thoughts upon seeing his…_condition_ after the battle. But I suspect that your concern for his health is not motivated solely by logic."

Carol's heart sped up and she struggled to keep her breathing even. _How the hell does he know about…__**that**__? Does he know that Khan and I…kissed? If so, has he told Jim?_

She reasoned that if Spock had somehow discovered that Khan kissed her, Kirk would find out about it soon. While some of Spock's perspectives were radically different from Kirk's, she knew that he was too loyal of a friend to keep such a betrayal secret.

But if he _didn't_ know, or if he was suggesting something else, she had nothing to lose by playing a fool.

"How did you reach such a conclusion, Commander, if I may ask?" Carol inquired, her voice light.

Spock paused for a moment, considering her. "My analysis is not based entirely on logic, but rather on what humans call a…'gut reaction,' if I am applying the term correctly."

"I think that you are…" Carol allowed, breathing more easily, relieved that he apparently had no hard evidence with which to condemn her.

Spock nodded in acknowledgement. "My knowledge of human behavior suggests that it would be unlikely for you to wait for so long for news of Khan's condition, with such single-minded focus, if your concern for his health was entirely tied to your work. I speculate that there is an emotional aspect involved as well. Are my assumptions correct, Dr. Marcus?"

Carol thought quickly, considering all possible outcomes of each of her hypothetical answers before replying. If she denied all of Spock's suspicions, he would know that she had something to hide. And, of course, Carol knew that it would be unwise to tell the whole truth, not only for the sake of her relationship, but also for the sake of Khan and his crew.

Carol sighed in resignation, carefully fine-tuning her act in her mind as she spoke. "You're correct, Commander Spock. It's true that I need Khan's knowledge to make an accurate analysis of the biogenic weapons, but I also feel…"

Carol trailed off, seemingly lost in thought, as if she was struggling to voice her emotions. Spock seemed, if anything, even more curious, though his expression remained carefully blank. She wondered how easy it would be to deceive him; after all, he was half-human himself, and not a complete stranger to the throes of emotion.

"No matter what he's done, he saved our lives today," Carol began slowly, hesitantly, though she was sure of her words internally. "And…I feel as if his situation is partially my fault."

Spock's eyebrows rose. "_Your fault_? I confess that I do not understand your answer. Please elaborate, Doctor."

"Yes, Commander," Carol began hesitantly, carefully parsing the truth. "I realize that this is illogical, but…I feel as if I should have known what my father was doing to Khan and his people. I had access to many of his projects, and if I had only suspected that something was wrong earlier, perhaps things would be…_different_. And now there's the issue of how Starfleet is currentlyusing Khan. I spoke up at the hearing to _prevent_ this exact outcome, but perhaps I just made things worse for him."

Spock frowned, considering her explanation. "Your guilt is illogical, that is true, but it is understandable. You cannot be expected to defend Khan and his crew from a powerful organization like Starfleet alone, but it is natural, I suppose, to wish that you could have done more."

Carol nodded appreciatively, but she was unwilling to let her guard down until she was certain that he accepted her words. As she looked back at him, however, she remembered something that she had not considered before – _Spock_ had been the one to find Khan and carry him back.

"Commander, if you don't mind me asking, _you_ were the one to bring Khan back after the battle, despite the fact that his actions…lead to the Captain's death. Was yourdecision still based entirely on logic?"

Spock paused, glancing at the room where Khan was recovering. "It was not," he responded slowly. "Of course, I knew that it was necessary to keep him alive. But beyond that, I could not ignore that he saved our lives, as you have already mentioned. Even if he did not do so willingly, his motives are irrelevant next to the outcome. I am…grateful."

Carol smiled slightly and Spock nodded, turning to leave. She finally breathed the sigh of relief that she had been holding in for most of the conversation.

* * *

" – is he doing now, doctor? Is he awake?"

"Not yet. He's stable now, though. How soon do you need that information?"

Voices filtered slowly into his consciousness along with the steady beep of the machines and the smell of antiseptic. The sensations were comforting in their familiarity but also jarring; he knew that he was back amongst his creators (_his masters, but not for long_) being healed after yet another brutal mission.

He thought that he had led his people to freedom, had actualized their infinite potential in a world full of insects and cowards, but perhaps it was just another morphine dream. He smiled bitterly, knowingly, feeling the prick of an IV in his arm.

_Just another dying dream_, he mused, resigned. _And now I wake again to a nightmare._

"Khan?"

A familiar voice broke his trance, gentle and whisper-soft. Intrigued, he opened his eyes, wincing slightly as the light streamed in. _Their_ voices were never kind.

A slow smile twisted his mouth as he saw her and Khan laughed weakly, joyfully, at his own error.

"Carol," he murmured gratefully, ashamed of his own weakness. Her eyes were red from crying and Khan wondered fleetingly if it was over him. He pushed himself to sit, ignoring the stab of pain in his stomach and the frantic beeping of the machines as his heart rate sped up.

"Please stop, Khan," Carol gasped, "you'll hurt yourself more."

He sighed and relaxed, lying back before the device reminded him to obey her order. Carol moved to the side of the bed and adjusted the controls so that he was propped up in a sitting position.

"I assume that we won," Khan began, trying to meet her eyes. "Is everyone…is my crew all right?"

"Everyone survived on our side, because of you," Carol answered, her voice hoarse. She pulled up a chair to the side of the bed, avoiding his eyes in favor of the machine measuring his vitals. "How do you feel now?"

"I have known better days," Khan admitted. His curiosity got the better of him as he looked into her reddened eyes. "Were you crying over me?"

Carol flinched as if he had struck her. "_**No**_! No, I wasn't crying over you," she snapped, trying to sound firm. "I was crying because of…our current situation. Which is why I'm here. I need to know exactly how you engineered those weapons."

Khan sighed and looked away in mock disappointment. "I knew that you would be here for a reason. But not even a thank you for saving your life?"

Carol leaned forward and grabbed his hands, looking at him fully for the first time since she arrived. "Thank you for fighting for us, Khan. I don't think we could have won without you. I'm sorry that you were injured…and I _did_ worry for you."

He smiled slowly and wrapped her fingers in his own. "You're welcome. Truthfully, however, I only fought to protect _my _crew, not yours. And also to protect…to protect you."

"_Me_?" Carol breathed, looking as if she wasn't sure whether to believe him or not. "Why me?"

"You are the first person who has shown me kindness since cryosleep," Khan answered, his voice distant. "You spoke for my crew when I could not, a debt that I will never be able to repay. And also…" Khan smirked, his voice going from serious to playful. "You have _terrible_ aim with a phaser. I felt that I had to intervene for the benefit of everyone in that battle, you included."

Carol groaned and rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. "I've never used one in a real fight before."

Khan's fingers moved from her hands to her wrist, measuring her pulse as he looked at her, his gaze intense. "Your heart rate is elevated for a human your age. Are you still nervous from the battle?"

"What? I…no, that was _hours_ ago, Khan."

"Are you afraid now?" He asked quietly, leaning closer to her.

"I am not afraid of you," she whispered, meeting his eyes steadily.

"Are you attracted to me?"

Carol held his piercing gaze, unable to look away, but she could not bring herself to answer. Khan's hands were gentle on her wrist but she could not afford to forget that those same hands had fired the shots that had killed Admiral Pike, had worked the controls as he locked the _Vengeance's_ weapons on the _Enterprise_, had…ended her father's life.

She looked down, no longer able to meet his eyes. "No," she whispered, realizing that her answer did not sound very convincing.

"At least look at me when you lie to me," Khan challenged, his voice cold as he let go of her wrist.

Carol took a deep breath and looked in him in the eyes. His gaze was closed off, less open than before but also…hopeful.

"I…admit that I just lied to you. I do find you…attractive, Khan. But I know that I shouldn't. I know that you had good reasons for some of what you did. But you would have killed everyone on this ship, and you _did_ kill Kirk. And before, on the _Vengeance_, you killed…" Her voice trailed off, and she paled at the memory that she still struggled to block out of her mind.

"I killed your father," Khan finished quietly. "I…cannot apologize for something I would do again, so I won't. But I caused you pain by my actions. I didn't know you then, and I thought you were like him, so I paid you no mind. _That_ is something I wish I could take back."

Carol exhaled slowly and nodded. She hadn't expected him to show much remorse for his actions, but his explanation made her understand him more. Still, she was nowhere close to forgiving him for it.

"And Kirk may have died indirectly due to my attack, but he's alive again because of my blood. I don't think it is fair to continue to hold that against me."

Carol felt a stab of guilt. _That's right,_ _**Jim**__…_

Yet another reason why her attraction to Khan was wrong.

"Khan, I'm with Kirk now. We're dating…he's a good man," she finished weakly.

Khan smiled slyly. "Does he make you happy, Carol?" He grabbed her wrist again, and Carol felt her pulse speed up at his touch. "Does he make your heart race?"

Carol thought for a moment, struggling to catch her breath. She knew that at one point in her life, she would have been happy with Kirk, could have loved him and him alone. But she had seen the worst side of human nature in the past year, in enemies and relatives alike. She had seen heroic acts of loyalty and sacrifice among her people, from Kirk, and from…Khan. Life used to be simpler, more predictable, black-and-white. Khan embodied the gray that she wanted to reject, but that she could not help but be drawn to. She was different now, for better or for worse.

Khan shifted, pulling her forward, his lips by her ear. "When he kisses you…do you think of this instead?"

His lips were on her own and in an instant, Carol's doubts melted away. As she kissed him back her mind went blank, her thoughts of Kirk gone as if they had never existed at all.

_Wrong wrong wrong_, a voice in the back of her head lectured, but it was easy to ignore because kissing Khan felt so maddeningly _right._

She pulled away when Khan shifted, exhaling sharply in pain. The world came rushing back, and his injuries reminded her of why she was here…officially, anyway.

He smiled wryly and pressed his forehead against hers. "Did that answer my questions?" he murmured, his voice hoarse.

"I don't know, Khan," she whispered back, resigned. "I just don't know."

* * *

"If you choose this path, Captain, there is no turning back. Regardless of the morality of our actions, we may still be condemned as criminals for defying the Federation."

Kirk paced the room, his eyes drawn back to Carol's report. She had questioned Khan, and he had provided all of the information that they needed to locate the weapons.

_Of course, this mess is his fault in the first place. _Kirk fumed, _or rather, Admiral Marcus's._

"We might not have a choice here, Spock. This could be worse than we imagined. If the Klingons can find and replicate those weapons, targeting those with human DNA…this could just be the beginning. We can't contact Starfleet, because who knows if someone authorized this. We're the only people who are equipped to end this right now."

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few," Spock recited, though his teaching held little comfort for Kirk.

"Exactly, Spock!" Kirk exclaimed, his voice full of bravado, though his hands were shaking.

"We may even be able to finish this task undetected," Spock continued. "With a weapons specialist like Dr. Marcus working alongside Khan, who designed them, the process could be very efficient."

Kirk scowled, his anger from earlier that day coming back full force. "I don't like the way he looks at her. He's trying to provoke me…I think he's planning something, and I'll be damned if I let it happen."

"His knowledge would complement hers well in this endeavor," Spock argued back. "Plus, perhaps their…_emotional_ connection will forestall any rash action on Khan's part."

Kirk rounded on Spock, his eyes narrowed. "_Emotional _connection? What the hell are you talking about, Spock?"

"Forgive me, Captain, I could be wrong in my analysis. But Dr. Marcus _did_ wait for hours for news of Khan's recovery – "

"To get the information that we needed. That's _all_! Why would she be concerned about the monster that crushed her father's skull?"

"When I questioned her, she expressed guilt and said that she felt responsible for his current predicament, because of her father's actions and her own."

Kirk felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Well, she shouldn't feel guilty, but _I _feel the same way, and I don't feel any 'emotional connection' towards that bastard, Spock."

"As I said earlier, I could be mistaken, Captain," Spock conceded. "The level of emotion was simply unexpected. She looked as if she had been crying. Perhaps it was over something else."

"It had to be, Spock."

After their meeting concluded, Kirk still felt a tug of unease, despite Spock's reassurance. He knew that his jealousy was misplaced…it _had _to be. Khan would use any means necessary to manipulate him, but Carol would never return the augment's advances.

_But why was she crying?_ Kirk couldn't help but wonder.

He walked over to the terminal and pulled up footage of Carol's visit to the med bay earlier that day to question Khan. As he watched his girlfriend and his nemesis converse, his blood seemed to freeze slowly in his veins, and the image of their passionate embrace was seared into his retinas.

* * *

_a/n: *_cackles* Heh, I just get eviler and eviler with these endings. Trouble in paradise, Kirk? I think so…I guess Carol shouldn't have trusted a Vulcan!

Thanks so much for the favs/follows/reviews! I really appreciate it! :)


	8. A Dangerous Game

**Chapter 8 – A Dangerous Game**

* * *

Khan watched Kirk carefully as the captain paced the space behind his desk across from where he was seated. He had been escorted to Kirk's office several minutes earlier, apparently to discuss the details of the upcoming mission. Despite his impassive exterior, however, Khan was edgy. One of Marcus's favorite tactics was to seat him in an uncomfortable chair in his lavish office, criticizing the pace of Khan's work as he made veiled and open threats to his family.

_More like Kirk will give me a series of orders, and I will have to follow them, or else_, Khan thought bitterly, imagining sealing a screaming Kirk in an airlock and venting it into space. The image made him smile slightly, and Kirk noticed, stopping his debriefing to glare at the prisoner.

"Is the idea of being discovered by Klingon soldiers on their home worlds _funny_ to you, Khan?"

Khan looked innocently back at the enraged captain. "No, Kirk…it will be a long time before I'm eager to fight the Klingons again." His smile faded as he remembered the bat'leth piercing his internal organs and going clean through his back. It had been a long time since was so seriously injured in a fight; his near-death experience was no doubt due to the restrictions that the device placed on him. If only he had been allowed to kill all of his opponents…

It was Kirk's turn to smile. "Yeah, I'm sure. I suppose I should thank you." It was obvious, however, that he was far from thankful.

Khan shrugged. "No thanks is necessary. It was a good fight." He grinned, remembering the thrill of power he had felt as he picked off Klingon after Klingon.

Kirk's smile faded and a flash of pain crossed his face. He returned to his debriefing without any further remarks, avoiding Khan's eyes. Khan frowned, wondering what had caused the sudden reaction from Kirk. Was it something he had said?

" – Follow all instructions that the Commander and Dr. Marcus give you, and don't think you'll get away with –"

"You will not be a part of the landing party?" Khan interrupted, hardly believing his ears. He thought that the captain would personally oversee their work, just like he had arrested him in person on Kronos despite the obvious dangers of that mission.

_Also_, Khan reminded himself, _he will be leaving me alone with Carol, aside from the Vulcan, of course._

"Nope," Kirk replied, smiling bitterly. "I have no expertise in this stuff, and Spock advised me to keep the landing party as small as possible. The Klingons can detect individual life forms. But rest assured," Kirk continued, an unspoken threat in his voice, "Mr. Spock will be looking out for my interests."

"What about Dr. Marcus, Captain?" Khan asked innocently. "Will she not have your interests in mind, as well?"

Fury crossed Kirk's face before he forced his expression into a cold, indifferent mask.

_I knew it_, Khan gloated. _There is no way this little meeting is entirely about the Klingons. It was only a matter of time before we were discovered. It's too bad that I wasn't there to see the look on his face._

"Why wouldn't my science officer have my best interests in mind?" Kirk asked quietly, his voice a dangerous whisper.

Khan was not a fan of mincing the truth or avoiding the cruel facts when both parties already knew what was going on. It was probably the reason why he had never been fond of politics, despite once ruling a vast empire.

"You saw us together, didn't you?"

Kirk stared at him for a moment, obviously surprised at his free confession. The Captain took a deep breath, attempting to calm his temper. He knew that if he became too angry, Khan would easily manipulate him again.

"I've seen you in her presence several times. Which are you referring to?"

Khan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The Captain sounded exactly like his first officer, and he clearly had no intention of making this any easier. He wanted Khan to confess exactly what they had done with no room for ambiguity.

"You saw us kiss," Khan replied, looking Kirk directly in the eyes. "Not in person, I am assuming, but later from the records, probably sometime yesterday."

Kirk looked back at Khan for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then he smiled slowly, a smile that it any other situation might be considered friendly.

"Would you like a drink, Khan?" Kirk's voice held no trace of sarcasm, and Khan stared at him in confusion. Was the captain mocking him?

"_Excuse _me?"

"A drink!" Kirk exclaimed, walking over to a built-in cabinet and taking out a bottle of scotch and two glasses. "You _do_ like alcohol, right? Unlike my uptight first officer?"

"Captain…" Khan said slowly, "I don't understand your reaction. I admit to kissing your girlfriend, and then you not only refrain from attacking me, but you offer me a _drink_? Unless you plan to poison me, that is."

"No poison," Kirk replied dismissively, pouring a generous amount of liquid into both glasses. He shoved one of the glasses into Khan's unresisting hand, raising his own and taking a swig. "Why do something like that, when I could have you killed anytime I want? Drink up," Kirk urged, "you'll need it."

Khan knocked the scotch back mechanically, feeling it burn as it went down. Kirk was drinking from the same bottle, and he did not seem to be suffering from any ill-effects yet, so Khan assumed that the scotch was safe. It was probably just a prop in whatever brilliant game Kirk thought he was playing.

"So, Khan," Kirk began awkwardly after they had finished drinking. "I wish you hadn't come out and said that. It would have been easier for you if…if you didn't make it necessary for me to tell you this way."

"Tell me what," Khan snapped, confused by Kirk's words. Was this a bizarre dream that he had yet to wake from?

"The truth," Kirk sighed, avoiding his eyes. "The truth about Carol and those two times you kissed her. I already knew about it…all along."

"And you allowed it?" Khan asked incredulously, his mind racing as he considered the implications of Kirk's words. "Are you suggesting that you put her up to it?"

"That's such a…_harsh_ way of saying it. It didn't start that way at first, I swear," Kirk began apologetically, and Khan felt his insides begin to turn cold. "Carol…she's very concerned about ethics. She thinks that these tests are wrong. So she visited you to see the results herself."

_He's trying to trick me,_ Khan realized. _He thinks that his pathetic act will fool me, when it's obvious that he had no idea what was happening._

"She feels sorry for you," Kirk continued, looking pityingly at Khan. "But you had to act smooth, didn't you? You thought that you could have her for whatever twisted purpose you had in mind. But if there's one thing I know about Carol, it's that she doesn't appreciate being used. _Especially_ by people who have hurt her before."

"Nice try, Kirk," Khan sneered, trying to sound unaffected. "But you will have to do better than that."

Kirk ignored him, continuing his story. "She was _pissed off_ at first. At you hitting on her, I mean. She still has nightmares about what happened on the _Vengeance_, sudden flashbacks. Maybe you gave her PTSD. But I thought your lack of game was kind of funny, in a sad way. We decided to make a bit of a joke of it, and we thought you would catch on right away. I guess we misjudged the situation, though. I'm _really_ sorry about that."

Khan stood, his heart pounding. He wanted nothing more than to leap across the desk and tear Kirk limb from limb.

"You're _lying, _Captain_. _How completely stupid do you think I am – "

"We still laugh about it all the time, and I'm sorry for that, too. Just last night in bed, after we had…well, you know, we stayed up joking about you for _hours_. You seriously thought that you had something special – "

Khan jumped across the desk, tackling Kirk hard. He would tear out the captain's lying tongue before breaking his neck like a twig –

_Damn it. I forgot about the device!_

Khan screamed as wave after wave of pain washed over him. It was at least twice as intense as what he felt when he had tried to disobey McCoy's order days ago. He felt as if he was being cooked alive in the center of the sun, without the mercy of a swift death.

Kirk broke free of his grasp, and Khan heard him stand and sigh in mock sympathy as the pain slowly died down. Khan lay boneless on the floor, his eyes closed, too shocked to do anything but attempt to take shaky breaths.

Khan heard Kirk kneel down, his lips close to his ear. "If you do _anything_ to hurt her, physically or psychologically, I will make you _beg_ for the pain you just felt. Remember that I hold the lives of your crew in my hands."

Khan laughed shakily in response, and the sound was rough and ugly. Kirk didn't actually believe that his threat would be taken seriously…did he? The captain had already protected his people's lives twice when it would have been far simpler to give them away.

"You think I'm bluffing?" Kirk whispered dangerously. "I watched a good man and a good _friend_ die at that emergency session because of you. I won't stand by as you hurt a single one of my people again. You asked me what I would do for my family. Test me, you sick bastard, and you might just find out that we're not so different after all."

Kirk punctuated his words with a kick to Khan's ribs.

"Now get up, you son of a bitch. We have a mission to discuss."

* * *

_a/n:_ Oh Captain, you can be so petty sometimes. :) But the question is, will Khan believe him? He's not the only person willing to play mind games. Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews!

I just got a job, and I plan to update as frequently as I am now (once or twice a week) but the chapters will probably be shorter. I plan to finish this story, and I will update whenever I get a chance. Reviews are much appreciated!


	9. Those Three Words

**Chapter 9 – Those Three Words**

* * *

Khan's mind spun as he was half-dragged, half-carried back to his cell in the med bay. Memories old and new arose randomly in his consciousness – his first steps in the stark, white interior of a laboratory, the sound of gunfire and the smell of napalm, and the first speech he had given to a roaring crowd as he ascended to power.

Three hundred years of sleep with vague awareness but a torturous inability to perceive or alter his state. The arrogant, condescending Admiral with his threats and his deadlines. Sheer panic and incomprehensible grief shifting into blinding rage. Pain and the mocking voices of his tormentors, then more pain.

And then…_her_. His enemy's offspring, but also a sip of water to a parched man dying of uncontrollable thirst, a beacon of light from a distant shore, guiding him home.

Home – had he, had _they, _ever known a place that they could truly call their own?

_Home is wherever your family is_, Khan had told them as he sealed their cryotubes shut one by one, before preparing for his own stasis. _And_ _I swear to you_ _that_ _we will live and die side by side._

Khan laughed despite the pain still lingering in every cell of his body, barely feeling the guards toss him back into his room. The door slammed shut behind them, and he took a series of deep breaths, forcing his mind above his pain.

"The mind…" He recited to himself from memory, his voice unsteady, "is its own place, and in itself…can make a Heaven of Hell…_a Hell of Heaven_."

_You have no idea what you have done, Kirk._

Khan knew _intellectually_ that the Captain was lying to him. Kirk was in the dark all along, and when the painful light of truth shone in his eyes, he had tried to maintain his illusion of control. Khan knew _logically_ that Kirk would never allow the woman he loved to become close to the one who had caused her so much misery, regardless of whether it was a joke or not.

But Kirk's mocking words still echoed in his mind nonetheless.

_I underestimated you_, Khan mused as he considered his opponent. _You used my own attachment against me, and planted doubts in my mind._

Doubts that he still couldn't shake. _She pities you_, Kirk had said. Was that the beginning and the end of her regard for him? Had he misread her so much?

Kirk had not behaved as he predicted, and he would not make the same mistake again with Carol. His plan would still go forward, but Khan knew that he would have to play his hand more carefully now, and adapt as the pawns on his chessboard gained minds of their own.

_I __**will**__ wake you, _Khan swore to his sleeping crew, _and then we will fight together once again._

He would destroy everything that Kirk had ever loved: his ship, his friends, and above all, his sense of morality and justice. Khan ignored the fact that he had left one particular person out of the equation.

_May the best man win, Kirk. And I am __**better**__…at everything._

* * *

Carol stood nervously in the transporter room alongside Spock, fidgeting with her supplies and equipment. Khan was standing across from her on the opposite side of the room, leaning against the wall as Kirk repeated their final instructions. Unlike the last time the four of them had been in the same space, Khan was determinedly avoiding her eyes.

In a way, Carol was grateful. Khan's suggestive looks had only provoked Kirk and distracted them from the task at hand.

_Distracted me especially_, she thought absently. When he had looked at her on the day he was injured, she could not help but think of how intense those blue eyes would be in a…far more _compromising_ circumstance.

Now that he was ignoring her, however, she could not help but be troubled by his disregard. Carol had seen him practically dragged back to the med bay earlier that day by security, too injured to stand. She knew that he had recently suffered an ordeal with the Klingons, but she thought that he would have been healed by now.

_More experiments_, she had thought anxiously at first, a flash of white-hot fury accompanying her concern. Who would continue to torture a man who had just saved hundreds of lives, when he was still recovering from that fight?

An even more disturbing thought had lingered in the back of her mind: _Is Jim aware of this? If he is, then why is he allowing it?_

When she had asked Khan about it, however, he just shook his head and brushed off her words.

"We have no reason to believe that they've detected us yet," Kirk said, reassuring them before they were beamed down. "The Klingons have likely increased defenses around their more inhabited planets instead. As long as everyone follows orders," Kirk continued, his eyes moving to Khan's, "you should be back safely in no time."

Khan stared impassively back at the captain, but Carol could palpably _sense_ the tension in the room rise. Had the two captains had yet _another _confrontation?

_Was that why he was…injured earlier?_ A traitorous voice in the back of her mind whispered. _Was it because of something that Jim did?_

Carol's dark musings were cut short, however, as Kirk pulled her into a kiss that was both brief and passionate. She felt exposed instead of exhilarated like she had been when they first started dating, as if she had been caught doing something wrong. She was not looking at Khan, but she could feel his eyes burning into them like twin phaser blasts.

Kirk pulled away, but he leaned forward to whisper something into her ear.

"Be careful around him, Carol. I spoke to him earlier today, and he started making threats against you. Said he would deal with you the way he dealt with your father. That thing in his back taught him a lesson, but he's a clever son of a bitch. Stay close to Spock."

Carol looked at Kirk, bewildered, and he pulled away slowly. "I love you," he said far more audibly. Out of the corner of her eye, Khan was still as a statue.

Anger and fear turned her stomach as she recalled her father's death. She didn't _think _that Khan still despised her based off of her interactions with him, but he had already shown that he was ruthless and calculating. He had fooled her father; he had fooled Kirk.

_You will not fool me as well_, she vowed silently to him. A nagging doubt in the back of her mind stemmed the tide of her anger: _What if Jim is lying?_

She brushed off that doubt immediately. Who would any rational person believe: a starship captain who had sacrificed his own life to save everyone on board his ship, or a psychopathic killer who was responsible for the deaths of thousands?

She looked Kirk straight in the eye and smiled.

"I love you, too."

* * *

The biting wind whipped at the three travelers as they slowly made their way to the site of the weapon. Sometime earlier, Khan had given an estimate of where it would be located and had informed them of what readings to look for on their scanners.

They stood around a rocky outcropping several meters in diameter. The bomb was inside, shielded from view by the rocks and camouflaged to resemble its surroundings, but up close, Carol easily recognized the telltale shape and sleek metal.

"It is releasing radiation into the atmosphere as we speak," Khan reminded them. "Within a few days' time, it will have contaminated this entire province."

"You said that the device will arm itself if tampered with?" Spock inquired, looking steadily at Khan.

_**He**__ would never allow himself to be deceived,_ Carol thought bitterly as she regarded the Vulcan. _Perhaps it's because he refuses to allow emotion to enter the equation._

"It is possible," Khan began slowly. "Each of these devices has a different setting, so that even if the Klingons discover them all, they would not be able to disarm them one by one easily or predictably."

"And if it arms itself, it will…" Carol began slowly, forcing herself to meet the augment's eyes. Khan had already explained the basics of the weapons, but she had always found repetition of the risks to be helpful before simulations at the Academy.

"It will detonate with enough force to consume this entire region," Khan answered, looking at her fully for the first time that day. "There may or may not be a backup that prevents an enemy's escape if the device is armed, but it can vary."

"You thought of everything," Carol muttered, shuddering as she imagined designing such a weapon herself. Her father was right about one thing – such a task would require a warrior's mind, a killer's mind, not merely textbook knowledge of the technology.

"I had to," Khan replied quietly, an unspoken bitterness in his eyes. Carol looked away again, feeling a stab of guilt.

"You might want to step back to a safer distance, Mr. Spock," Carol suggested as she began to make a series of measurements. "I need Khan here to guide me, but if this goes wrong, you at least should be beamed back."

Spock looked as if he wanted to argue, but stepped back obligingly as he recognized the most logical course of action.

Carol's heart began to race in anticipation, the familiar thrill that she had always felt at the Academy during simulations sharpening her senses and focusing her mind.

There was a panel on the bomb that she would have to remove, and once she did, the device had at least a seventy percent chance of arming itself. Khan had said to cut either the fifteenth or the twenty-third wire; because of the varied design and production of the weapons, even he was not entirely certain how to disarm each one.

"Before we begin," Khan started quietly, his deep voice jarring Carol out of her trance, "you should know that what Kirk told you in the transporter room is a lie. If we die here today, I thought you should at least know that."

The wind stirred the dust and sand around them, and in that moment Carol felt as if she and Khan were the only two people in the universe.

"I want to believe you," she whispered, their eyes locked, blue meeting blue. "I want to trust you."

"You will," Khan replied, his gaze steady. "In time."

Carol did not know how to respond to that. Instead, she gave him a challenging half-smile. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?"

Carol felt blood rush to her head as her adrenaline surged. She and Khan knelt down in front of the weapon. She took a deep breath as she grasped the panel that would allow her to disarm the device. She was the top student at the Academy for these types of simulations, and she had successfully managed one of the torpedoes that Khan had designed months ago.

_We will survive, _she repeated to herself. _Everything will be __**fine**__._

"Here goes nothing," Carol murmured as she disengaged the panel, sliding it open.

The red numbers in the interior of the panel were the first thing that her eyes perceived. The steady countdown was always the detail that vexed so many of her fellow students, trapping them in a frozen panic. _20, 19, 18…_

"_Shit."_

A frantic ticking sounded from the device, and Carol looked quickly up at Khan.

"Which wire?" She shouted, and gasped as a force field shimmered into existence around them, no doubt intended to interfere with a beaming signal. She heard Kirk's panicked voice through the earpiece she was wearing, as if from a distance.

Khan stared back at her, the first hints of desperation in his eyes. "I'm not sure! Either the fifteenth or the twenty-third! You have a fifty-fifty chance!"

_12, 11, 10…_

"_Which wire, _Khan_? _Remember!"

Khan screwed his eyes shut as he thought frantically. "The twenty-third!" He called, opening his eyes and looking searchingly back at her.

She placed cutter over the suggested wire by feel alone, her gaze never leaving Khan's. It was like staring into the center of the sun and being consumed, but then rising stronger from the ashes.

_If I die here, you are the last thing I want to see._

_7, 6, 5…_

"I'm sorry," she whispered in advance, knowing intuitively that he would hear her even over the alarms and the shouted instructions from the _Enterprise _bridge.

"Goodbye, Carol Marcus," Khan murmured, smiling sadly. "I love-"

_2…_

She cut the wire and their world was consumed by a burst of light and sound.

* * *

_a/n:_ Ehehehehe…I am evil.

But I think it's obvious that they don't really die here. I just thought this would be a good place to end for now, and I'll try to post again this weekend if I have time. :)

On another note, I realize that Khan is being kind of "obvious" about provoking Kirk. Don't worry – this is all part of his master plan. He knows how quickly the captain is to anger (such as on Kronos in the movie, etc.) and that Kirk is liable to slip up and make mistakes. Which mistakes? We will see…;)

Reviews are much appreciated!


	10. An Informed Decision

**Chapter 10: An Informed Decision**

* * *

"_Goodbye, Carol Marcus," Khan murmured, smiling sadly. "I love-"_

_2…_

_She cut the wire and their world was consumed by a burst of light and sound._

* * *

Carol's eyes were locked on Khan's as she cut the wire, and in that instant her mind was completely still and at peace. Time seemed to be dilated, expanded; each micro-second seemed to stretch on as long as the lifetime of the stars. She had heard about this phenomenon before, though she had never experienced it personally.

As she smiled back at Khan, the wire-cutter still closing in her hand and the click from the weapon still sounding in her ears, she knew that she had just killed them both. There were only so many times a person could cheat death, and she and Khan had each reached their limit.

"_I love –" _he had said. His words echoed in her ears, and as she heard them, her fear vanished.

Time slowed but her mind sped up, and she perceived every detail of her environment, reading Khan's face like an open book. She noticed that he was not afraid, despite having far more to lose than she did.

_He's brave_, she thought, feeling a deep sorrow. _Does he believe that his crew will be kept safe, with him gone?_

Something in his expression, a hint of hidden knowledge, jolted Carol out of her trance. The open panel on the radiation weapon lit up, temporarily blinding them both, and the outside cover screeched loudly as it shifted, opening to reveal the device's contents and full internal wiring.

It took her another second to realize that they were not going to be blown apart.

Numb and shaking, Carol barely heard Kirk's concerned voice booming from her earpiece. Khan recovered more quickly than she did and answered the bridge, confirming that they were both alive and that the weapon was successfully disarmed with an unsteady voice. She looked around and noticed that Commander Spock was gone; presumably Kirk had ordered him beamed up during the final seconds of the countdown.

Carol took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her ears. She had never felt this close to death when working with weapons before, not even when she had opened one of Khan's torpedoes. She had relied only on _her_ knowledge before, and not his.

_We had a fifty-fifty chance of survival_, she reminded herself. _If Khan hadn't guessed correctly…_

Something about that insight didn't sit right with her, as if she was missing something important. She brushed aside her unease as she heard Kirk's voice again in her ear.

"_Carol! _ Dr. Marcus, are you all right?"

She shook off the last vestiges of her panic and answered the captain, trying to sound calm and unshaken.

"I'm fine, Jim. The device is successfully disarmed – we just have to take apart its contents quickly here." Mr. Scott did not want to take any risks with an unknown weapon designed by a disgruntled Khan and his warp core.

She heard Kirk sigh in relief at the other end of the communicator. "Good. The Klingons haven't found us yet, but who knows how long we'll have. I'll stand by for your word."

The second he finished speaking Carol ripped her earpiece out, throwing it to the side out of the range of their voices. Khan smirked, amused, and he copied her action, looking at her out of the corner of his eye as he disassembled the weapon into several pieces quickly and expertly.

"_I love –" _his last words to her wouldn't leave her mind.

"Were you lying?" The words came out blunt and sudden without her fully intending them to.

Khan looked at her slowly, setting aside the equipment he was working with. He reached for her arm, pulling her closer and stroking her cheek, looking her straight in the eyes. Carol found it hard to breathe.

"I wasn't sure if you would hear me," Khan began softly. "But…I was not lying."

Carol searched his face for any signs of dishonesty and found none. Her heart soared, and against her better judgment, she pulled him forward into a kiss.

Khan's lips met her own and there was a hunger in his embrace. They kissed with desperation, as if they were drowning and their only chance of survival was each other. Khan pushed her forward until she was leaning against the wall of rock, their tongues clashing together.

Carol shrugged her jacket off and Khan reached under her shirt, his fingertips sending tingles of electricity shooting through her entire body. Carol ran a hand down his chest, feeling smooth muscle and defined abs through the thin fabric. She grinned, leaving a trail of kisses and teasing bites down his neck to where his shoulder met his collarbone. Khan moaned slightly, his voice a pleased rumble in her ear.

She straddled him, reaching to pull his shirt over his head.

"Wait," Khan murmured reluctantly, his voice thick with lust.

Carol sighed and stopped, leaning against him as he pulled her into a hug.

"Now is not the time or the place," Khan whispered, stroking her hair, and Carol knew that he was right. They had work to complete, and the Klingons could be there any minute. Besides, there was still the unresolved matter of Kirk.

"I have to tell him," she said quietly, paling at the thought. "But I don't want to do anything else that will jeopardize the safety of you and your crew."

"Don't worry," Khan whispered, "I know that you will figure something out."

He leaned back, tilting her chin up so that her eyes met his. There was an intensity on his handsome features that she had never seen before. She knew that she should be terrified, but instead she was exhilarated.

"And soon," he whispered sensually, "I will have you."

* * *

Carol took a deep breath, steeling herself for the inevitable. Ever since she and Khan had been beamed back, she had desperately brainstormed ideas of how to tell Kirk of her infidelity.

She hadn't _intended_ to cheat on him, especially with his most hated enemy, but after the kiss today she knew that there was no going back. For better or for worse, her heart preferred Khan, a convicted criminal over Kirk, a recognized hero.

_Damn it, Khan,_ she fumed. _I sure hope that you're worth it._

Carol knew that she couldn't tell Kirk exactly who she had fallen for; she did not want to bring any additional trouble on Khan and his frozen crew. She doubted that Jim would punish Khan by hurting his seventy-two crewmembers, but it was still a risk that she was unwilling to take. Besides, Kirk had given no hints yet that he even knew of her dalliance with Khan.

She turned the corner, freezing in her tracks as Kirk strode past her down the hall. He gave no indication that he saw her, and she opened her mouth to call to him, but no sound came out. It looked as if he was heading…to the med bay.

Carol frowned, deciding to follow him without fully realizing what she was doing. She kept a distance between them, her heart beating furiously. She knew that there were many reasons for the Captain to leave the bridge and walk to the med bay, but her instincts still told her that something was wrong.

She kept her head down, praying that nobody would call out her name. Sure enough, Kirk did not stop to see Bones, but continued down the hall straight for Khan's room. Carol's eyes darted around desperately as she searched for a place to hide. There was a stretcher and some other equipment stacked just outside of the room; it was not the best hiding place, but it would have to do.

Kirk punched in the code to open the door, and Carol could see barely-suppressed fury in his face and movements from her place on the floor. She held her breath as Kirk strode in, leaving the door slightly ajar.

She leaned forward as far as she could and tried to see through the cracked door from where she was hiding.

"You think you're hilarious, don't you?"

Kirk's voice was light and casual, but Carol could still sense the danger in his tone. Evidently Khan could as well, because his reply was cautious, as if he was trying not to bait a hungry tiger.

"Captain?"

"I never knew you were such a _jester_, Khan. Oh, it was a great performance today – for a second I thought it was _genuine_."

"It _was_ genuine, Kirk. I was not sure which wire to cut."

Kirk laughed, but there was no amusement in his voice. "Bullshit. I could just order you to tell the truth, but I think we both know what the answer would be. But I still find it…_troubling_ that you think the safety of my crew is a joke. That _her_ safety is a joke."

Carol inhaled sharply at Kirk's insinuation. Had Khan truly known exactly how to disarm the weapon all along? She had felt that he knew more than he let on during those final seconds, but his confession had distracted her.

If he was lying about disarming the weapon, was he also lying when he said that he loved her?

"I meant her no harm, Captain."

Kirk smiled widely, and from where Carol was crouched, she could tell that it was insincere. "All right, Khan. I'll take your word for it. It's not as if you've ever harmed anyone on this ship, after all," he began sarcastically. "It just felt a bit different from my perspective, you know, thinking that _my _girlfriend was about to die. Of course you understand."

"Of course," Khan replied hesitantly.

Kirk nodded matter-of-factly. "I'm sure you do. You've almost lost people you care about. But perhaps you need a reminder."

Carol tensed, holding her breath.

_He wouldn't_, she denied desperately, _surely Jim would never…_

"Follow me, Khan," Kirk commanded, his voice dark. "That's an order. I think you need a lesson in empathy. You will disconnect the power source to whichever cryotube you want."

He walked over to the door, stopping only several paces from Carol.

"_No!_" Khan shouted, doubling over in pain as he attempted to resist Kirk's order. Carol looked away, horrified, tears slipping down her cheeks. She could still hear the screams that he tried to muffle. She knew that he would never give in; Khan would face a thousand years of agony before he hurt one of his people.

Kirk sighed in mock impatience from the doorway. "I'm waiting. Come on, man, just make this easier on yourself."

Rage replaced her fear and Carol stood, preparing to jump in. She knew – she _hoped – _that Jim would give up this insane form of revenge once he knew she was here. If not…then she would make him.

Kirk laughed again, and Carol froze in her tracks.

"I was just _kidding_, Khan, geeze," he said lightly. "You see, I can be funny too."

Carol ducked down again and dared to peer back into the room. Khan was slumped over on the floor, still shaking from the pain he had just experienced. He was obviously trying to remain calm, but there was rage on his face. And _fear_. Carol did not think she had ever seen Khan truly _afraid _before.

"You think you can have it all, even after what you've done," Kirk began quietly, and Carol heard the full extent of his anger in his voice for the first time. "Your revenge, whatever that means, your crew, and _my _girlfriend."

Carol gasped from her hiding place, quickly covering her mouth in panic. _He __**knows**__!_

"I know that you're going through a tough time," Kirk continued, his voice softening slightly. "And you didn't _choose_ to be woken up to start a war, that's true. I can sympathize."

Carol held her breath and listened, her heart beating hard.

"But this is the last warning I'm giving you. The next time you try to pull something, there will be no more discussion. Of _anything_. It will only be your crew for my crew. Understood?"

Khan stared impassively back at the captain, his cold exterior back in place, but Carol could feel the caged beast beneath the surface waiting to break free.

"Understood, Captain," Khan replied evenly. "Thank you…for your mercy."

Kirk scoffed contemptuously and turned to leave, slamming the door, his footsteps moving past her hiding place and back down the hall.

Her mind raced, not with panic over Kirk discovering her secret, or with indignation over Khan's mind games, but with desperate plans.

_I have to help him_, she realized. _I need to free him and his crew._

* * *

Pain still blazed through Khan's every nerve, but he smiled in victory. He could still hear those light footsteps moving back down the hall through the closed door, inaudible to a normal human, but easily detectable by his ears. He had heard them earlier, too, along with their owner's panicked breathing and heartbeat behind a nearby stack of medical supplies.

_This could not have gone more perfectly_, he gloated silently, his fear washed away by a glimmer of seductive hope.

_So, shall we begin?_

* * *

_a/n_: Oh, Khan…sometimes I just don't know about you. You're so adorable, but I also want to punch you in the face. I think Carol shares those exact feelings with me, especially now. ;)

Thanks so much for the favs/follows/reviews! I'm having a lot of fun writing this story, especially at this turning point. :)


	11. Secrets Once Known

**Chapter 11: Secrets Once Known**

* * *

Carol walked back down the hallway and through the corridors numbly, her ears still ringing with Kirk's taunts and threats and Khan's screams. She knew that she should feel shocked and horrified, but instead her mind felt lucid and clear, as if a veil over her eyes had been lifted.

Only the truth remained.

_He knows_, her thoughts screamed over and over, stuck in an endless loop, only alternating with _I have to save him._

Kirk knew that she and Khan had kissed; the tone of his voice when he had accused Khan of wanting everything was proof beyond anything else. Carol also knew that Kirk's pride was injured, and that he blamed Khan solely for her infidelity. He would always hold Khan guilty of their shared crime, and he would never forget. Or forgive.

_I love you_, Kirk had said in the transporter room, his eyes shifting back to Khan's in spite, belying the truth of his words.

_I love – _Khan had said during the final seconds of the countdown, the countdown and crisis that he himself had engineered. He was lying – he _had _to be lying, but his eyes had been so clear, so blue, and there was conviction in his voice –

Carol burst into her quarters, heading directly for the bed. She grabbed a pillow and covered her face, screaming into the soft fabric as loudly as she could, venting all of her helpless rage, confusion, and fear. If she lost her voice, it was all the better. Nobody ever listened to her anyway.

_Damn you all_, she thought viciously, Kirk, Khan, Spock and her father's faces flashing though her mind. _You all think I'm some naïve girl to be used. You think that I can't play just as dirty as you… soon I will end your illusions._

Carol finished screaming into the pillow, out of breath, and she sat back on the bed, calmer than she had been a few minutes before. She analyzed her situation as coolly as possible, though her hands were still shaking.

In all probability, Kirk had seen the footage of her and Khan kissing. She didn't think he had known for very long – a day or two at most. He had seemed a bit _different_ over the past day, more distant and reserved, though she had blamed the stress of their current mission on the change.

_How did he know to check the footage?_ Carol wondered, several dark possibilities coming to mind at once. Of course, Khan had been far from _subtle_ in his flirtation around her, but why would Kirk ever suspect her of returning the augment's affections?

She recalled the day before in the med bay, desperately trying to pinpoint when she had made a mistake. There had to be a logical reason for –

Of course – _logical_.

Carol froze as her mind pieced the puzzle together, her eyes widening. _"I speculate that there is an emotional aspect involved as well" _Commander Spock had gloated, as smug as he had been three months ago when she had forged her identity to board the ship.

Carol laughed bitterly at the irony of it all. _Oh Mr. Spock, it seems that you're more human than you would have us believe._

Now she had Kirk _and _Spock to contend with, and a genocidal superhuman terrorist to free along with seventy-two of his frozen people, with no safe way to revive them. And she had no idea how to achieve that without committing treason and endangering her crew and the rest of the universe at the same time.

"No problem. It's all in a day's work," she said out loud, trying to sound nonchalant. She would worry about obstacles and ethical concerns later – right now she had a Vulcan medical database to hack.

* * *

Jim stopped in front of Carol's quarters, taking a deep breath and trying to settle his mind before knocking in his usual manner. Things were no different now than they were before – at least, Carol would have no reason to suspect anything unusual from him. He knew that Khan was too proud to say anything.

Truthfully, Jim was fine with that. He loved Carol and Carol loved him, and after his little "chat" with Khan earlier today, he knew that this current unpleasantness would soon be a bad memory, something that he could laugh about ten years down the road with his closest friends. He knew that Carol in no way shared Khan's twisted feelings; he was just manipulating her into believing that she did.

The door swung open after a pause, and Carol jumped slightly as she saw him, covering up her first reaction with a wide smile.

"Jim! I wasn't expecting you…so soon."

He laughed, bewildered, before putting on his most charming smile and stepping past her into the room. She seemed a bit jumpy – perhaps believing that she had been so close to death earlier that day still rattled her.

Jim's anger rose again as he recalled Khan's little prank. Really, it was intended as more of a message or a test than a mere joke. As Khan had held Carol's life in his hands earlier that day, he seemed to be saying: _look how close I am to __**your**__ family. I can end this any way I choose._

It was a challenge, and Jim always rose to challenges. Pike had dared him to do better, but then he had…Jim pushed the painful memory away automatically. Perhaps he had gone too far in reprimanding Khan, but all the frustration and panic of the last few days had broken him completely when Khan had taunted him with Carol's life.

He wondered if Pike would have threatened Khan as he had that afternoon, if the safety of his crew was at stake.

Jim looked around the room, taking in its general state of disarray. It looked as if Carol was working on something important – perhaps some project she had been assigned. Her portable quantum computer was open, and code was running across the screen. Most of it made little sense to Jim, but it looked as if she was cracking a particularly tough encryption algorithm.

Carol followed his gaze, a slight nervous edge to her smile. "The Klingons – it's their planetary defense system. We need to know how it works. I've been working on this for the last couple days."

Jim smiled and reached out, pulling her towards him. "You are amazing," he whispered, stroking her cheek. He leaned down and kissed her slowly, sweetly. Carol responded at first, relaxing, before tensing as if she remembered something. Jim frowned and pulled back slightly, running his hands down her bare arms.

"You're shaking," he whispered, his concern for her at the forefront of his mind again. "I wanted to see how you were. It was a pretty intense day for you. We were all worried."

"Right," Carol answered shakily, no doubt remembering the false alarm on the surface of the planet. "But we were never really in danger, were we? He wouldn't have – "

Jim clenched his jaw, the mere mention of Khan re-igniting his fury. "That bastard…" He trailed off at her worried look.

Jim took a deep breath, controlling his temper. "No, Carol. He wouldn't have let anything happen, but that doesn't make what he did _okay_. He knew all along – "

She flinched as if in pain. "I _know_, Jim. I know," she said softly, avoiding his eyes.

"He's dangerous, and he'll betray us at the first opportunity he gets. Augments…I don't think they can empathize with normal people. They only care about their own kind. They see everyone else as nothing more than animals. San Francisco is proof enough of that."

Carol shivered, and Jim knew that it wasn't from the cold. "Perhaps…maybe you're right, Jim."

He continued, relieved to see that Khan's cruelty was finally making an impression on her. Perhaps Khan had outsmarted himself again with his little prank.

"I don't know what to do about him, but I can't risk your life like that again. And I'm sure as hell not sending him down there alone."

Carol looked up sharply, her gaze intense. "We can't just abandon this mission, Jim. We _can't_," she argued, her voice imploring.

Jim smiled sadly, knowing that she felt more responsibility for the Klingon deaths than anyone else on board, if only because of who her father was.

"I'm not planning on it…we need to see this through. I just need some way to make that bastard cooperate. Pain doesn't seem to motivate him as much as I had hoped…" Jim trailed off absently, recalling Khan's satisfying screams as the device had made every nerve in his body flare up. What made it all the more brilliant was the fact that Khan did it to himself; Jim didn't have to lift a finger to make the killer suffer far worse agony than any standard torture could inflict.

He looked back at Carol again only to see that she had gone pale, staring up at him with wide eyes as if he had just kicked a puppy in front of her. He realized that he had been too open regarding his punishment of Khan – she probably still sympathized with the bastard, as he had once.

"What – what will you do with him, then?" Carol asked after an awkward pause, trying to sound indifferent, though Jim knew she was anything but.

_She only pities him_,_ nothing more, _he reminded himself. _That's just how he draws people in._

Jim began to pace the floor in front of her as he considered a merciful sounding answer. "I don't think the Federation will be happy about this…but maybe I can give him some positive reinforcement."

Carol just looked back at him, her eyebrows raised, clearly skeptical.

"Okay, okay, I haven't really thought this through yet. But hear me out. Khan would do anything for his crew, right? If I say we can wake them up, he'll do everything in his power to cooperate with us…up until a point."

Carol snorted. "Right until the second they're awake and we have seventy-three pissed off super-humans to contend with."

Jim smiled. "I'm not done yet. So we finish this mission. If Khan does what he's supposed to, we wake his crew up. We can't have them aboard, obviously, or risk bringing them back to Earth. But why not give them a planet of their own? They can create their own society there, be as savage as they like," he continued, starting to sound inspired by his own lie.

"That planet we visited – Ceti Alpha V. Once the Klingons are gone, it'll be perfect. It's enough of a challenge to live there that they won't be focusing on conquering the rest of the universe. They'll survive, they'll be free, and we won't have to deal with them any longer."

Carol frowned, unconvinced, and Jim knew that he really had to sell this last part. Then he would have her back, be rid of Khan on his own terms, and life would finally go back to _normal_.

He tucked her hair behind her ear gently, pulling her into his arms. "This has been a difficult time for all of us," he whispered into her ear, rubbing soothing circles on her back. She was still so _tense_, and it was starting to bother him. "It's hard to find the right thing to do, the right people to trust, but I know we will pull through."

His hand found a pocket on the side of her uniform and he discreetly tucked the small, untraceable listening device inside. It melded perfectly with the fabric, and unless she knew to look for it, it was unlikely that she would ever find it.

"And then," he finished, his voice full of conviction, "I will be the man that you deserve."

Right after he disposed of Khan permanently, of course.

* * *

Khan held back a sigh, exasperated, as the Vulcan asked him the same basic question for what seemed like the hundredth time. Maybe it was. He understood that the Commander would be watching him more closely after his risky gambit earlier that day, but this was simply tedious. Vulcans truly did think of every possible angle of a situation. It was frustrating beyond belief, but useful to know. Mr. Spock was perhaps the most worthy opponent he had ever contended with, besides a certain admiral's daughter.

An admiral's daughter who now knew that he had lied.

"Mr. Spock," Khan said darkly, "Let's play this out logically. If I was lying about the trap on the next weapon, you would be able to tell by now. Your people have truly mastered the art of inflicting pain."

Khan could have sworn that Spock _smirked_ at him.

_Mr. Spock, you will be the last to go, right after your Captain. I will take my __**time**__ with you._

"If you simply do as you are told, there will be no pain. It is a simple concept, but not one I expect you would adapt to easily," Spock replied evenly.

"That's true," Khan conceded. "I have never enjoyed obeying the orders of the inferior. As the most advanced individual on this ship after myself, but still only the commander, I expected you to understand."

"You are trying to provoke me, and it will not work. Why did you lie about how to disarm the weapon? You would not have thrown away your life without reason. What point were you trying to make?"

Khan smiled savagely, the same smile he had given Spock when he told him that he couldn't be expected to break bone. Now he knew that wasn't true, and that the Vulcan could be moved by his emotions like any human.

"I wanted to _hurt_ him, Mr. Spock. To show him that he can be as close to losing what he loves as I am." It was not technically a lie – he just hadn't revealed his full intentions.

Khan knew his distraction had worked when Spock shoved him back against the wall, both hands wrapped around his throat. There was pure rage on his face, and the irony was beautiful.

"_If_ you hurt him…again," Spock began, strangling Khan slowly, "it will not end well for you. It will not end…_quickly_ for you."

"I believe you," Khan gasped, and he did. He tried his best to look somewhat intimidated.

The door slid open and Spock released him, backing up a step, his expression still murderous. Carol stood in the entrance, holding a datapad and looking between them apprehensively.

"Is everything all right?"

Spock took a deep, calming breath and Khan held back a smile. "Everything is fine, Dr. Marcus," Spock replied. "I was just interrogating Khan further about the complications with today's mission. I have determined that he is telling the truth about future targets, but you are certainly welcome to question him yourself. It would be…logical."

Spock turned to leave, shooting Khan one last glare as he walked out the door.

Carol turned back to Khan, looking as if she wanted to ask a question. Instead, she just shook her head in exasperation. "I just…don't even want to know. You really shouldn't provoke him."

"It's surprisingly easy," Khan joked. "And here I thought Vulcans were so controlled."

Carol glared at him and shoved the datapad into his hands. "You might want to sit down," she suggested, though it sounded more like a command.

Khan shrugged and sat, peering at the screen. The untitled document he was looking at consisted of a list of names and ages, and from the size of the file, there had to be thousands of them.

He looked up at Carol in confusion, only to be met with an icy glare. "Read it out loud," she ordered, her voice leaving no room for argument.

"All of them?" Khan asked incredulously. It would take hours if he had to read the entire file.

"Until I say you can stop."

Khan began to read, a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Samantha Wakefield….36. Joseph Lopez…28. Jessica Lopez…26. Tim Lopez…3."

_A family_? Khan wondered as he pondered the last three names. He paused for a second, quickly counting the number of names on the page and calculating the total number of names in the document, based off of the size of the file.

_21,196 names_.

He looked up at Carol again, startled. Her eyes were red, but he couldn't see any tears.

"Do you know what this is?" She asked quietly. Khan nodded, finding it impossible to meet her relentless gaze.

"Keep reading," she snapped, her voice rough, and Khan felt as if being forced to look only at the datapad was a blessing.

He read through several pages tonelessly, willing the accusing words and numbers not to affect him but not quite succeeding. He didn't dare look up at Carol; the evidence of his crimes in the file was nothing compared to the condemnation in her eyes.

There were many random names and ages, but people with the same surnames were grouped together, and Khan couldn't help but wonder if they were family. Had the _Vengeance_ wiped out entire families at once, or were some people left behind, alone? Both possibilities had to be true, he realized. With these numbers…

He still remembered the deafening sound of seventy-two torpedoes exploding in the hangar bay, and the resulting rage and despair that had overcome all rational thought, leaving only an all-consuming desire for revenge behind. He recalled setting the destination for Starfleet Headquarters, but he didn't remember the fall or the crash.

He thought that Spock had killed _his _entire family…but he hadn't. It had been justice at the time, vengeance for his murdered people. Except now he knew that his crew had been safe all along, and that his justice was hollow and empty.

It wasn't _supposed_ to feel this way – humanity had never given him any reason to care before. In his former life, he wouldn't have flinched at seeing such a list. He would have been _proud_.

Khan kept reading, the names and ages of his victims blurring together. He barely felt Carol take the PADD from his shaking hands, feeling numb as she tilted his chin up to meet her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, her fingers brushing lightly against his cheek. "I've found my answer."

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, turning to leave as he stared at her, his eyes unseeing.

For the first time that day, he didn't feel as if he had won.

* * *

_a/n_: Carol's not messing around anymore…poor Khan! And what is Jim planning? DUN DUN DUN…

Thanks so much for the favs/follows/reviews, I hope this chapter satisfied. Maybe another update this weekend? I'll try… :)


	12. Mutually Assured Destruction

**Chapter 12: Mutually Assured Destruction**

* * *

The small personal ship cut through the dust clouds near the moon's surface, its pilot navigating flawlessly and intuitively, barely looking at the controls despite being from another time entirely. Carol watched Khan out of the corner of her eye, wishing that he would break the tense silence _somehow_, even if it was just to be difficult.

She had barely seen Khan or spoken with him at length since she had forced him to read the names of his victims two days before. It had been impossible; she was too busy juggling the Klingons and Kirk and planning treason to check on Khan. She hadn't slept, and her world was staring to seem like a far less optimistic, manageable place.

She felt cruel for ambushing Khan with those names and then leaving him alone, but if she was going to follow through with her insane plan, then she needed to _know_. She needed to know that he understood what he had done, and that he felt enough remorse never to attempt it again.

Time was running out, and Carol knew that she had to act soon. The outline of the slim case in her uniform's pocket reminded her of her mission and purpose today.

They were on their way back to the _Enterprise _to be beamed up, having already completed their work on Praxis. It was going more smoothly than last time, but Carol's instincts still screamed that something was wrong. First of all, she and Khan had been beamed down alone, whereas Spock was sent with them before. Carol had learned all that she needed to know about Khan's treatment from the Vulcan database, but when she tried to hack back in again, its security features were different and nearly impossible to decrypt remotely.

Somebody had discovered the intrusion, and Carol couldn't help but wonder if Spock's absence and her hacking were connected. And now Khan's silence was grating on her. She took a deep breath, preparing to address the elephant in the room.

"Khan, I…" She began hesitantly, trying to find the right words. "I know seeing that list and me forcing you to read it was a surprise. You probably weren't expecting it."

He looked at her fully for the first time that day, his expression unreadable. "You're right, I wasn't." He paused as if considering what he would say next.

He turned back to the viewport, breaking her gaze and working the controls. "Did Kirk tell you his prize theory? About the reason for our problems on the last mission? Is that what this is about?"

Carol's temper flared at his attempt to pin his guilt on her. He had _no_ _right._

"Did he tell me you _lied_ about disarming the weapon? That much was obvious. And I'm starting to think that nothing that comes out of your mouth is the truth, unless you're using it to manipulate someone."

"I wasn't lying about everything that day," Khan said quietly, his voice low. Carol wished that he would find the courage to look her in the eyes.

"_I love –"_ Khan's words came back to her mind unbidden. Was that what he meant?

She mentally slapped herself for the naïve sentiment. Khan was a viper, and he would say anything to gain a momentary advantage. Carol knew that it was foolish to let her guard down around him. Even if he _did _have feelings for her, he would never reveal them so readily.

When she had shown him the names of the _Vengeance _crash victims, however, he hadn't said anything at all. No excuses, no profuse apologies or clever denials. He had just read in a monotone, forcing himself to continue as much to prove a point as to avoid the pain of disobeying her order, but his hands had been shaking.

It had seemed like he was trying to lie to _himself_ in that moment rather than to her.

"Making you read that list wasn't intended as revenge for your lies, if that's what you're implying," Carol said slowly, attempting to meet his eyes again. "I needed to see how you would react… to know that what I'm planning on doing next is right. If you're beyond redemption, then I'm doing something evil."

"You said you found an answer," Khan murmured, looking back at her. "Is it the one you hoped for?"

Carol smiled genuinely for the first time in what seemed like days. "It is," she said, somewhat nervously. "We're close to the _Enterprise_ now, but not so close that they can beam us up. If you're curious about my answer…then you should land right about here."

Khan stared at her, hesitant about landing on enemy territory but also undeniably curious. He carefully maneuvered the small ship to a safe expanse of ground, looking at her questioningly as they touched down.

It was getting more and more difficult to read her intentions. He doubted that she meant him any harm, but his warrior's instincts told him to always remain cautious. What bothered him most was the fear and hope that warred in his mind and made his heart beat faster in anticipation. She couldn't mean what he thought she did…and he didn't dare set himself up for disappointment.

Carol took a deep breath, looking far off into the distance as if debating her decision one last time. Khan watched as she reached into her pocket, pulling out a slim black case. He held his breath as she opened it, seeing a vial of silvery liquid and a glass syringe with a long needle inside.

"I'm a science officer, not a medical doctor," Carol began shakily, her voice unsteady, "so I can't be sure that this will not hurt you. The information I found…" She laughed darkly, and it was easy for Khan to guess how she had obtained that knowledge, "…references this as a _temporary_ solution. The…_device_ will still be there along your spine, but this should block its signal to your brain for a short amount of time."

"How long?" Khan demanded, his eyes fixed on the vial. He knew that it was his only chance for salvation. Despite his renewed hope, he was not ready to trust Carol yet. He needed to know precisely how long he would be free, and when he would become a slave in his own body again.

"For Vulcans it's several weeks, long enough to prepare the body for the actual surgery," Carol answered, her eyes wide. "For someone like you…I'm not sure. But this is all I have…I barely found enough ingredients to synthesize this one dose."

Khan was not happy with her answer, but he supposed that temporary freedom was better than no freedom at all. At least he would be able to free his crew now, and perhaps even commandeer the _Enterprise_ alone. But one question nagged at his mind…and despite his plan working perfectly up until this point, he knew better now than to underestimate Carol Marcus.

"If you do this, you will be a traitor," Khan accused, his voice hard. "You would be placing my freedom above the lives of your captain and crew. Do you accept that?"

"I accept that I am a traitor."

Carol leaned closer and looked him directly in the eyes, a warning in her gaze. "But you won't be killing anyone, Khan."

He met her glare challengingly. "And how would you be able to guarantee such mercy from me?"

"You owe me a debt."

Khan smiled dangerously and pulled her onto his lap in one smooth motion. Their lips were nearly touching, and Khan could hear her heart rate speed up at his touch.

"There is no denying that. And I won't kill you," he whispered into her ear. "You will come with us. We will travel the stars together."

Carol looked into his eyes, and more than anything, she _wanted _to go with him. She wanted _him_, and she wanted a world where they could be free, where they could create a new life and leave all of their pain and hurt behind.

But she wasn't willing to travel the stars with the unrepentant killer of all of her crewmembers.

"You owe Kirk a debt," she replied instead, her voice firm.

Khan's eyes flashed and he stood suddenly, pushing her away, anger and shame in his voice. "I owe him _nothing_!"

Carol sat on the floor where she had fallen, watching Khan pace in front of her like a caged tiger.

"He protected your crew," Carol continued determinedly, knowing intuitively that she could reach him. "They would have been lab rats like you are if he hadn't. Worse, even."

Khan rounded on her, his face dark with rage. "He _threatened_ my family! He was trying to force me to kill them myself! _My own people!_"

"But he didn't," Carol reminded him quietly, wondering if he knew that she had heard Kirk's cruel bluff in the med bay. "He could have killed them easily, but he didn't."

Khan just stared at her breathing hard, his mind obviously racing at the simple truth. Carol looked back at him, astonished. It seemed like it had never crossed his mind that not everyone was as willing to kill as he was.

"He fought for you and your crew, even after you murdered the man he considered to be a father," Carol pressed on indignantly. "He kept your family safe, after you destroyed thousands of others."

A flash of pain crossed Khan's face at the reminder of the _Vengeance _crashand he slumped against the steel wall in defeat, his anger forgotten.

"You owe him a debt," Carol repeated matter-of-factly.

Khan chuckled bitterly. "Sometimes…I don't know what you do to me, Carol," he murmured, eyeing her warily, but with a certain wonder. "Very well. I will not kill unless it is necessary to defend myself or my crew. Or you," he added, a hint of possessiveness in his voice.

Carol smiled internally at her victory. Her appeal to Khan's guilt and pride seemed to have worked. Even if he was lying to her, she still had one last card to play, though she hoped that she would never have to use it.

She climbed into the pilot's chair, tearing the plastic wrapper off of the syringe and preparing the injection wordlessly. Khan walked over to sit at her side, eyeing the contents of the syringe apprehensively, but also with undisguised hope.

"If anyone else but you offered me this, I would have refused outright," Khan stated quietly. "But here I am, allowing you to inject me with an unknown substance."

Carol smiled gratefully at him, realizing that this was taking as much trust on Khan's part as it was on hers. "Is that your way of saying you love me?" she asked jokingly, though she watched his face carefully for his reaction, her heart pounding.

Khan stared openly at her, and Carol began to flush in embarrassment. It was a stupid thing to say even in jest – of course Khan of all people would not possibly have any desire for her at all beyond the physical.

She started to look away, but was transfixed again by the smile spreading slowly across his face, full of charm and danger.

"I said that I wasn't lying about _everything_ that day," Khan gloated, pulling her into a kiss.

It was gentle but possessive, sweet but with hints of menace under the surface. They were fire and ice, day and night; contradictions that were eternally at odds but _necessary_, and that could together sum to be something greater.

Carol felt tears beginning to slip over her cheeks and she wanted to say it back to him, but she couldn't yet. If he broke his word today and killed her friends, it would destroy her. He needed to prove himself first.

She broke the embrace reluctantly and took Khan's arm, rolling his sleeve up slowly. She met his eyes again as she placed the needle above a vein and pushed it in, her breath catching in her throat. Khan stared back at her, terrified and elated in equal parts.

_This is it…_

She pushed the top of the syringe down, watching as the silver liquid disappeared into Khan's arm.

* * *

Jim listened to the conversation in shock from the captain's chair, feeling like his world was shattering piece by piece around him at their every word. At times he forgot how to breathe.

This was what he knew: Carol was a traitor in league with Khan, not merely a sympathizer. _She _had been the one to hack a database on New Vulcan, as Spock had suggested yesterday.

She was freeing Khan knowing that he could and would gladly kill everyone on board the ship. Though she had made him promise not to, Kirk knew that words were empty as far as Khan was concerned.

And he _loved_ her. Khan had implied that he _loved _Carol, _his _girlfriend – was it a lie? It must be. It _had_ to be.

Kirk buried his head in his hands, breathing slowly, and it seemed like his heart was pumping liquid rage through his veins. His blood felt as if it was _boiling_. He was vaguely aware of Spock's hand on his shoulder and some string of words that a Vulcan probably found comforting.

He had bugged Carol to get some more insight into Khan's schemes, but he had never anticipated _this_.

Khan would _pay_ and Kirk would finish him with his bare hands. Kirk still remembered how it had felt crushing Admiral Marcus's skull: a satisfying crunch and a spray of blood, with fluid and brains leaking out over his hands. Yes, Khan would pay.

_But that isn't right_, he reminded himself in a flash of insight, _**Khan**__ was the one who killed Marcus. I only watched._

But the memory was so _clear,_ so enticing.

He stood and strode out of the bridge, barely hearing Spock's call behind him. The transporter room. Find Carol, kill Khan. Crush his skull, take back what was _His_.

Jim was so consumed by his plan that he didn't hear the bridge's warning in his earpiece until it was too late. A series of powerful blasts rocked the ship, alarms going off as the _Enterprise_ was caught in a storm of enemy fire.

* * *

Trolololololol. :D

I think we are reaching a turning point in this story now, perhaps 3-4 more chapters, plus an epilogue? That's just a guess, honestly it could be more depending on the length of each chapter. Thanks for the favs/follows/reviews! Feedback is much appreciated!


	13. The Highest Price

**Chapter 13: The Highest Price**

Jim was thrown off his feet as the _Enterprise_ was caught in the line of fire, his bloody plans temporarily forgotten. His crew was in danger!

He stood and ran back to the bridge, heeding Spock's urgent call. Despite the fact that the blasts rocking the ship made coordinated movement almost impossible, Jim ran faster than he ever had before in his life, with perfect balance.

"Mr. Sulu, full shields!" He shouted as he reached the Captain's chair. "Take evasive action!"

Kirk turned back to Spock, and his question had not even left his mouth before his first officer replied.

"A D5 class Klingon warship," Spock said quickly. "It dropped out of warp approximately thirty seconds ago."

"Dammit," Jim hissed, his heart racing, "I need a damage report."

"There's a hull breach," an officer called back to him, "the enemy ship has fired disruptor cannons and photon torpedoes. The warp core still is operating effectively according to reports –"

A thrill of terror ran through Jim's entire being as he remembered re-aligning the warp core last time, then being sealed in a glass tomb as the radiation tore his body apart.

_Is there anything you would not do for your family?_

"Captain, the most logical course of action is to flee at warp," Spock told him urgently, cutting into his flashback. "A firefight would be inadvisable considering the goals of our mission, and the Klingons should not be able to catch us at warp like Admiral Marcus was."

Kirk knew that Spock had a point. As far as they were aware, the Klingons had not attacked any major Federation targets openly yet, and raising tensions further by destroying one of their ships only meant that more innocent people would die in retaliation.

The Klingon warship was also a match for the _Enterprise, _and while Jim could choose to fire back, many more of his crewmembers would die if he gave that order. Killing Klingons wasn't the reason they were there.

But if he retreated now…he would be leaving two very important people behind. Carol, who was _his_, and Khan, to whom Jim owed a very bloody debt.

"Carol and Khan are still down there, Spock –"

"Dr. Marcus has betrayed us, Captain," Spock said almost gently, as sensitively as a Vulcan could manage, Jim supposed. "While her expertise was valuable, we now know enough to continue this mission without her."

Another cannon blast rocked the ship.

"_Shields at thirty percent, Captain!"_ Sulu called desperately, and Jim felt his adrenaline rise further as his focus was torn between each new problem.

"Lock phasers on their engines and return fire! Full weapons!" Jim roared, white-hot rage consuming his fear and strengthening his resolve. He wouldn't let the Klingons get away with hurting his crew as they lay there prone, helpless, and unaware. He would reduce them to _atoms_. And Khan was _his_ to capture and punish, not the Klingons'.

"Captain –" Spock started to object, and Jim looked sharply back at him, his glare silencing the Vulcan straight away.

"_I'm not backing down_, Commander. Traitor that she is, Carol is one of ours. And Khan…I won't let the Klingons capture the engineer of those weapons."

Spock must have realized the logic of Kirk's last argument because he moved into action at once, gathering damage reports and data from various bridge members.

The _Enterprise's_ phasers tore into the Klingon ship, though its advanced shields absorbed some of the damage. Kirk watched breathless as the warship seemed to tilt unsteadily for a spilt second, a twisted joy taking hold of his senses. The only good enemy was a dead enemy, and no ship should go down painlessly.

The officers on the bridge stared transfixed at the compromised enemy ship, watching and waiting for it to fall. Kirk didn't process Sulu's sudden warning until it was already too late.

"_They're firing their entire arsenal –"_

Dozens of photon torpedoes tore through the _Enterprise's _shields, and Jim and his colleagues were thrown off their feet and across the room upon impact. A deafening series of blasts consumed the screams of dying crewmembers outside of the bridge, but Jim could almost feel every last death as if it was his own.

_His crew!_ He had to move his sleeping crew somewhere safer, somewhere more heavily shielded –

The ship tilted, the lights on the bridge flickering once before shutting off. Jim's entire body went cold.

The words "warp core offline" flashed across a screen nearby him, and Jim had to pinch himself to confirm that he wasn't having yet another nightmare. He knew that this wasn't like all the nights he had woken up tossing and turning, with the dread and knowledge of death that ate at him like acid familiar but distant, only a bad memory.

He had always known deep down that he was living on borrowed time and stolen blood, and that sooner or later he would have to face his fate.

"Central and auxiliary power failing, Captain!"

The entire bridge crew was looking at him with dread and sympathy, as if they had already subconsciously discerned his intentions.

Jim smiled sadly, knowing that this was the best way to die, if only he could keep them all safe.

"Goodbye," he whispered.

He turned and ran for the doors, only to be pulled back by inhumanly strong arms. Jim snarled, turning and letting his fist collide with the jaw of his first officer. Spock stumbled, the sheer force of the blow taking him by surprise.

"Stay the hell out of this, Spock," Jim shouted, "it's the only logical thing to do!"

"Jim, I will not allow you to do this again," Spock said back firmly, his eyes sad but determined. "This time it is my responsibility."

Jim smiled savagely. "Are you gonna try and stop me, Mr. Spock?"

Spock drew a phaser in an instant, his arm moving faster than the eye could see. Kirk gasped as shot after shot hit him, but instead of losing consciousness instantly, he stayed on his feet. The panicked voices of the bridge crew rang in his ears.

Spock gaped at him, his face slack with shock, a realization forming in his eyes.

Jim's anger rose to dizzying heights again – on top of everything else, now his first officer was starting a mutiny and preventing him from saving his people!

He lunged and tackled Spock hard, feeling weak and disoriented from being hit by multiple stun blasts but not put down. Spock flipped him and grabbed his shoulder, attempting a Vulcan nerve pinch. Jim shouted in pain; it felt like his every nerve ending was on fire. The Vulcan had attempted this on him once before, on top of a moving garbage carrier…but that wasn't right, was it?

Jim's last emotion before falling unconscious was utter confusion.

* * *

_Free at last!_

Khan watched the silver liquid disappear into his arm with a focus that he had never given anything before in his life. He felt it flowing through his veins, leaving a cool, numb sensation wherever it went. It was unsettling, but he supposed that it felt like freedom.

He glanced carefully at Carol's face, studying it for any sign of deception. He found none, but he knew better than to trust his eyes alone. Her gaze was fixed on his arm, and she was biting her lower lip nervously, her face pale.

Khan didn't think that she had any reason at this point to poison him; unless, of course, she was somehow on a mission from Kirk. And Kirk could have him killed anytime he wanted, regardless, as he was so fond of reminding Khan lately.

As the contents of the injection slowly made their way through his body, Khan studied Carol like a connoisseur would study a work of art. She was indisputably attractive, even though she was not an augment like Khan was used to.

Her intelligence was also superior to that of many other humans he had interacted with, and he was surprised to find that she kept him guessing. She was smart, but too smart for her own good, like a certain Vulcan that Khan despised.

He held back at smirk as he considered the promise he had just made her. Carol was clever, but also dangerously naive. Khan had promised not to kill _if it wasn't necessary_ – but he knew that Kirk and Spock would _make_ it necessary. If the injection temporarily freed him, then Khan knew he could have his crew back, and he would almost certainly have to take the captain's life. Perhaps Spock's too, if fortune was on his side.

Despite his growing excitement, Khan couldn't help but feel an unpleasant twinge of guilt and shame as he recalled the words _"You owe Kirk a debt."_ Though he wanted to deny it with all of his being, Carol was right. Kirk had kept his people safe when he could not, and Khan _always_ paid his debts.

Khan brushed off his unease. Regardless of what happened to Kirk, he would have Carol in the end. He smiled to himself as he thought of where he would take her for the first time after their escape: perhaps in the captain's chair as the stars sped by them outside of the viewport.

He could almost feel her soft skin sliding against his now, and hear her screaming his name as he sent her over the edge.

_Soon, _he told himself, _have patience._

"How do you feel? Do you think it's working?"

Khan's fantasy was broken by Carol's voice, and he found that her eyes were fixed intently on his. He frowned at her question; he didn't _feel _much different, but he hadn't had an opportunity to test it yet either.

"Order me to do something," Khan suggested, "something simple that I can't possibly mistake."

"Okay," Carol replied authoritatively, thinking quickly, "Start flying us back to the _Enterprise_ right now."

Khan sat unmoving in his chair, holding his breath as he waited for the pain to start. One second passed, then five, and then ten as he waited in nervous anticipation. As time slowly ticked by, his anxiety was replaced by joy. It was actually _working_, and he was free!

Carol beamed happily back at him, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Now I order you to kiss me," she demanded, her voice sultry.

Khan grinned. "You don't have to order me to do _that_."

He leaned down, meeting her lips hungrily and feeling his desire surge to intolerable heights. He fumbled with the zipper on the back of her dress with one hand, the other moving up her thigh as she shifted back onto his lap. He had to have her right here and _now_, consequences be damned –

Khan jumped up in shock reflexively as the door was blasted open, an energy beam almost disintegrating the metal on contact. Carol's blaster was already in his hand, and he heard her surprised cry as he trained it on their attackers, firing and hitting his targets before he even fully saw them through the smoke.

Klingons. An entire squad of them, and they all had their weapons trained on Carol as they screamed at him to stand down.

Khan stopped firing, realizing that he hadn't even done any real damage – Carol's phaser was locked to stun.

The line of Klingons parted as their commander stepped closer Khan. "Surrender, human soldier. Drop your weapon, or the woman dies," the leader spat at him, and while Khan's Klingon was far from perfect, he understood enough to resent hearing another order so soon after being freed.

Khan considered dropping his weapon and then snapping the warrior's neck in one smooth motion, but Carol would surely be killed if he did. Khan didn't think that the Klingons needed both of them alive, and he didn't want to force them to make that decision, either.

He set Carol's phaser down on the ground slowly, kicking it in the direction of the commander. The Klingons had not shot them yet, so Khan presumed that they still had some use for him and Carol. Perhaps he could run with this opportunity and turn this defeat into an unlikely victory.

Khan smiled as widely and genially as he could at the commander even as warriors moved forward to cuff him, glancing pointedly back at Carol.

"You've found the _Enterprise_, then," Khan stated slowly in Klingon, hoping that he would be understood the first time he spoke it.

The commander laughed roughly and Khan felt a chill run down his spine. If they had destroyed the ship, then his crew –

"A ship of cowards," the Klingon sneered. "They are not even worth killing, but perhaps even weak things still have some value."

"You have taken the ship?" Khan asked quickly, relieved, only to have his arms wrenched roughly behind his back and chained together. Beside him, he heard Carol's whimper of pain as she was similarly handled and he forced himself to push back his fury.

"_I _will be the one asking questions," the Klingon snapped, stepping forward and backhanding Khan savagely across the face. Khan held back a wince – he wasn't hurt, but Klingons were much stronger than regular humans.

But the commander's impatient tone told Khan something very important – perhaps they had managed to defeat the _Enterprise_ in combat, but they had not boarded her yet. There were various security codes and other unfamiliar Federation technology that the Klingons would have to bypass first. In addition, they seemed to want the ship's crew alive. Khan could work with that.

"I can offer you more than security codes," Khan began earnestly. He nodded at Carol, seeing the commander follow his gaze. "I can offer you the key to the captain's heart, and the knowledge of how to twist that knife in deep."

The Klingon smiled slowly, looking at Carol with a new interest. She desperately met his eyes, confused at hearing a negotiation she could not understand and horrified by the realization that was slowly dawning on her as she looked back at Khan.

"My dear Dr. Marcus," Khan sighed sadly in English, "what on Earth possessed you to ever trust me?"

* * *

The panel of admirals considered Spock from the screen, and the condescension and disapproval on their faces was clear even from light years away.

"You're requesting aid, Commander, after going rogue?" Admiral Warren snapped, disgust on his face. "Why should loyal officers risk their lives to save a ship full of traitors?"

The acting captain considered his answer carefully, though he knew that he did not have much time. The _Enterprise_ was caught in the enemy ship's tractor beam, but soon the Klingons would try to board.

"If we are captured, Admiral," Spock began evenly, "the Klingons will not only gain further knowledge of the weapons used against them, but they will also deduce how to engineer them for use against humans. It is only logical to send us aid."

Stevens shook his head sadly. "You and your captain should never have interfered, son. Those weapons were there for a reason. Now we've lost our advantage."

"I take full responsibility for the _Enterprise's _actions. The lower ranks were only following orders. Please, do not let them die because of my decision," Spock pleaded, knowing that humans appreciated humility.

Stevens paused and seemed to consider something, and Spock and the rest of the bridge crew held their breath.

"All right, Commander Spock," Stevens said finally. "I'll send aid, but only on one condition."

Spock listened.

"You give us Khan and his crew. Put them in the transporter room immediately so that we can beam them out when we arrive. The Federation needs more weapons and augment blood, and those things don't just produce themselves."

Spock didn't mention that Khan was out of his reach. He could locate him later, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Khan would come to him. And then Spock had some important questions for him to answer.

It was morally questionable to turn over Khan and his crew to the Admirals, knowing how the Federation was going to use them, but what other logical choice did Spock have?

"I accept your condition," Spock replied with finality. "Khan and his crew are yours."

* * *

_a/n:_ The plot thickens! What will happen to Carol? What is Khan planning? Stay tuned… ;)

And thanks so much for the favs, follows and kind reviews!


	14. Those Most Dear

**Chapter 14: Those Most Dear**

Carol listened breathlessly to the interrogation in the next cell. There were shouted questions in Klingon that she didn't understand, but many of which seemed to be repeated a great deal. Even worse were the sounds of fists hitting flesh and something that sounded like a strong spark of electricity. She didn't _want_ to hear what they were doing to Khan, but with her hands tied it was hard to physically block it all out.

Despite the harsh questioning, there were no screams from the prisoner, only strings of words that she couldn't comprehend. Carol knew one thing, however: Khan was beginning to work his magic on the Klingons to win their loyalty, and the second they turned away, they would all find knives in their backs. She had no reason to believe that Khan would show the Klingons any more loyalty than he had her; his decency only extended as far as himself and his crew.

Carol flinched as she heard yet another spark and the sound of sizzling skin, followed by a short cry that Khan couldn't hold back any longer. She felt tears gathering in her eyes and hated herself for it; even after she had helped him, Khan was almost certainly planning to use her to manipulate Kirk and break his promise. Why should she care if his lies finally caught up with him?

_He deserves it_, she tried to tell herself, but her thoughts lacked any genuine spite. The fear and rage that she felt upon hearing his mocking words when they were captured had faded during the last hour, leaving only sorrow behind. Even after everything, she didn't want to him to be hurt.

_Oh Khan, _Carol wondered dejectedly, _do you even know your own plan?_

* * *

The Klingon moved the shock stick towards his face again, and Khan tried his best to hold back his cry of pain and steady his breathing as it seared his skin. Klingons valued strength above all, and at this critical juncture he couldn't afford to be seen as weak.

He heard the skin on his cheek begin to sizzle and smelled burning flesh. Painful sparks of electricity ran up and down his body. The pain was considerable, but not nearly as intense as the agony that the device had caused him over the past weeks.

_That's right_, Khan reminded himself, _I am free again and I only have so much time to make use of it._

The Commander, who had introduced himself as Krell, removed the torture instrument once again and stared at Khan's wound in amazement.

Khan felt his skin beginning to repair itself, and he knew that Krell was seeing the severe burn fading and being replaced by healthy tissue as if it had never existed at all.

"What _are _you?" Krell spat, grabbing Khan's chin in an iron-strong grip and tilting his head up to better see his face. "You look like a human, but you are no normal human."

Khan met his glare evenly. "I am _better_."

Krell snorted in contempt. "You are strong yet you obey the weak? Perhaps your defect is not in your body, but in your mind."

He jabbed Khan's temple hard with his thick finger and laughed, and Khan had to bite his tongue to hold back his suggestion of exactly what the Klingon could go do to himself with that finger.

Ever since the Klingons had forcefully brought him and Carol aboard the main ship, Krell had shouted question after question at him that he couldn't answer regarding _Enterprise's _command codes, where the weapons were stored, and whether or not the crew would arm them. How was Khan supposed to know; it wasn't as if they just _told _him these things.

He hadn't been able to weave his trap until now. The Commander's punches hardly even left a bruise, while they would have reduced a human's face to a bloody mess; his knife was barely able to pierce Khan's tough skin, and now even more standard instruments of torture were having little lasting effect. Khan had learned over the course of his life that shocking people with something unexpected was often the best way of convincing them of the truth.

Or an elaborate lie.

"I don't obey them willingly," Khan began, glaring defiantly back at Krell. He knew that he had to play his next part perfectly, as he had with Kirk and Spock all those months ago. He was just glad that he had taken the time to learn some Klingon while he was in Marcus's captivity; knowing the language made it slightly easier to build trust.

Krell might mistrust him, but Khan could tell that the Klingons were desperate for a quick solution. They wanted to board the _Enterprise_, but they also needed to avoid any potential traps. Khan could manipulate that, and then have what _he_ wanted…but it all relied on Carol Marcus. Or rather, Kirk's love for Carol Marcus.

_Where did they take her?_ He wondered, feeling his stomach turn as he considered how they were dealing with her. He hoped that they were treating her far more gently than they were him.

"There is a…machine…along my spine," Khan continued, struggling to find the right Klingon word for the Vulcan treatment. "It forced me to obey the captain and his crew. I am a warrior like you…but from a time long past. Three hundred years ago I ruled Earth before I went into exile with my people. But then the Federation woke me from my sleep… and made me their slave. All to prepare for a war against your people."

Krell looked incredulously back at him, his expression judgmental, as far as Khan could tell.

"And you chose to obey them over death? Where is the honor in that? If what you say is true, then you are no warrior, only a coward."

Khan took a calming breath before arguing back. "If it was only me, I would have chosen death. I was created to lead, not to follow. But my people, all still frozen…were used to control me by Starfleet. They still are."

Krell looked curiously at him, the same look he had given Carol when Khan had told him of her value.

"So you want to free your people." Krell's eyes widened at his realization. "_You_ were the human that killed so many of our warriors on Ceti Alpha V," he said shrewdly. "Yet you claim that Starfleet is your enemy."

"I have nothing against the Klingons. I want nothing more than to watch Starfleet burn," Khan said with conviction, earning a twisted smile from Krell.

"And the woman we captured with you? She is your enemy as well?"

Khan started at the mention of Carol, but he knew that he had to answer Krell's question. If he let his feelings influence his words now, his entire plan would be ruined.

"I despise her most of all! Her father was the one who woke me up, the first to threaten my people." It wasn't entirely a lie; Khan _did _still hold some resentment towards Carol for what her father had done, unfair as it was, and he found it easy to pour his bitter anger into his words.

Krell studied his face carefully. "You do not look at her with hatred. Just the opposite, as I saw it…but perhaps it is different for humans."

"I have no love for her…" Khan denied quickly before smiling savagely, remembering what he had done to Admiral Marcus. "I crushed her father's head with my hands as she begged me to show mercy."

Khan still remembered her screams. They had been satisfying beyond measure at the time, but now that he looked back, it was harder to revel in his only moment of absolute victory since cryosleep.

_She has taken even that from me_, Khan thought angrily, though his disgust was directed more at himself than at Carol. _What have I become?_

Krell laughed appreciatively at the mention of Marcus's brutal death, and the sound made Khan feel sick against his will.

"You said that the girl has some value. The captain loves her?"

"He would do anything for her. He helped her after…after her father's passing." Much like Kirk had helped him and his crew, though Khan loathed admitting it, especially to himself.

"Then perhaps it will move him," Krell suggested softly, leaning in closer, "if you threaten to recreate her father's fate."

Khan realized what Krell meant, and he felt sick. But he had already come this far, and there was no turning back now. His crew was depending on him.

_Carol,_ he thought regretfully, _please don't hate me more than you already must right now. If I could make you understand my intentions, I would._

"And if you betray us as we capture the ship," Krell threatened, his voice a savage whisper, "her death will be the last thing you ever see. Somehow I suspect it will bring you less joy than you claim."

Khan shuddered but forced himself to smile.

* * *

Carol listened to the mutual conversation beginning in the nearby cell, smiling darkly as she heard Khan's voice more and more, and his replies to the Commander's eager questions. Khan had them now, and Carol knew that it would not end well for the Klingons – or for her.

_At least I won't be alone, _she thought with twisted amusement, a half-laugh, half-sob coming from deep inside her chest. _I'm not the only idiot who trusted Khan today._

Carol froze as the voices from Khan's cell fell silent, holding her breath as she realized that her bitter laugh had turned the Klingon's attention back to her.

Her heart began to race as the Commander's footsteps moved back into the hallway and towards her cell.

Was he going to torture her now? More importantly, what exactly had Khan said about her?

The Klingon stepped into the room, his eyes moving slowly up and down her body. Carol glared stonily back at him, her cool expression concealing the fear flowing like liquid mercury through her veins.

The Klingon smiled appreciatively at her defiance, stepping closer and reaching out to touch her hair. She tensed as he ran his fingers through it curiously, jerking her head away as he murmured something softly in Klingon.

Carol heard more pairs of footsteps from the hallway and she looked up again, relief and fury warring in her heart as she saw a pair of guards and Khan standing in the entrance of the cell.

The Commander laughed as he spoke to Khan, and Carol flinched as she felt two strong hands wrap around her head, fingers like iron circling her skull. The Klingon squeezed once hard, jokingly, and Carol could not repress her soft cry of fear.

She knew that he was not nearly strong enough to crush her skull, but the memories it brought back were more damaging than the threat itself. More than that, she felt _betrayed_. Khan had told the Klingons what he had done to her father, knowing they would use that knowledge.

Did he truly hate her so much?

Carol glared at him as she was forced up from the chair, pouring all of her hate and pain into her eyes. To his credit, Khan did not look away, but only stared back at her impassively, his face expressionless.

_Maybe he never even hated me_, a dark part of Carol's mind whispered. _He just wanted to use me. I was only ever a means to an end._

She recalled Kirk's warning that augments only cared about their own kind and despised herself even more for her stupidity. She had allowed herself to be taken in by Khan's act and had ruined her relationship with Jim, only to seal his and his crew's fates for her error.

_At least I never said that I loved him._

She and Khan were marched down the hall and onto what she assumed to be the bridge. Carol's heart sped up as she realized what the Klingons would have Khan do.

She met Khan's eyes again, her pride forgotten and her voice imploring. "Please, Khan, don't do this. Do you really think they'll let you and your crew go –"

A guard backhanded her, telling her what she assumed to be 'shut the hell up' in Klingon. The blow turned her head around and made her cheek feel as if it was on fire, and she tasted blood from her split lip.

Khan's impassive mask dropped for a split second as his eyes glittered with rage. Carol glanced at him, shocked; was he truly concerned for her?

As the bridge crew occupied themselves with preparing for the transmission, Khan held her gaze, and for a split second, Carol could have sworn that he _winked _at her.

_You sneaky bastard_, Carol thought with half-admiration, half-disgust. _How do you plan to get out of __**this**__ mess?_

Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but she really wanted to believe that Khan had a strategy, one that didn't end with the Klingons capturing the _Enterprise _or her skull getting crushed.

The screen flickered as the Klingons opened an emergency channel to the damaged _Enterprise_. A guard pulled her forward and shoved her down into an empty chair well in the view of the other ship's crew. Before he moved away, he tied a strip of cloth over her mouth. Carol's heart raced in panic and she found it hard to breathe.

The Commander nodded at Khan, and one of the guards unbound his hands, pushing him towards her. Khan moved to stand obediently behind her and waited for the _Enterprise _to accept the transmission.

As Carol watched, the screen resolved to the image of the familiar, if damaged _Enterprise_ bridge. She expected to see Kirk looking calmly and defiantly back at them from the captain's chair, only to be surprised beyond measure as she saw Spock sitting in Jim's usual spot.

From Khan's sharp breath behind her, he was surprised as well, and Carol knew that meant nothing good.

* * *

Khan's eyes narrowed as he saw the Vulcan he both despised and respected as a near equal sitting in the captain's chair. Something wasn't right – Khan could tell from Spock's body language that he wasn't merely filling in for Kirk momentarily. Something unexpected had happened.

"Khan," Spock addressed him coolly. "Somehow I am not surprised to see you under these circumstances."

"Where is the captain, Mr. Spock?" Khan demanded, knowing that he would have to be direct. The Vulcan loved to stall, and Khan couldn't afford to be distracted by meaningless banter. He still recalled the last time he had made a negotiation with Spock and he wasn't eager to repeat the experience.

"He is indisposed," Spock replied evenly. "I am acting captain now."

_Damn it!_ Khan thought, panicking as his plan began to slip though his fingers. This was the worst possible outcome he had considered, and truthfully, he didn't know if he could salvage it. He had counted on _Kirk's _mercy to save Carol. Spock might uphold his captain's principals, or he might choose to take another path entirely – the "logical" path that demanded the sacrifice of the few.

"Captain Kirk is ill? I doubt that," Khan sneered, calling Spock on his bluff. "This message is for him. Or is he unfit for duty?"

Spock's silence answered Khan's question for him. Out of the corner of his eye, Khan saw Krell's steady glare. He knew that if he didn't get results soon, the Klingons would simply kill Carol and try another strategy. He couldn't afford to waste any more time.

"Since I know that this emergency transmission will be ship wide," Khan continued, ignoring Spock entirely, 'I am addressing my terms to you, Kirk, wherever you may be. The fate of Dr. Marcus rests entirely on your cooperation."

He took a deep breath and moved his hands up to wrap around her skull. Khan felt Carol flinch involuntarily. Her body shook under his touch, not with pleasure like before, but with fear. Khan wanted to let go and comfort her, but he kept his expression ruthless.

"If you do not give the Klingons the command codes to the _Enterprise_, Dr. Marcus will go the way of her late father. You remember how that looked, don't you Kirk?" Khan added cruelly, feeling a drop of water run over his thumb. He realized soon afterwards that Carol was crying.

Khan froze for a moment, trying to remember his next line, desperation setting in as he tried to block out the memory of how he had killed Admiral Marcus. He couldn't stop picturing Carol's face instead of her father's, and her desperate eyes pleading with him as he ended her life in a spray of gore.

"You have five minutes to comply and surrender yourself unconditionally," Khan added after a tense pause. "If you try to sabotage the boarding party, you will die, Dr. Marcus will die, and many of your crewmembers will die. They don't need all of you alive."

Khan relaxed the slightest bit as he finished delivering his message, moving his hands away from Carol's skull. She was still shaking, he noticed, so he subtly laid a gentle hand on her back. Not that such a gesture would make anything better; he knew that he would never deserve forgiveness for what he had just done.

Spock simply raised an eyebrow. "I am not surprised at your defection, Khan. But I also do not want the…_loyal… _Dr. Marcus to suffer unnecessarily," he said with a slight smirk.

_That bastard_, Khan deduced. _He knows that she freed me._

"I am willing to surrender as acting captain of this ship," Spock continued, "provided that I can speak with you directly, Khan. Despite the captain's…_newfound strength_…he will be out of the picture for this negotiation."

_Newfound strength?_ Khan wondered, completely bewildered, before his mind latched onto the meaning of Spock's words.

_It appears that I might find a worthy opponent in you after all, Kirk. Blood always tells…and my blood runs through your veins._

"You may meet with me," Khan replied, before looking quickly at Krell for confirmation. "But you are surrendering to the Klingons."

"I understand," Spock said casually. "And I will make sure the weapons that we disarmed are presented to them immediately. We can't have any…unfortunate _accidents _with such dangerous radiation."

Khan wanted to throw his head back and laugh long and hard at Spock's genius. He never would have guessed that Spock would catch onto his plan so quickly, let alone _cooperate _with him.

_He must really want to know what is happening to Kirk, _Khan realized. _I am willing to indulge him, and watch for his inevitable betrayal._

"Tell your new allies that they are free to board," Spock continued, a hidden message only intended for Khan in his eyes. "The_ Enterprise _is theirs."

* * *

Jim raced down the hall from the brig, moving faster than he ever had before in his life. He had to find his crew, wherever they were stored, and send them somewhere far away, somewhere _safe_. And Carol…he couldn't bear to watch her die like her father. Jim had…_Khan _had killed the Admiral with his bare hands, and he couldn't leave her to such a horrific fate, even if she was a traitor.

Jim would surrender now, but he would have a surprise prepared for the Klingons when he did. _And for Khan._

A red-shirted security officer tried to grab him as he turned the corner, and Jim pivoted, punching him in the throat and breaking his neck without a second thought or a bit of effort.

He was the second officer that Jim had killed in the past minute. Normally, he would have paused to respect his victim and express remorse, but Carol was the first priority on his mind.

_Is there anything you would not do for your family?_ Khan's voice asked mournfully in his head.

_No_, Jim thought determinedly, _no, you bastard. There's not. And I'm ready to face you now._

_Carol may have freed you, but she doesn't know that I can change that._

* * *

_a/n_: Khan, you handsome scumbag! Will Carol ever be able to forgive you? And what are you planning with Spock? I hope this isn't too confusing and the plot is becoming clearer.

Thanks so much for the favs/follows/reviews! I'd say perhaps 3 more chapters plus an epilogue from here? I hope the pace isn't too slow…please let me know what you think! :)


	15. Fear and Love

**Chapter 15: Fear and Love**

Khan watched carefully as Spock approached the boarding party on the bridge, his hands raised in surrender. The weapons that he and Carol had disarmed were lined up behind him, much to Krell's wary satisfaction. But Khan had a feeling that they were not as harmless as they appeared.

_Thank you, Mr. Spock._

Klingon soldiers moved quickly to secure the rest of Spock's surviving crewmembers, herding them in the direction of the brig and transporter rooms. Khan heard the occasional blaster bolt and assumed that not every crewmember was accepting the situation without question.

Khan looked to his left at Krell and his array of guards. One of them had Carol in a vice-like grip, the edge of his bat'leth pressed against her throat. She was still pale and shaking from his threat aboard the Klingon ship minutes ago, but she met his gaze steadily, expectation in her eyes. She clearly knew that he had a certain plan, albeit a risky one.

Khan looked away, troubled by her knowledge. It Carol had caught on then the Klingons eventually would too.

The warriors approached Spock, their blasters aimed at his head. Krell spat a question at him in Klingon, and Khan translated, unsure whether Spock could speak the language.

"He wants to know where Captain Kirk is."

Spock locked eyes with Khan. He looked impassive, but Khan knew the Vulcan well enough to see the struggle brewing beneath his calm exterior. Khan sympathized with him, to an extent; Spock had to choose between Kirk's welfare and the lives of the rest of his crewmembers. More now than ever, Khan appreciated the difficulty of that choice.

_He was the programmer of Kobayashi Maru test_, Khan recalled, his lip curling at the irony. _But somehow I suspect that this is not his no-win scenario. I will make that happen soon…but not quite yet._

"We put him in the brig," Spock replied after a pause, and Khan carefully noted his word choice. Kirk _had been_ in the brig, but Khan knew that such a mediocre cell could not hope to hold a being of his strength and intelligence for long, whatever type of poor imitation of an augment Kirk was.

_A Vulcan does not lie. _But Khan was well aware by now that Spock could omit the truth.

After hearing Khan's translation, Krell spoke a few guttural phrases to one of the warriors guarding the brig through his communicator, asking if there was a human already locked inside. After a few seconds' pause, a garbled reply came back, and from Krell's scowl Khan knew that his suspicions were confirmed.

Krell nodded coolly at the Klingon holding Carol and Khan tensed, expecting to see the flash of a blade and a spray of red. Instead, the warrior only pressed his blade in slightly, and a trickle of blood ran from Carol's jugular down the front of her shirt.

Carol was breathing quickly, her fear evident, but Khan could tell that she was trying her hardest to remain calm. He took a deep breath and forced himself to maintain his own composure. If he attacked now, the Klingon would certainly be able to kill Carol before he reached her, and if he died in the process…then there was no telling what would happen to his crew.

He was outnumbered and outgunned in close quarters, and the success of his plan relied entirely on the cooperation of Spock, his enemy.

Khan's realization chilled him to the bone. _Maybe this is not his no-win scenario, but mine_.

Krell spoke again to Spock, and Khan echoed him in English, his voice hollow. "He wants to know why you're lying. He says that he will kill members of your crew randomly until you cooperate, starting with Dr. Marcus."

Spock looked less than impressed, and Khan could tell that the threat of Carol's death would not sway his decision in the slightest. She was a traitor, after all, even if she was also a hostage of the Klingons.

"You should know," Khan added on an impulse, wary of Krell's steady glare, "that if Dr. Marcus dies, I will never give you the answers that you need."

Spock clenched his jaw, the only outward sign of his struggle, before nodding and addressing Krell. "He must have escaped, and he might be armed. He would not visit the bridge first, but rather the – "

Khan's eyes widened as he realized Kirk's play even before Spock had finished his sentence.

"_Warp core_," he yelled at Krell in Klingon, before lights illuminated the dim bridge once again a second later. The ship re-aligned itself automatically, breaking the hold of the tractor beam. Krell swore and gestured at a group of his warriors, and they moved to flank the door.

They wouldn't be enough if Kirk decided to fight, but Khan only hoped that he would not escalate the already delicate situation.

Though he would never admit it out loud, he wanted a clear shot at the Klingon holding Carol first.

"_The command codes_," Krell yelled at him, and Khan repeated the demand to Spock.

Spock began to recite the numbers and Khan made sure to listen carefully.

* * *

Jim strode calmly to the bridge, his movements revealing nothing but confidence. In reality, however, he was afraid; there were so many things that could go wrong within the next few minutes, and if he failed, his family would pay the price.

_And so would Carol._

The Klingons were a threat, but only a trivial one. His true opponent would be much harder to take down, even with the shared blood running through their veins.

Deducing what was happening to himself after hearing Khan and Spock's conversation was a shock, but Jim was far less horrified afterwards than he would have been mere days ago. His mind felt expanded, and his thinking was less linear and restricted; there were only possibilities now, new avenues that were closed before because of his limited understanding of reality.

It was terrifying, but only on a purely intellectual level. Jim's _true_ fears had far more devastating and immediate consequences for others rather than himself.

Still, underneath his fear ran a powerful current of hope. Khan _thought _that he was the only person on the ship who could play the game, but Jim still had one advantage that Khan would never anticipate.

_You think you're free, you bastard? Did you __**really**__ think it would be so easy?_

Two Klingon warriors intercepted him as he turned the corner, but Jim had heard them from far down the hall thirty seconds ago. He took a second to appreciate his heightened senses; those weren't bad either.

The Klingons recognized him as the missing captain and shouted at him to surrender in their language. Jim was shocked to realize that he could understand them; he had never really excelled in xenolingusitics at the Academy, and he had certainly never spoken Klingon before.

It was not hard to deduce where his new ability came from.

Jim raised his hands in a show of surrender, trying his best to look like the inexperienced and terrified but ultimately well-meaning young captain that the Klingons were expecting. The warriors bound his hands behind his back, and Jim tested the restraints subtly, knowing intuitively that he could break them with his 'newfound strength.'

Jim was marched the rest of the way to the bridge, flanked by his guards. The door hissed open after one of the soldiers spoke into his communicator, and the first thing Jim saw was a dozen blasters pointed directly at his face.

The second thing he saw was Khan standing near what Jim assumed to be the Klingon Captain or Commander. His anger rose to impossible heights as he locked eyes with the augment, but he forced it back for a more opportune moment.

That level of world-destroying rage was new, and Jim wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable with it yet. He would have to learn to control it, before it controlled him.

Spock was standing before the Klingons, having clearly surrendered, at least outwardly. Jim noticed right away that they had left his hands unbound; because of their sheer numbers on the bridge, the Klingons were overconfident.

_Good_, Jim mused, appreciative despite his irritation with his rebellious first officer. _They'll learn what happens soon when they underestimate a Vulcan._

Jim looked further to Khan's left and saw something that almost made him drop his act right then and there. A Klingon solider was holding Carol in his arms, and none too gently. A bat'leth was pressed against her jugular and a trickle of blood was already flowing from the wound.

She met his eyes and Jim saw a dozen conflicting emotions there all at once. Fear, either of her imminent death, or perhaps of him. Anger, though Jim couldn't tell if it was directed at him or not. Guilt…and Jim's resolve strengthened at what he saw next. _Hope._

The Klingon Commander grinned twistedly at him, already gloating at his apparent victory. "Thank you, Captain Kirk, from Krell," he sneered, clearly not expecting Jim to be able to understand him. "We have everything we need. We will bleed your crew dry to finish the war you started."

Jim sighed, looking resigned, and nodded. "I understand. If it makes any difference to you, I never wanted a war in the first place," he replied in Klingon.

Krell's eyes widened in surprise and he gave Khan a sharp look before turning back to Kirk.

"You all have fought very bravely," Krell hissed at Jim, his eyes narrowed. "So I will grant you this one last kindness. Say your final goodbyes to the woman you love."

Jim turned to Carol, his expression blank. "Carol, I personally forgive you for everything," he said softly in English. "Khan manipulated you, and he'll pay for that. But first…_stay very still_."

Carol barely had time to express her confusion, but even as Khan leapt into action, pivoting and taking the blaster of the closest Klingon guard, Kirk broke his bonds with one hard tug and reached down into his boot, grasping the tiny explosive he had hidden there only moments before.

Khan fired immediately at the guard holding Carol, and a blackened hole appeared in the center of his forehead, his bat'leth clattering to the floor as he fell, dead upon impact.

Jim flipped the switch and casually tossed the explosive at the exposed array of weapons, grinning smugly at Krell's scream of fury.

The blast was mostly contained, only destroying the area around the weapons, but Jim was still thrown off his feet and across the bridge, his ears ringing, along with Spock, Khan, Carol, and most of the Klingons.

The warriors struggled to their feet and began to shoot wildly at him, panicking, and Jim rose to meet them, though he knew that it didn't matter how many Klingons he killed at that point – they would all die soon anyway.

Spock shouted a verbal command at the computer to open the door, allowing the space beyond the bridge to be contaminated immediately.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jim saw Carol crawling towards one of the terminals, ducking under the blaster fire between Spock, Khan, himself, and the remaining Klingons. He wondered what she was doing.

Inevitably enough, seconds later the Klingons lost hold of their weapons, screaming as their bodies contorted even as the humans in the room remained unharmed. Some of them fell, twitching gruesomely before they stilled for the final time. Despite his contempt for the Klingon crew, Jim couldn't help but feel a flash of sympathy. He knew what a painful death felt like.

As soon as the Klingons had stopped firing, Khan turned to face Jim, shooting the blaster out of his hand with precision and skill. Spock raised his own weapon in response and fired at Khan, the energy bolt searing the augment's shoulder.

_Why aren't they shooting to kill? _Jim wondered fleetingly about both men. Did they each have some prior arrangement that he wasn't aware of?

Khan growled, raising his injured arm to aim directly between Spock's eyes. Jim's eyes widened in fear, but Spock was already falling even before Khan pulled the trigger.

Carol stood behind the Vulcan, a phaser in her hand, and Jim wondered where she had found it. Her face was pale and she looked guilty, as if she could not believe that she had just stunned one of her commanding officers. She stepped away from the terminal and knelt beside the unconscious Spock, checking to make sure that he was still breathing.

Khan wasted no time and he leapt at Kirk, throwing his blaster aside. Jim grinned, taking the hidden remote control out of his pocket. As Khan reached him, Jim pressed the button, relishing in Khan's surprised scream. He stepped aside and let the augment crash into the wall behind him, his entire body shaking in agony.

Kirk tsked and shook his head in mock disappointment as Khan fell to his knees, speaking over the augment's gasps of pain. There was blood running down Khan's chin from where he had bitten through his lip.

"You thought it would be so easy to play Jim Kirk, a _lesser being_, didn't you, Khan?" Jim began, still holding the button down firmly, months' worth of pent-up fury leaking into his voice. "If you're superior to us all, then why are you the one helpless on the floor?"

"_Jim, please_ –" He heard Carol's voice somewhere behind him, but he ignored her. She had no say in how he punished Khan, who was really nothing more than a slave.

"_My blood_," Khan managed to gasp, looking up at Jim, intense hatred and a hint of admiration in his eyes. "_You –"_

Jim chuckled, stepping closer to his fallen enemy. "Yeah. I've gained some…_newfound strength_, that's true. But I had this made weeks ago, as soon as I allowed you on board my ship, just in case of an emergency. Your freedom was _never _yours, you sorry son of a bitch. You thought you were in control…it was only an illusion. You're _mine_."

Khan looked back at him through his bangs, breathing raggedly, his eyes glittering with helpless rage.

Jim smiled serenely and knelt down in front of the injured augment, setting the remote control aside. As he suspected, Khan was too weak to even raise his arms to defend himself.

Jim stroked the augment's cheek in mock affection, and as Khan jerked away from his touch, he leaned in closer. "How many lives have you destroyed in your time, Khan?" Jim whispered. "You'll cut anyone down, as long as it suits your needs. But it was all for nothing, in the end, wasn't it? You couldn't protect your family,"

Jim reached up to wrap his hands around Khan's skull, searching Khan's memories for an idea of how to best apply pressure.

"You couldn't defeat me," he hissed, beginning to squeeze, relishing Khan's twisted smile. Apparently the augment also appreciated the irony.

"_Jim! _If you kill him, you'll –"

"_And you couldn't_," Jim growled, Carol's objection fueling his righteous fury, "_take her from me!"_

Jim's mind registered the sound of a phaser blast the second before it hit his back. He was thrown to the side as he let go of Khan, weakened but not unconscious.

Jim struggled to his feet, turning to look at Carol, astonished by her latest betrayal. He knew that she sympathized with the augment enough to betray her crew, but Khan had just threatened her life! Even worse, he had promised to kill her as he had her father, and now that Jim was trying to give him a taste of his own cruelty, she still objected!

"Jim," Carol whispered, still holding the phaser up, tears in her eyes, "please don't. You'll – you're linked to him. If you kill him…I can't lose you both."

Jim's eyes widened. He hadn't thought of _that_ before, but perhaps Carol had a point. Khan's blood had saved his life, but very little was known about its actual properties. What if his life _was _liked to Khan's, for better or for worse?

But something about Carol's word choice bothered him.

"You can't lose us _both_," Jim repeated, looking back at Carol intently and taking a step towards her. "Meaning that you care about Khan as much as you care about me?"

"Jim, please," Carol pleaded, backing up, her eyes wary. "You're better than this. If you kill him that way, you'll be on his level."

"_Answer the question!_" Jim shouted, and Carol flinched, backing up against the terminal.

Jim stooped to pick up the remote control from the floor, holding it aloft, his finger on the button.

"Answer me," he whispered, "or we'll see how much more of this Khan can take before it kills us both." He looked her directly in the eyes, blue meeting blue.

"Do you love him?"

Carol's arms were shaking as she pointed the phaser at him, and Jim read the answer on her face even before her words shattered what was left of his heart.

"Y-yes, Jim. Yes, I….love Khan."

Jim's world was still in that moment and he didn't even see the dying Klingon throw his bat'leth until it was already buried in Carol's stomach. He gaped, watching numbly as Carol dropped her phaser, clutching the blade and sinking to her knees.

He turned around, seeing Krell smile wickedly as he breathed his last.

* * *

_a/n:_ Sooo…yeah. It's 100% acceptable to hate me right now. I understand completely, because I can't help but trolololol with cliffhangers at the end of every chapter.

What was Carol working on as the boys fought? Will she survive long enough for us to find out? Will Khan ever have his revenge, or will Jim take this round? Stay tuned…for the last two chapters! ;) Maybe an epilogue too!

And thanks so much for the favs/follows/reviews! :)


	16. At Great Cost

**Chapter 16: At Great Cost**

Pain still radiated from his every nerve even after the torture stopped, and his vision began to blur around the edges. Khan felt as if his heart was pumping acid through his veins, up to his synapses, down into the very marrow of his bones, slowing more and more with each beat.

As his mind desperately tried to process the events of the last minute, he wondered why he wasn't dead. Kirk had been listing Khan's failures as his hands had tightened around his skull, and Khan had smiled and laughed inside because even with his blood, the captain was still as shortsighted as ever.

_A Pyrrhic victory_. Khan recalled the concept from his studies in warfare before cryosleep; Kirk thought that he had won, that Khan's life was his to grant or deny, when in reality it was entirely the opposite.

Khan had been prepared to accept his death, knowing that although Kirk would die with him, his vengeance went much deeper.

Khan had erased all that the arrogant but brilliant captain used to be with his blood and manipulation. If Kirk still had the presence of mind to look back now, he would not recognize his former self.

It should have brought him joy, or at least a feeling of dark satisfaction, but somehow it felt hollow.

He was aware of voices again around him. Voices that were full of anger, full of pain.

"Answer me," Kirk whispered, "or we'll see how much more of this Khan can take before it kills us both."

_Please no, _Khan begged silently, dreading yet another round of torture from the device, another taste of the worst pain his nervous system could process. His mind would die long before his body shut down.

"Do you love him?"

Khan's head shot up at the raw, bare bitterness in Kirk's voice. Bitterness and love and despair and _pain pain pain._ Khan understood him in that moment, more completely than he ever had before; after all, his entire universe was pain.

Carol was pointing a phaser at her captain, her eyes full of sorrow and fear but steely with resolve. She was looking at Kirk, not at him, but Khan read the answer on her face even before her words mended what was left of his heart.

_Augments don't have souls_, his creators used to tell him whenever he asked too many questions as a child. _Why would we design a killing machine to feel like an actual person?_

But he knew when he heard her next words that they were _wrong_, had always been wrong, because he was _feeling_ –

"Y-yes, Jim. Yes, I….love Khan."

Kirk didn't register the sudden movement from behind them but Khan did, and he remembered in that instant that the universe was not a kind place; debts had to be paid, often in blood, and Khan had broken his word to a very bloodthirsty Klingon.

Krell's bat'leth met its mark and Carol fell to her knees clutching the wound, gasping in surprise and pain as blood ran over her fingers.

Khan saw red, his fury overwhelming all rational thought as it had when he killed Admiral Marcus. He turned to face Krell, to have his _vengeance_, but the Klingon was already dead, his empty eyes staring mockingly back at Khan.

Khan's frantic, panicked breaths burned his lungs as he turned to look back at Carol, and he stood slowly, shakily. Kirk was still gaping numbly and disbelievingly back at Carol, as if her most recent words were as much of a shock to him as her soon-to-be-fatal injury.

With Krell dead, Khan's rage found a new target. He stopped to grab a blaster off of a dead Klingon, aiming it at the back of Kirk's head. As Kirk was now, one shot, even ten shots wouldn't kill the 'new and improved' captain – but Khan's trigger finger was fast, and he would take his chances.

_My fault my fault my fault_, screamed the small part of his mind untouched by his animal fury, but Khan knew that he couldn't listen to it. If he did, it would destroy him utterly.

"Khan…_stop_ …" He heard Carol's frail voice from the terminal and spared her a glance, making sure to keep an eye on Kirk, who had tensed at her words, realizing that Khan now held a weapon.

Her face was pale from blood loss and the sword was buried deep in her stomach, and Khan wanted drop his weapon and run to her on instinct because there was just so much _blood._ Carol struggled to stand, pulling herself up to lean against the terminal.

Khan tore his gaze away from her and looked back at Kirk, giving the doomed captain his full attention. He pressed the barrel against the back of Kirk's head, eager to see him fall.

"I would have preferred to crush your skull," Khan snarled, his hatred taking on a life of its own. "But you are not worth the effort, or any more wasted words."

Kirk laughed mockingly, sounding carelessly confident for a man who was about to die. _Laughing in the face of death._ Khan wished that he could make it sound so easy, but the image of Carol's injury wouldn't leave his mind's eye.

"I guess you win the game, Khan," Kirk said casually. "I was outplayed, true, but you were _lucky._ You do know that soon after Carol's injection wears off, you'll die, right?"

Kirk's tone changed suddenly, his voice painfully young and vulnerable. "Please just…let my crew live. And take care of our…of _your _crew…while you still can, okay?"

"I will," Khan promised, ignoring the troubling new humanity in Kirk's voice and preparing to pull the trigger.

"Khan, _stop_!" Carol shouted, and Khan paused despite his need to see his enemy _burn_.

"You _promised _me…" Carol gasped, struggling to stay on her feet and operate the terminal at the same time. Khan couldn't help but admire her sheer stubbornness, even knowing that it meant nothing good for him.

"Your crew. Hangar bay," Carol continued, pointing at the screen. "If you kill him…I'll empty the cargo…into space."

Kirk inhaled sharply, surprised, but Khan only laughed bitterly. Oh, she was _clever_**,** and Khan had almost forgotten about her hidden ruthless streak. She was a weapons specialist, after all, and a Marcus.

_Like father, like daughter._

"I should have remembered," Khan responded, his voice hollow. He looked at her accusingly, and she met his glare, visibly struggling to stay conscious. "Whatever else you may be, your name is still Carol _Marcus_."

Carol flinched, either from the pain of her injury or Khan's cruel words, but she didn't move away from the terminal or take her shaking hand off of the controls.

"I am…what I am. So _keep… your promise_."

Khan raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced that Carol had the nerve to murder seventy-two helpless people. If she didn't act soon, and if she continued to allow him to stall, she would bleed to death and her threat would be empty.

"I could just wait for you to bleed out, and then kill him," Khan suggested coldly, forcing the ruthless words out. Despite Carol's threat to his crew, however, he knew that such an ending would bring him no satisfaction.

Carol smiled knowingly at him, her hand falling to her side as she sank to her knees, unable to stand any longer. "Do…what you have to. But I don't think…you will."

Her words from earlier that day echoed in his mind as he saw her smile.

_Is that your way of saying you love me?_

Khan's hands shook as he pressed the barrel into the back of Kirk's head. His body, his mind, his entire _being_ screamed for his torturer's death. He knew that he could have it if he acted now; Carol was dying, took weak to work the terminal, and if he killed Kirk, his people would suffer no consequences.

And yet…

_You owe him a debt._

It was infuriating, it was intolerable, it was _illogical_…but it was true.

"You say I won because of luck," Khan leaned forward and hissed into Kirk's ear, feeling the captain tense in preparation of his expected death. "But it was already determined from the beginning. You lost the second you defied me at that emergency meeting, and tried to control me, Captain. I am the Fates' lieutenant; I act under orders!"

Khan growled and hit Kirk on the side of the head with the handle of his blaster as hard as he could. Kirk dropped to the floor, unconscious, and Khan made sure to stomp on each of his hands before making his way to Carol, feeling bones crunch under his heels.

_Let's see how you handle a little taste of pain when you wake up, Kirk._

He knelt at Carol's side as she fell unconscious, catching her and cradling her in his arms before her head hit the floor.

"I kept my promise," he whispered, tucking a strand of tangled blond hair behind her ear.

Khan's breath caught in his throat as he saw the deathly paleness of her lips and skin. The sword stuck out of her stomach at an awkward angle, but it hadn't pierced all the way through. Her chest was still rising and falling weakly, but she would be just another corpse littering the room within moments unless he acted now.

_I would do anything to protect my family._

But Carol had _threatened_ his family – his species, his people. Khan knew that several months ago, he would have been content to let her bleed out the last of her life onto the cold, uncaring floor. She was only a human girl, after all.

But now…Carol had also spokento _save _his family, and had freed him so that he could bring them to safety. It was by far the kindest thing that any human had ever done for him.

He also could not deny that his protective instincts had expanded to include her, whether he liked it or not.

Now he had seventy-three lives to protect.

Khan looked around for something sharp with which to spill his blood.

He had always been a man of action, and that wouldn't change now.

* * *

Spock opened his eyes slowly, wincing as the bright lights of the bridge streamed in. He felt disoriented, his arms and legs heavy and numb, as if he had just been…stunned.

Therefore, it was logical to assume that was exactly what had happened.

"Mr. Spock," a cold, familiar voice addressed him from somewhere nearby.

"Khan," Spock growled back, sitting up slowly and looking around until his eyes fell on his enemy.

The normally immaculate augment was covered in blood, and he was leaning over an unconscious, unnaturally pale Dr. Marcus. The weapons specialist was almost as bloody as Khan, and for a few seconds, Spock thought that he had stabbed her to death. A bat'leth was lying at her side, crimson on the tip of its blades, and there was a long knife in Khan's hand.

But Carol Marcus's chest rose and fell steadily, and as Spock looked at her bare stomach, around which most of the blood was pooled, he saw no wound.

It was not hard to deduce what Khan had done.

"I promised you answers," Khan began, gesturing to the nearly-healed gash along his forearm. "So before I leave you to your fate, what exactly do you want to know?"

Spock looked around for his captain, and he felt his pulse rise as he saw that Kirk was no longer on the bridge and the door was sealed. He couldn't see the Klingon ship anymore from the viewport, so he assumed that it was either destroyed or they were somewhere far away.

"Where is the captain?"

Khan smiled with a certain savage satisfaction. "He is sealed inside one of the nearby airlocks. I have command of this ship now, and if you do anything unwise…well, I don't need to spell out to you what will happen to him."

Spock clenched his jaw and forced his anger back. Losing control around Khan yet again wouldn't get him the answers that he so desperately needed.

"Does your blood turn everyone into an augment?" Spock asked curiously despite himself as he looked at Carol Marcus, remembering Kirk's resistance to stun blasts and the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. He also seemed to speak Klingon relatively well now, and Spock had never read anything about that in Jim's file. "The captain seems to have gained many of your traits."

Khan smiled absently, glancing down at Carol. "Not necessarily. I healed a little girl in London with my blood, and humans have taken my blood throughout my life to benefit from its properties, for many reasons. But your Captain Kirk is…shall we say, a _special case._"

"Because he was already dead when he received your blood?" Spock deduced, wondering for the first time if they should have left Kirk that way. At least he would have died a hero, instead of being resurrected as a monster.

"Yes. My blood was designed to work on _living _subjects only, Mr. Spock. In those cases, the effects are benign and temporary – just an elevated healing factor, for as long as the body requires it. With Kirk…it was certain to have more unpredictable effects."

Khan's eyes went cold. "You should never have stolen my blood without understanding what it was."

Spock felt sick as he realized the enormity of his mistake. Perhaps he should have just killed Khan on top of the moving vehicle in San Francisco, with the screams of the augment's victims still echoing in their ears. But maybe…maybe some of the old Jim was still left, and he was losing hope too soon.

"Will he become even more like _you_?" Spock spat, his voice rough with emotion. "Or will he retain some of his old self?"

Khan glanced thoughtfully back at him. "It's hard to know for sure. I fought him and spoke with him after you were stunned, and I know beyond a doubt that he still hates _me_. But he is confused…mentally as well as physically. He seems to believe that my crew is also _his _crew."

Spock took a shaky breath, trying unsuccessfully to force back an intense wave of emotion. His planet destroyed, and now _this_…he wasn't sure how much more he could endure before breaking entirely.

"Does he remember us at all? His friends?" Spock couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"He asked me to spare you," the augment answered quietly.

"Will you grant his request?" Spock asked drily, knowing that if Khan let them live, it meant that he had something even more unpleasant planned.

The warrior's wicked smile only confirmed Spock's fears. "When I took command of the ship I noticed a very interesting emergency transmission in the records. It was sent to Starfleet Headquarters, right around the time the warp core must have failed."

Spock tensed, knowing that Khan had discovered his bargain with the Admirals.

"I wasn't able to salvage the entire message, but it wasn't hard to make an educated guess about how that conversation went. I am sure you were called a traitor when you asked for help, and that you had to promise something as leverage…something that Starfleet desperately wants."

"You and your crew," Spock sighed, not even bothering to deny it. "I took the only logical path that was available at the time. If you want to punish someone, then punish me and not the rest of the crew."

Khan smiled slowly. It reminded Spock of an animal on Earth, the shark, when it closed in on its cornered prey. "Who said anything about punishment? _I _won't be the one deciding your fate, Mr. Spock."

"Then who…?" Spock began to ask, before his realization chilled him to the bone.

"I'll leave that to the Admirals," Khan whispered with a cold finality.

* * *

As the last of the crew was beamed down onto the surface of Ceti Alpha V, Khan turned to regard Spock once again, his phaser still pressed to Kirk's temple, set on kill.

"Don't listen to him, Spock," Jim begged, but he was helpless to resist and bring about his own death with the bones in both of his hands shattered, and one of his legs broken. Khan had given him an additional parting gift as he was dragged out of the airlock.

"You died once for us, Captain," Spock responded quietly. "We owe it to you to take this one chance."

"Your plan's not gonna work, Khan," Jim gasped, his improved body healing quickly, but still overwhelmed by pain. "You can't fly this ship alone for long. And the device…you'll just get Carol and your crew killed along with you."

"Death isn't always the worst fate," Khan mused, his voice dangerous, "As you will soon understand, Captain."

Spock locked eyes with Khan, his entire body tense with a cold fury. "Once we escape this exile," he promised, his voice low, "I swear that I will find you and kill you for this, even if I have to hunt you to the ends of the universe."

Khan laughed wildly, his fear and excitement blending together. "I doubt that you will ever escape, Mr. Spock. Starfleet will wash their hands of you, and in time you will all be consumed by this planet. But if you _can_ find me…then I welcome a rematch."

He nodded at the transporter room, and Spock stepped in, waiting in tense anticipation for Kirk.

But Khan wasn't quite finished with him yet.

"We are alike now," he whispered into Kirk's ear, and the captain shook his head in denial, a tear falling from the corner of his eye.

"We are _alike_," Khan mused, feeding off of Kirk's pain, "but I am still _better_. You have my blood, but you still couldn't protect your ship or your crew. You killed two of your own men," he added sadistically, remembering the bodies they had passed on their way, and more tears fell.

"You used the very weapons that you condemned," Khan continued, his voice a savage whisper, "and then you lost her – to _me._"

He shoved Kirk roughly into the transporter room, and Spock caught the injured captain, holding him up as he glared murderously at Khan.

"This has been…interesting," he called as columns of light began to form around Kirk and his first officer, beaming them down to join the rest of their crew.

"But everyone bows to Khan Noonien Singh in the end."

With his opponents gone, Khan took a moment to ponder his victory. This wasn't exactly the fate he'd had in mind for the _Enterprise _crew, but perhaps it was even better than his original plans. Still…it seemed _empty_, and the satisfaction that he normally would have felt wasn't there.

_We are alike_, he had told Kirk. Khan had seen a reflection of his old self in Kirk's eyes that day, but he hadn't quite recognized the man staring back at him. Kirk was now a ruthless killer, a savage willing to destroy anyone in his way, as Khan had been not so long ago.

Or maybe he still saw himself in Kirk, and he couldn't accept the monster staring back at him.

But in the end, he had kept his promise to Carol – though perhaps not exactly how she had wanted.

Khan walked back to the bridge, wondering if she was awake yet. He had to bring the ship somewhere safe, where he could regroup as he woke his crew and dealt with the device in his back.

Khan smiled down at her sleeping form as the door opened, remembering that he still had one more promise to keep her when she woke - one that would be enjoyable for them both.

He set the course for a safe destination, and as the ship entered warp, his nerves began to ignite with a very familiar pain.

_Oh, the device_, he remembered as his senses were consumed by flames of white-hot agony. _That was quick._

Then he was falling, and everything went dark.

* * *

_a/n_: One more chapter to go after this, and if people like the ending I'll write an epilogue. :) Props to anyone who can identify the quote Khan used in this chapter.

Carol will have some obstacles coming up next, and there may be a steamy scene… If Khan lives, that is…

Thanks so much for the favs/follows/reviews!


	17. From the Ashes

_a/n_: Just a friendly warning that this chapter gets a bit disturbing at one point as I explore Khan's inner thoughts, and although there _might_ be some sexy times later on (winks), I'm trying to stick to my original rating. Really, it's not a lot worse than previous chapters as far as content goes. Also my questionable medical knowledge on display here.

And WOW over 200 reviews! You guys are awesome! :)

* * *

**Chapter 17: From the Ashes**

Carol looked on as the two Augments before her argued, feeling small and out of place. From the incredible way that they adapted and caught on to new information, it was often easy for her to forget that they had been frozen almost three hundred years ago, and were only revived yesterday.

"It's too much of a risk," Joaquin snapped again, pacing the floor anxiously. "What if the surgery kills him? _She _said -" he paused to shoot Carol another suspicious glare "- that only these _Vulcan _doctors can fix it."

Rodriguez frowned back at Joaquin, weighing his argument. "That may be the case...for a _Vulcan_ patient without Khan's healing ability. For one of us, however..."

He paused, looking back at Carol thoughtfully. "The information you found suggests that most patients would be dead by now."

"Which is _exactly _why we need to find a Vulcan doctor!" Joaquin shouted, becoming more distressed the longer that Khan suffered in the next room. "We should find one, force him to help Khan somehow -"

"_How?" _Carol cut in, the superhuman's desperation only making her more afraid – and angry. "If we go back to Federation space with the _Enterprise_, they'll fire on us for sure."

Joaquin's eyes narrowed as he sized Carol up for what seemed to be the hundredth time in the last thirty-six hours. "_You_ gave him that injection, knowing that he could die when it wore off. And now you say that you can't synthesize another one. How _convenient_. But what else could we expect from a human?"

"Enough, Joaquin," Rodriguez sighed wearily. "I'm going to attempt the surgery. Otherwise, we will only be wasting time that Khan doesn't have."

The dark-haired augment looked as if he wanted to protest, but instead he resumed his pacing, consumed by worry for his leader and closest friend.

Carol couldn't blame him, despite the fact that his distrust made things more difficult. She couldn't even imagine waking up nearly three hundred years in the future, and then being told that her captain and friend was dying from the very torture he had agreed to in order to save her.

"Dr. Marcus," Rodriguez called at the door to Khan's room, "I may need your assistance with him."

Carol followed the doctor inside with Joaquin close behind her, her mind spinning. She wasn't sure if she could handle seeing Khan so close to death again. While she wanted nothing more than to aid in his recovery, if such a thing was even possible now, she was terrified that she would see him die right in front of her eyes.

Over thirty-six standard hours ago, she had woken up on the bridge in the captain's chair after nearly bleeding to death from the bat'leth wound. The dozen plus Klingon bodies had thankfully been moved from the room, though she wasn't sure where Khan had put them, or if she even wanted to know.

The wound on her stomach was gone as if it had never existed at all, despite her clothes being covered in blood.

Kirk and Spock were nowhere to be found, and as she looked around, she had almost missed Khan, too...until she saw his dark-haired form on the floor, unconscious, shaking, and in terrible pain once again.

In that moment, she had forgotten her anger towards him and her worries about whether or not he had kept his promise. He was _dying _from the device's punishment and there was no way to stop it without Kirk there.

And it was all _her _fault.

Carol had wanted to ease the tremors and pain that were slowly but surely killing him more than anything else, but she knew that she couldn't accomplish that alone. The only thing that she could do was to put him on a stretcher, take him to the med bay, and let him know that she was there for him.

She hadn't seen anyone else on board the ship, and she knew that she couldn't fly the _Enterprise _by herself. Her desperation had only grown as Khan's fever rose and he slipped in and out of consciousness, before she remembered that they _weren't_ the only two people left on the ship.

Carol knew that she had taken a huge risk by waking Joaquin, who could have died upon being unfrozen, but she needed somebody to identify the crew's doctor. Khan would surely never forgive her for it if he survived, but Carol accepted that. And from speaking with Joaquin afterward, she knew that he would never forgive _himself_ if Khan died while he was still safely frozen.

Carol sat hesitantly at Khan's bedside across from Joaquin, her eyes watering again as she saw how pale he was. There was a tortured expression on his face, as if he still felt every last bit of pain even though he was unconscious. His arms and legs shook randomly, his muscles reacting automatically to the device's punishment.

"Hey, boss," Joaquin muttered shakily as he took one of Khan's hands, years' worth of friendship in his voice. "We're going to get that thing out of you. I'm not gonna let you die like this..."

Carol felt as if she was intruding in a world that was not her own. What right did she have to be here alongside Joaquin, who had probably known Khan most of his life?

Another powerful series of tremors coursed through Khan's body, and Carol forgot her uncertainty. Khan needed her, and she was there.

She brushed his damp bangs out of his eyes, caressing his cheek gently. He looked so young and vulnerable in that moment that it was hard for her to remember that he used to have the world at his feet, and that he was the captain and leader of an endangered species.

"Speak to him," Rodriguez encouraged her as he prepared the necessary equipment for the surgery, looking at her knowingly. "He should recognize our voices but he must think that we're still in cryosleep. But if you tell him what's happening, maybe he will hear and accept it."

Carol nodded, and she took Khan's limp hands in hers, feeling his tremors run through her own arms. She spoke softly, willing him to understand.

"Khan," she whispered, "I know it hurts, and that you're confused about what's happening right now, but we're here to help you. Joaquin and Rodriguez and I..."

* * *

_He was trapped in a world of fire._

_Every atom of his being sang with the purest agony and was licked by white- hot flame. Khan screamed as his body was consumed and burned to ashes again and again, only to heal itself flawlessly in an endless cycle, his perfect design made an instrument of his torture._

_He was tied down at the end of a seemingly bottomless pit, unable to move his arms and legs, no matter how hard he thrashed and struggled. He saw a light far above him and heard distant voices, but he couldn't make sense of them._

_Joaquin? Joaquin was in his own personal hell, a frozen world far removed from Khan's fiery torment. It was not possible._

_...Carol? But why would Carol be with Joaquin?_

_Khan heard other voices echo around him, but these were clearer, closer, and far less welcome._

_Admiral Marcus stepped into his line of sight, or at least, a broken creature who had once resembled the late admiral. Despite his suffering, Khan was grimly satisfied to see that his former captor's skull had not been repaired in his hallucination...afterlife...whatever this was._

"_I told you all along, son," Marcus sighed through his broken mouth, putting on his false fatherly act, "to give up these pointless dreams of yours. Freedom for your people? A world of your own? You've got to be shitting me."_

"_I killed you," Khan spat, his hatred giving him the strength to speak. "I escaped with nothing but still manged to steal __**my**__ ship back and crush your skull. How is it living with half a head, __**sir**__?"_

_Marcus's laugh sent shivers down Khan's scorched spine. "It was nicely done, kid, even I can admit that. I always knew you were an animal. But let me tell you something." _

_Marcus leaned in close and Khan grimaced as his blood dripped down onto his face._

"_You think I'm the last obstacle? That because you killed me, because you escaped Starfleet, it's all over?"_

_He put his boot on Khan's face and forced his head sideways into the open flames._

"_**War is coming**__, son. And you're a war machine, a weapon to be used as your masters see fit. You always have been. Nothing's gonna change for you."_

"_**No**__ -" Khan shouted, but Marcus was stepping on him too hard, crushing him, and Khan felt the bones in his head begin to splinter as the fire consumed him once more - _

_He woke again in the center of a decimated city. Broken buildings marred the skyline, and the ash and dust in the air was so thick that it almost blocked out the sun. Dying screams echoed all around him, and the instant that Khan looked around, he knew where he was. _

_The Vengeance loomed dozens of meters high behind him, its outside torn and smashed from cutting through the city. All of the proud buildings in its path were gone, the structures that had once been impressive feats of architecture and design reduced to dust._

_A whisper of confusion broke through Khan's growing horror. Where were all of the people? There had been civilians he had run past that day when he had attempted his escape – they hadn't __**all**__ died in the crash._

_The screaming only became louder and closer, and it Khan couldn't pinpoint its location. If everyone was dead, then how was he still hearing it?_

_His head felt like it was being split down the center. It __**hurt**__ more than anything, and the phantom cries only echoed more shrilly...as if they were being torn from the deepest recesses of his mind the longer that he stood still. _

_Khan began to run as if his life depended on it. He stumbled through the broken streets gracelessly, blind and deaf from the agonized screams being ripped out of his memory – or were they his own? Where was he? What -_

_He tripped over a mass on the ground, falling face-first onto the concrete. _

_Khan picked himself up slowly, looking around for the reason why he had fallen, and seeing - _

_Three bodies lying side-by-side, their empty eyes staring at up him accusingly. The man and woman appeared to be around the same age, and both wore rings on their stiff, lifeless fingers. The third body was much smaller, however, and resembled them both - _

_Khan backed away in desperation, his lungs unable to take in enough air, the ash and dust making him cough and choke._

"_This isn't...what I wanted," he shouted at the dead family with their cold, accusing, judging eyes. "This was Spock's fault! He __**lied**__ to me, knowing what I would do in response..."_

_Khan turned and ran on instinct, unsure of where to go as his fear consumed all rational thought, only knowing that he had to get __**away.**_

_The screaming only rose again in pitch, and Khan's entire body felt like a bowstring about to snap - _

_He stopped abruptly, seeing more shapes sprawled on the ground around him. Except these were different from the last group, and also undeniably __**familiar**__ - _

_Joaquin._

_Kati._

_Rodriguez._

_Ling._

_And sixty-eight others, each one more precious to Khan than his own life. Every member of his crew was covered in ash and dust and blood like his thousands of other victims, united in death like the countless other families he had destroyed - _

"_Well, what did you expect, Mr. Superior?"_

_Khan whirled, seeing Kirk leaning against a nearby building, smirking at him in his usual insolent way._

"_**You." **__Khan breathed, his rage and grief making his voice whisper-soft and deadly. "You murdered them all. Where is your moral superiority now?"_

_Kirk's condescending smirk only grew, and Khan charged at him, intending to punch him over and over until his arm weakened, until his face was just a bloody caved-in mess - _

_Except Kirk's face was morphing, __**changing**__, and Khan's fist collided with features that were very familiar indeed._

_It was like looking in a mirror._

_The other Khan grabbed his arm and laughed, twisting it effortlessly behind his back and forcing him to his knees as if he was __**weak**__, as if he was one of the thousands of human corpses littering the streets._

"_Do you see our work?" His doppelganger whispered, his voice still Kirk's despite him wearing Khan's features. "We wanted this for years...revenge on these inferior creatures for all of the misery they caused us."_

"_No," Khan denied, seeing Joaquin's still form only a few paces away. "My crew...they weren't supposed to die!"_

_His doppelganger hummed dismissively, forcing Khan's head up to make him face the rest of the destruction. _

"_Collateral damage," he sneered callously with Kirk's voice. "What does it matter? We got our revenge in the end. Maybe it was for the best, too – we were never leaders. We couldn't protect them forever."_

"_You're __**lying**__!" Khan screamed, struggling to break free, before seeing something that shattered what was left of his twisted heart._

_Her blond hair and pale skin was stained red with blood, blue eyes open and empty, staring off into nothingness. A wickedly curved bat'leth pierced through her stomach, and her face was frozen in an agonized scream -_

_Blood. _

_There was blood everywhere, spilling in from the bay, falling from the dark sky. _

_And voices – voices that said things he could never unhear, could never forget._

"_You are a __**murderer**__!"_

"_I swear that I will find you and kill you for this, even if I have to hunt you to the ends of the universe."_

"_But it was all for nothing in the end, wasn't it? You couldn't protect your family."_

"_I'm sorry," Khan whispered, to Carol and to his crew and the thousands who had died in their name. "I'm no true captain."_

_His soul felt torn open, laid bare, and a deep darkness began to consume the broken city, now his entire world. Unlike the unbearable heat from before, now Khan just felt cold, as he had been in his cryotube. _

_Except this was a cold that he knew was much more final._

_With nothing else to live for, he opened his arms and embraced it._

* * *

There was just so much blood.

Carol hadn't witnessed many surgeries in her time, and she didn't know if Khan's was going entirely smoothly.

They had been in the operating room for hours now. She was still there because Rodriguez needed her assistance with some of the equipment, and Joaquin was there because nobody dared tell him to leave.

They wouldn't have left anyway.

Rodriguez was calm and precise, and he had a poker face that nearly rivaled a Vulcan's, but Carol could see that he was becoming more concerned the longer that the procedure took.

"His fever is rising," Rodriguez reported quietly, and Carol tensed at his words. "His body is struggling to adapt to the device's removal."

There was a clean incision along Khan's spine, and for the first time Carol saw the instrument that had been torturing him near the point of death for the last two days.

It was nearly transparent and made of some strange material that she couldn't identify. Rodriguez had removed the majority of it from Khan's back, and the part that was visible to her was barbed and twisted, meant to go deep and cause as much pain as possible.

Carol whispered soothing words to Khan whenever she could, but she had the sinking feeling that he simply wasn't hearing her. She felt more powerless than she had in months, and she struggled to keep her frustrated tears at bay.

When she looked up again, she saw Joaquin watching her, looking at her with his usual suspicion, but also a hint of curiosity.

Carol knew that if Khan didn't survive this, then she was as good as dead too. Joaquin had been skeptical of her motivations ever since she had woken him, and Carol considered it a miracle that he hadn't killed her yet. If Khan died, however, she knew that nothing would hold him back.

Perhaps she would even accept death at that point.

"You love him," Joaquin stated matter-of-factly, and Carol nodded, seeing no point in denying it now.

"Is that why you decided to help him? Why you betrayed your own people?"

Carol frowned at his question, looking down at Khan's agonized form. It hadn't _started_ that way – she had despised him at first, for what he had done to Starfleet, to her father, and to Jim.

But something had drawn her back to him after their chance meeting, and again and again despite the constant warnings from the more rational part of her mind.

Before, she had rationalized it by telling herself that it was because of the experiments, but looking back now...

Carol knew that she would have ended up here with him even if things had been different.

"Yes," she answered with conviction. "And I would do so again."

Joaquin smiled, and it was not entirely kind. "But does he love you? If he does...then why haven't your words given him any comfort?"

Carol stared back, unsure of how to respond. Guilt began to consume her once again – in the end, at the final countdown, she still wasn't good enough.

A frantic beeping sounded from one of the monitors, and Carol was jolted out of her thoughts. Khan's heart rate was falling – and fast.

"Damn it," Rodriguez hissed, and Joaquin leapt to his feet, startled. "I need the defibrillator!"

He gave Khan another injection as Carol hurriedly prepared the defibrillator, her own heart beating fast enough for both her and Khan.

Carol gaped at the monitor as she saw Khan's heart rate drop to zero, a flatline replacing the former erratic measurement.

"Stand back," Rodriguez yelled, applying the electricity to Khan's chest once.

Twice.

Three times – nothing. The smooth line stayed the same.

Joaquin was yelling desperately at the doctor, but Carol couldn't hear either of them over the blood rushing to her head. She was blinded by tears, her body accepting the truth before her mind did.

Khan was dead, and unless he woke up now...

She leaned in as close as she could with the electricity, angrier than she had ever been before.

"Khan," she began, her voice rough, "I know you can hear me. We're all _waiting _for you to wake up, you selfish bastard, and if you leave us now, I'll _never_ forgive you..."

* * *

_Darkness._

_Cold._

_The light was swiftly fading, and it felt as if he was encased in a solid block of ice. Khan looked back at the ruins of the fallen city once more before the black veil consumed him entirely, feeling a deep sense of regret, but also a profound peace._

_Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Perhaps his death would finally free him of his crimes._

_There was a faint tunnel of light above the city, and a single voice. Khan struggled to hear it, knowing that it would be the last sound he ever heard from the living world. He wasn't optimistic enough to believe that he could come back from this – all things had an end, and this was his._

"_We're all waiting for you to wake up...you selfish bastard...I'll never forgive you..."_

_Carol? But she was dead. Hadn't he just __**seen**__ it?_

"_**Please**__ Khan...if you can hear me, then fight...I love you."_

_Her last three words washed away his doubts and gave him a strength that he had never felt before. They were a light cutting through the darkness, and hope replaced his resignation and defeat._

_He didn't know what was real anymore, or if his hopes would only be proven false, but he didn't care. __**She**__ needed him._

_Khan fought harder than he ever had in his life. He tore through the thick, cold darkness and back into the broken city, reaching for the light, for __**her **__voice. _

_It surrounded him and consumed the darkness, ash, and dust. _

Khan blinked, nearly blinded by bright fluorescent lights, and as his eyes adjusted he found himself staring up at the shocked faces of Rodriguez and Joaquin.

And Carol.

He smiled smugly before passing out again a split second later.

* * *

Carol sat up quickly when she heard a knock, the sound startling her out of her light sleep. She reluctantly threw back the covers, pulling on her clothes.

Sleep, a wonderful thing - she hadn't gotten enough of it in the past week.

Rodriguez had been able to remove the device entirely after Khan's near-death and revival. The surgery could have gone better, but the doctor believed that Khan would recover completely in time.

Khan was still in the med bay the last she had heard, and he was steadily improving. Rodriguez had only allowed her to see him a few times, and it was mostly when he was sleeping.

During the past few days, she and Joaquin had established a tentative truce as they took turns watching over Khan. Despite the fact that she was a human and a former Starfleet officer, he was beginning to accept that she meant Khan no harm.

Still, though, Carol couldn't help but feel like an outsider. When Khan woke the rest of his crew, could she ever be accepted as part of it?

Carol opened the door cautiously, expecting to see Joaquin. Instead, she saw a more familiar handsome face.

Her jaw dropped as Khan looked back at her almost sheepishly, but with a definite longing in his eyes. At first, she wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss him or throttle him. How like Khan, to surprise her with his sudden recovery without even a minute's notice.

"Carol," he said before she could react either way, his rich, dark voice immediately killing any hope of a measured response. She felt tears begin to fall, and he gathered her into his arms as she surrendered to his embrace.

"Thank you," he whispered into her hair, holding her against him as she sobbed.

Once her tears slowed Carol pulled back gently, studying Khan's face and posture. He was still pale, and he wasn't standing as straight as usual. It hurt her to see it, but she knew that it would take a while longer for even an Augment to recover fully from such an experience.

"They just let me out," Khan explained, irritation but also affection for his friends in his voice. "I wanted to see you earlier but they strapped me to the bed."

"You _died,_ Khan. I thought you wouldn't..." Carol trailed off, unsure of how to put the emotions of the last three days into words.

"I heard you," Khan said quietly, "when I was almost gone. It was cold, and dark...but when I heard your voice, I pulled through."

Carol pulled him towards her, and then they were kissing with a fiery passion that she had never truly known before. Her hands roamed his back, and she felt bandages there under his shirt, evidence of his recent ordeal.

Khan pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"I love you, too," she whispered back, the words coming out naturally, as if she had prepared to say them at that moment for her entire life.

"I've kept one of my promises to you so far," Khan began, and Carol was relieved to hear that her former crew members were still alive. "And I want to keep my other promise to you more than anything...but I've hurt you. And I should earn your forgiveness first."

Carol knew what Khan meant by his 'other' promise, and she wanted him more than anything. He _had _hurt her, months ago and just recently, in ways that were both forgivable and unforgivable...but he had also kept his word to spare Kirk and had then saved her life.

It was a start. If he could build on that, then she would eventually trust him more fully. But at that moment...she wasn't about to let anything hold her back.

"You can start," she said playfully, taking the hem of his shirt and pulling it up, "by keeping that other promise."

Khan didn't need any further prompting. He yanked the shirt over his head, and she pulled him into the room, slamming the door shut behind them.

He kissed her fiercely, his teeth drawing blood from her lip, both passion and possessiveness in his embrace. Carol knew that she should be afraid, but instead she felt exhilarated, like she always did when the clock was counting down, when life and death blurred together and made her entire being tremble.

She couldn't live any other way.

Khan's hands moved under her shirt, his fingertips drawing shivers wherever they went. He quickly divested her of the rest of her clothes, his pupils nearly swallowing his irises as he took her in.

Khan adorned her bare skin with kisses and bites, touching more of her than he ever had before and marking her as his.

Carol gasped at his attentions, and she wanted _more_. Khan seemed to have the same idea, and he picked her up in his strong arms as if she was weightless, carrying her over to the bed.

His eyes were smoldering as she undid his belt, and he stepped out of his pants, as naked as she was.

Carol grinned, impressed with what she saw, and with the fact that he clearly wanted her as much as she burned for him.

"_Mine_," Khan whispered, "you're all mine, Carol Marcus."

Carol's smile only widened. "Then come and get me."

She pulled him on top of her and they moved together as one, melting into each other and igniting and _burning_ before rising reborn from the ashes.

* * *

_a/n_: I hope everyone enjoyed the conclusion! I plan to write an epilogue, perhaps just for closure or as a teaser for a possible sequel. I hope to have it finished by the end of this week. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, your reviews gave me a lot of encouragement and good ideas as I was writing. I'm forever grateful! :D


	18. Epilogue

**6 Months Later…**

He sat near the edge of the cliff, watching a waterfall plummet hundreds of meters below. It merged with a river that snaked through the jungle and disappeared beyond the horizon. From the spot where he was sitting, Khan could see nearly every detail of his new domain.

Despite the beauty of his surroundings, he was restless.

Augments were created to be tireless weapons for ending wars, not to sit idle on remote planets and wait for battle to find them. After the events of the last couple years, of course, Khan was not as eager to fight as he had been throughout his youth. But he knew that soon his enemies would find him here, find all of them, and they would have to be ready nonetheless.

And if Spock managed to escape Ceti Alpha V with Kirk and the rest of his crew…then Khan knew that incompetent Klingon and Federation officers would be the least of his worries, assuming they even survived fighting each other.

He had left the ship to find a few hours' peace in solitude, away from the watchful eyes of the rest of his crew, who were all looking to him for guidance. As the days passed by, however, Khan was doubting his own leadership more and more.

He had led them to this wilderness to regroup and prepare for the fight that was coming, but what if he only got them all killed? He was tired of relying on others' mercy to save the people he was supposed to protect in the first place.

The sound of light footsteps approaching his refuge only reminded him of the weight of his responsibility. His newest crew member was not even an augment, and nowadays, even augments could die easily.

"Khan!" He heard a familiar voice call his name from several meters away, its owner slightly breathless from the trek away from her small personal ship. Naturally, Khan had heard her arrival long before she announced it.

He turned, a small smile forming on his lips despite his usual stoicism. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with how Carol affected him, but he was slowly getting used to it. He loved it and hated it at the same time.

Her cheeks were red from the wind and her normally neat blond hair was in disarray, but Khan liked it most when she looked wild and unguarded. Her eyes were bright, and he knew that she was eager to tell him something extremely important.

He looked in her eyes and read the answer, and knew that he had much more to lose now than he ever could have dreamed of before.

"What is it?" He replied, noticing that despite her excitement, she seemed apprehensive. Khan tried to put himself in Carol's place; although she knew that he loved her, she was also aware that he could kill her with zero consequences if he disliked her next words enough. There really wasn't any safe place for her to go if he rejected her.

He wasn't _angry_ over what he expected her to say, but he was ambivalent. The idea thrilled him but also terrified him all at once, because he wasn't sure if he was ready...or worthy.

"I have something to tell you," she whispered, closing the distance between them as he stood and taking his hands in hers hesitantly. "I wanted to wait until we were truly alone."

He had suspected it for the past month, of course, but because neither of them voiced it, it hadn't seemed fully real.

At first, he had dismissed Carol's fatigue and illness every morning as stress from adjusting to the new environment. Humans were much frailer than augments after all, and Carol was a long way from everything she had ever known. She worked hard to keep up as a valuable member of the crew and tried to fit in despite her differences.

But as her stomach began to swell slightly despite the fact that food was carefully conserved by the entire crew, Khan knew deep down that the changes were not caused by stress alone.

Her clear blue eyes met his and Khan couldn't help but admire her bravery, even though it usually meant nothing good for him. But now...

She moved his hands over her growing stomach, and Khan's heart leapt as he realized for the first time what it truly meant.

"Your family is growing by one more," Carol said softly, and Khan looked at her in wonder, speechless.

He knelt down slowly, pressing his ear against the small curve of her stomach. He listened carefully for several seconds, half-afraid that he wouldn't hear anything, but sure enough...

A tiny heartbeat.

There was no more denying it; soon he would be a father.

Khan's head spun with frantic questions. Would it be a boy or a girl? Which of them would it resemble more? What would he tell his future son or daughter when it asked how he and Carol met? About grandparents? He had killed Carol's father, and as a being created in a lab, he'd never had parents of his own.

Could he protect -

"Khan." Carol's voice anchored him back to reality and he looked up, seeing his uncertain expression reflected in her eyes.

"Are you...happy?" She whispered, fear but also an enduring hope in her voice. She believed in him, and had faith that he could be a good father to his child. To _their_ child.

The question inspired a conviction in him that he thought he'd lost in recent months. He stood, pulling her into a kiss, feeling the new life they had created nested between their bodies as they embraced.

Happy?

He was _elated_.

Afraid?

He was _terrified_, but also determined. If anyone threatened his family, his son or daughter, then he would show them what savagery truly meant.

He was back among his people, where he had struggled to be for so long. He _felt_ alone...but he really wasn't.

And he still had _her_.

"I love you," Carol whispered as they pulled apart, happy tears in her eyes as she stroked his cheek.

He loved her.

He hated her for it.

But Khan could not deny that Carol replaced the crippling emptiness that had consumed him his entire life with hope, and as he held her and their child in his arms, he knew that he was finally home.

**The End**

* * *

_a/n: _I wrote this mainly because I see such a resemblance between Asa Butterfield (the actor in Ender's Game) and Khan. He could be either a young Khan or Khan and Carol's son, you decide... :)

Thanks so much for all your support! :D


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